I was feeling pretty proud of myself for my healthy eating at dinner tonight. I had organic lentil soup. And even though I enjoy it, lentil soup is quite high on the sacrifice-taste-for-health-meter. I felt pretty good about myself until I remember all of the other things I had eaten this weekend.

Friday
Dinner: Pizza and beer

Saturday
Breakfast: Bloody Mary (a vegetable!), jello shots, a donut, and a banana.
Lunch: Pizza and beer
Dinner: cheese, artichoke dip, bread and liquor.

Sunday
Lunch: Butterburger
Dinner: Lentil Soup - as if that makes up for the rest of the week. So, I chased it with M&Ms.

Mickey

On Friday afternoon, I saw my first mouse in my classroom. So, next week I began a new campaign titled, "Stop Eating During Class, You Slobs."

P. Egg Nicki

Adrienne organized a kickball team this year. Even though I'm on the team, we have yet to win a game. Sometimes our morale gets a little low but then something happens to raise our spirits. Usually that "something" involves alcohol, but there are occasions when we make good plays.

Due to my kickball league experience, I was asked to fill in for another team today when some of its members decided that they would not make it to a tournament. I have a tough time calling this a "tournament" though, because really it was just an excuse to begin drinking early in the morning. We began with a Bloody Mary breakfast at 9 and then moved on to the jello shots.

After two losses, our team (named "P. Egg Nicki" due to a computer glitch) was knocked out of the competition. It was not a glory-filled day. However, the weather was beautiful and we had a great time.

I have some pictures that I hope capture the spirit of the tournament.

Our team Sponsor, whose motto is "Eat, Drink, & Be Pickled".

The tournament was held in beautiful Pewaukee, Wisconsin, home of the Pewaukee Chamber of Commerce - and of course, the Pickled Egg.

Our Pregame warm-up included alcohol and the playground. This is a picture of Adrienne's legs. I think it captures how "with it" we were that day.

You may ask, "How could you lose to drunk teams?" But remember this was a team of superheroes. Drunk superheroes, but superheroes nonetheless.
And pirates. We lost to teams of drunk pirates.

Somehow, Papa Smurf made it onto the Superhero team. He was the pitcher. And I actually heard him yell during the game, "Quit smurfing around, and Play Kickball!"

I also wish I had a picture of Papa Smurf passed out on a picnic table after his first game.

Parent Teacher Conferences

I had both of my pens taken from my table during parent teacher conferences last night. Now I know where my students get their pen-thievery from.

Overall the experience was a good one. The parents I met were supportive - of me, and of their children. We talked about goals and it was good to see so many people concerned about education and not so much about a child's ego or self-esteem.

The conference was held in a different format than what I expected. All of the teachers sat at tables in alphabetical order in the gymnasium. Nothing particularly funny happened until the end of the evening when the math department had to return our "comfortable" chairs to the computer room. We raced each other across the gym. My department chair is a small woman, so I gave her a ride. But I did not slow down. We received some dirty looks from the other departments and from the administration, but no one stopped us. What are they going to do, fire the entire math department?

As many of you may have guessed while you were in high school, after long days, the teachers did go out to a local bar for adult beverages. (And I am shocked by the number of teachers who smoke!) Some had more to drink than they should have. And I learned things about my coworkers that I had not expected to. It was a good time. And I'm excited for the Christmas party, which traditionally includes a karaoke machine. The math department is not sure if we should sing Stacy's Mom or Paradise by the Dashboard Light. We have plenty of time to decide.

Party Animal

I have been singing the Golden Girls theme song all weekend long. However, I've been changing the words to reflect what happened to me on Friday night.

I invited my friends over for pizza and beer. They were great - the pizza, the beer, and the friends. Sometime at about 10 o'clock, while returning from the bathroom, I thought I would sit on my bed for "a rest." The next thing that I remember happening is that I woke up at about 1 o'clock, and I was completely confused about why there were people in my house. In a daze, I walked into my living room and asked, "What are you people doing here?" It wasn't until they sent me back to bed that I realized that I had invited them there.

Yeah, I'm a wild and crazy guy.

My first house guests

To make a long story short: On Friday night, three Ugandan orphans and their chaperone slept over at my house. The chaperone, Julius, is my age and we enjoyed each other's company. We compared what life is like for 20-somethings in Uganda versus the US. It seems that many things are similar. We're both trying to figure what we want to do with our lives. We both want fulfilling and paying careers. We want to feel secure in our homes and some day provide for our families.

We watched late night TV and I think I convinced Julius that Letterman is better than Leno. Julius persuaded me that I should root for the Kampala soccer team. I was an easy sell as I could not even name another Ugandan city, let alone its soccer team.

In the middle of class

These are comments my students made while I'm in the middle of a lesson! They actually raise their hands and I call on them because I'm anticipating a question about the topic being covered.


Student: Mr. ___, who's your favorite rapper?
Me: Who's your favorite mathematician? Get back to work.


Student: Teacher! Word on the street is you is gay!
Me: Yeah? Word on the street is that a number of my students are trying to switch out of my class because I make you go up to the board, but the guidance department won't let you. Get back to work.

Miter Maid

Christie bought a miter saw off of Craig's List this week. I don't know why. We still don't have our internet working. She needs a stove, and I need a refridgerator. But we now have a high-power saw that could cut off our limbs. I don't even think we have a table strong enough to hold the miter saw.

As I carried it to the basement, I noticed that she didn't have any instructions for it. "I'll just figure it out on my own." was her reasoning. Great. We're still struggling with the dryer hook-up, which luckily does not cause dismemberment when done incorrectly, but somehow she'll figure out the miter saw.

I mentioned that perhaps personal purchases should be approved by all house members from now on, not just the joint purchases.

Mister

Today, I put on my bravery pants and made the long trek to my future place of employment. I know that 13 miles is not too far, but from the point of view of someone who has walked or biked to work for the past 7 years, it's far. Of course, I could run the distance and that way I would have done a marathon every day.

I wore my bravery pants, because I decided that I would walk into the high school office, introduce myself, and hope to be shown around or at least be given some information. Well, the pants did the trick, because that's just what I did. I met my principal and a guidance counselor, who showed me my room. I was also told what classes I would be teaching. Geometry and Trigonometry/Algebra II.

Suddenly my career change has taken a big turn towards reality. I can visualize my classroom, and I need to decorate it in a way to make it mine. I can think about lesson plans and how I want the year to shape. I can make lesson plans for the first week.

The strangest part of today was being called by my last name. Everyone called me "Mister Last Name." And that's how they introduced themselves and addressed each other too. I wonder if I will ever learn the first names of the other staff.

Fanatic

Christie and I are driving to Madison tonight to see the Ditty Bops. I'm not a big fan of concerts, but I always enjoy the Ditty Bops live. I hope there's dancing. And balloons. And washboards. And pirate songs. I love a good pirate song.

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

I finally received my placement in Milwaukee Public Schools. Unfortunately, though I still don't know my grade or subject matter. So, I continue to look for general lesson plans and general thoughts about teaching math. I'm currently reading an interesting book about how to teach problem solving.

I suppose I should also be working on items that I know I'll have to do at one point or another. For example, my certification class requires that I write out my Philosophy of Education and a Letter to the Parents.

However, the unemployed life has been fun. I have been "bumming" around the house, cleaning and fixing things. I still spin and swim in the mornings. I have been shopping and lounging in coffee shops. I have been able to volunteer some time at the church and help Katie set up her classroom. Who needs a job?

Neighbors

I moved into my new house yesterday. I've begun to meet my neighbors. The guy to the south has already offered to "keep an eye on [our] house and shoot anyone breaking into it". To the north, our punk neighbors told us that they like to have "shows" about once a month. I asked them to please warn us ahead of time. Christie wonders if we'll be invited. I think we may be too square.

I lied about my employment status during yesterday's closing. So, I keep imagining the bank coming to my house and forcing me to move out. The word "default" is terrifing.

Things I Have Found While Packing

• Bills due last week
• My Social Security Card
• Frozen Date Bread
• Motivation to post on the Blog
• "Made in Korea" written on my plates. Notice only one Korea.
  

Unemployment

Well, yesterday was my last day as an actuarial analyst. And currently I don't have a job lined up in the school district. They say that I will be placed somewhere, but until I see the contract, I won't feel 100% secure. I am sad to leave the friends that I made at the firm, but I have no regret about leaving the work behind. What feels good is how many of my coworkers told me that I was making the right move. Even the management (and partners in the firm!) said that I would be much happier.

My (ex-) peers have been supportive. Last night we went drinking at the local Dueling Piano Bar. I had a great time. I sang and yelled enough that my throat is sore today. My voice is much deeper today, which has me singing all types of things. "Old Man River" for one.

Next week I am buying a house with Christie. I don't know if I'm excited about the house or not. I'm very scared, but it feels so much better going at this with a friend. At least we can bounce ideas off of each other. And we are able to share the multiple tasks that this process takes.

All of this stress is having an effect on me. I'm not sleeping well, which is very unlike me. My skin is dry in patches, like around my eyes. And I've been irritable on occasion. For example, Christie and I went washer/dryer shopping today. It was a bad experience and, to skip the details, ended with my frustrated request to the front end manager to "explain the amortization schedule they were using for the 'interest-free' payments." The manager gave me a look that said, "I don't get paid enough to deal with wackos like you." And I think Christie almost kicked me.

Bite me.

This is my last week as an actuarial analyst. Friday will be my last day working on pension valuation and administration. I will leave behind the world of the PBGC Form 5500, service cost roll forwards, and Qualified Domestic Relations Order calculations. I will instead enter a world of lesson plans, prom committees, and children who bite their teachers.

Today I skipped work (at the job who still provides my medical benefits) so that I could go to training for Crisis Prevention for Milwaukee Public Schools. It's a two day course, so I'll be skipping work tomorrow too (at the job that actually pays me). Part of the training feels silly. For example, we have to memorize these four stages of crisis, verbatim. Don't say that stage one is "stress" because the correct answer is "anxiety".

Anyway, the bookwork is pretty dumb, however I think that the practical part of the lesson will be useful. We do a good deal of role playing. We pretend that we're students refusing to do homework, or who punch teachers, or who threaten the teachers' cats. It's good to be able to practice responses to things that we had never considered possible. The student-teacher verbal interactions took place during the morning. But the real fun was the afternoon.

After lunch we practiced techniques to escape various holds that students may try on us. We'll do more tomorrow, but today we covered Wrist Grabs, Hair Pulling, Choking, and Biting. That's right - biting! Are students really going to bite me? I didn't sign up for biting students. I just want to teach them to solve systems of equations. With two variables. I want their teeth nowhere near my skin. Not just because teeth hurt, but because some of them have awful dental hygiene. And some of them don't have all of their teeth. They have a "grill". That's has to cause more damage than normal incisors. And if it's gold, couldn't I end up with gold poisoning in my blood? I hope my medical coverage will handle gold . This medical coverage doesn't begin until November. I have two months during which I can't let any students bite me.

A Teacher's Budget

This weekend I found a great sale at an office supply store. I was able to buy:

10 notebooks
3 protractors
24 pencils
24 pens
10 folders

for $2.45. I rock school supplies.

Headlights

I have been at my parents' house in Moscow, Pennsylvania for the past week. I'm home for the Croom-daddy wedding. Today Lindsay will leave behind her single ways and become Mrs. Croom-daddy. In the week between the bachelor party and the wedding I have had plenty of chances to spend time with family and friends. Sometimes we just talk, but often we eat and drink while we catch up.

As I drive around NEPA, I am reminded of the skills that I learned while growing up in a rural area that I don't use very often in Milwaukee. For example, scanning the upcoming road for deer and looking at other drivers so that I can wave if I know them. Another important set of rules that I almost forgot about is the use of high beams instead of the normal head lights when I'm on dark roads.

The thing about driving on back roads is that you need to use the high beams as much as possible. If you just use your normal head lights, you'll easily be over-riding them and by the time that you see a deer or other obstruction you will already have hit because you didn't have enough distance to stop. However, you can't leave your high beams on all of the time because then you'll blind the other drivers. Of course, some people forget, so you just have to flash them once and then they'll realize their mistake.

On windy roads, I like how I can tell when a car is approaching by looking at the reflection of its lights on the telephone wires. I like being able to tell at what point he turned off his high beams. It's also an interesting situation when I approach another car on a long stretch of flat road. This is because we know that we don't have to turn off the high beams as soon as we see each other - there are still several hills between us. However, at what point does our own vision need to be held back because it's hindering someone else's? It's a question that goes so much farther beyond Rts. 307 and 435. It's a question for life. How much do we sacrifice for other people?

How much do we sacrifice when we don't know the other people - and we never will meet the other people. They're traveling in the opposite direction at 65 m.p.h. and all we have to know each other is the shape of our headlights. But we both made simple changes to help the other person's journey.

Work Hugs

It's acceptable to hug your coworkers when you give your notice that you plan to quit. Who knew?

Death by Popsicle

If I don't wake up tomorrow, it's probably because I ate expired popsicles. Seriously, my popsicles expired back in May. It's frozen fruit juice - how does it expire? Well, to test it out, I let the neighbors' dog try it. He's not dead yet. Just kidding. It was the neighbors' kid.

In other death-defying news, I am one step closer to home-ownership following the home inspection that we had on Friday. Our home inspector was Mr. Fix-it. Really. Mr. Fix-it has a radio show on the AM, and he inspected our house. Our realtor was impressed when we told him, however he wished we had told him earlier so that he could get Mr. Fix-it's autograph. I reminded him that we did get Mr. Fix-it's autograph - on our 30 page Inspection Report.



Anyway, it appears that Christie and I are about to buy a death trap! If the chimney doesn't fall on our heads in the night, then surely we will be electrocuted by the mis-wired electric outlets. And don't forget the asbestos!
Actually the inspection went very well. We do have a few things that need to be fixed before the closing, but they're not too big. And some are code violations that would need to be fixed whether we had the inspection or not. Christie and I are already planning the house warming party. See more pictures at Flickr!

Moving on Up

Last week, Christie and I settled on a price for the duplex that we want to buy. Our only contingencies are based on the financing and the inspection. The financing should be no problem. The inspection could uncover something big, but we don't plan on that. So, it seems that I will be a homeowner in mid-August. It's exciting and scary at the same time. When I have pictures, I will be sure to post them.

There are 5 bedrooms in the house, a sleep-able attic, and 2 more futons. Of course, Christie owns half of this, but all of this free housing has to place Milwaukee as a contender for New Year's Eve 2008. MilONYE!