Death by Popsicle

If I don't wake up tomorrow, it's probably because I ate expired popsicles. Seriously, my popsicles expired back in May. It's frozen fruit juice - how does it expire? Well, to test it out, I let the neighbors' dog try it. He's not dead yet. Just kidding. It was the neighbors' kid.

In other death-defying news, I am one step closer to home-ownership following the home inspection that we had on Friday. Our home inspector was Mr. Fix-it. Really. Mr. Fix-it has a radio show on the AM, and he inspected our house. Our realtor was impressed when we told him, however he wished we had told him earlier so that he could get Mr. Fix-it's autograph. I reminded him that we did get Mr. Fix-it's autograph - on our 30 page Inspection Report.



Anyway, it appears that Christie and I are about to buy a death trap! If the chimney doesn't fall on our heads in the night, then surely we will be electrocuted by the mis-wired electric outlets. And don't forget the asbestos!
Actually the inspection went very well. We do have a few things that need to be fixed before the closing, but they're not too big. And some are code violations that would need to be fixed whether we had the inspection or not. Christie and I are already planning the house warming party. See more pictures at Flickr!

Moving on Up

Last week, Christie and I settled on a price for the duplex that we want to buy. Our only contingencies are based on the financing and the inspection. The financing should be no problem. The inspection could uncover something big, but we don't plan on that. So, it seems that I will be a homeowner in mid-August. It's exciting and scary at the same time. When I have pictures, I will be sure to post them.

There are 5 bedrooms in the house, a sleep-able attic, and 2 more futons. Of course, Christie owns half of this, but all of this free housing has to place Milwaukee as a contender for New Year's Eve 2008. MilONYE!

Conversation

At Mick and Kate's wedding

Christie: That was a nice picture of you in the slideshow. When did they take that?
Me: I don't know. Probably the night we went out for Kate and Molly's birthday, which is only a few days before mine.
Chrisite: That's weird - they have the same birthday. Oh wait, they're twins.

Mom

My mom came to visit this week. After three days of my sleeping on the floor (because she had my bed and my cousin had my futon), I convinced her to go to a hotel. My reasoning was that they have air-conditioning. And I would be more pleasant if I weren't sleeping on the floor. (I have beautiful hard wood floors. Beautiful to look at; not beautiful to enjoy via your back.)

I am not sure if Mom had a good time here in Milwaukee. I was very busy so we didn't spend a ton of time together. I worked on the weekdays, because I'm saving my vacationtime for a trip home in July. And I had to continue my house-hunt as the deadline looms. She was invited to come on both house-hunting trips but decided against it. (I am so thankful for this as I don't think she will like the neighborhood to which I am moving.) And it was hot, which she talked about frequently.

However, we did go to the Lakefront Brewery for its Fish Fry. And we sat right in front of the polka band! We did go to the Botanical Garden, which we both enjoy. It's one of the few things we have in common. We like gardens. We both like looking at landscaping. She likes plants for their beauty. I like them for their Latin names. Quercus alba! We also had some great meals. Milwaukee did not let me down in the food department.

Hit the books

This week I started my evening class to prepare me as a teacher for Milwaukee Public Schools. My first homework assignment was due at 11:59 tonight. I submitted it at 11:49 - ten minutes to spare. This is not the best way to start a new career.

Beads

As a member of the Easttown Association, I received 3 free tickets to Milwaukee's Bead and Button show this weekend. Score! And I'm allowed to ask for more if I need them. I'm thinking about going just because it would make an interesting blog entry.

Grilling!

The last time Trevor invited me to grill there was snow on the ground. This time, there were thunderstorms overhead. Despite the rain and cold, we had a great time tonight. Christie summed up the experience well: "I was miserable, but I had a lot of fun." See the pictures below.

What do you think, Christie? Rain?

Funcionality before Fashion.

Christie: I can't tell which ones are the Boca Brats, because they're too charred. Sorry, Trevor. Great job grilling. I like them charred. They're good.

The realtor just left my apartment and Christie and I just signed our offer for a house that we want to buy. While we have only been going through this since Sunday, I feel that it has been a lifetime. I am so tired by all of the reading, and talking, and haggling. But I have a good feeling that I am going to become a homeowner. It feels weird to type that, let alone to actually know it.

The building is a duplex - two apartments with the same layout set on top of one another. There is an attic and a basement, both of which we would share. There is a two-door garage and a garden; grass to mow. There is a porch and a balcony. The building is old, more than 100 years. It has character. It also has hard wood floors, a claw-foot bathtub, and a shrubery.

The neighborhood is not the best. But it is certainly not the worst. Riverwest is the area of town where the hippies and the hipsters live. There may be more crime there than in the white picket fences neighborhood, but there's also a stronger neighborhood association, of which our realtor has already invited us to join. The Food Co-op is only two buildings away from the house. And there are two coffee shops within a block as well. We're a block from my favorite bus line - the same one that Christie takes to work. Oh, and there's a sex toy shop on the corner too.

My feelings are all over the board. I'm excited, but extremely nervous. I hope I did not make the wrong decision. I keep thinking of all that can go wrong. And I feel guilty when I catch myself thinking of all that can go right. But mostly I just feel tired.

Memorial Day Check List

• Eat frozen custard
• Yard Sales
• Run - twice
• Bike ride
• Finish Sophie's World after months of reading it
• Clean up the house - especially the bathroom
• View house to buy, meet with realtor, place offer on house
• Buy flights home to Pennsylvania
• Buy books
• Swim multiple laps
• Eat sushi
• Cheer for the Memorial Day Parade
  

One day, lad, all this will be yours!

PRINCE HERBERT:

What, the curtains?

FATHER:

No. Not the curtains, lad. All that you can see, stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This'll be your kingdom, lad.

- Monty Python and the Holy Grail


Tonight I am hanging curtains on the windows of my apartment. They look so much better than the blinds. But more importantly, now I can leave the windows open, and not wear pants!

Today, I learned a valuable lesson about tailgating the car in front of you on the highway. Don't do it. Because the driver may vomit out his window and splatter your car worse than a swarm of bugs. True story.

That sums up my day: vomit on the car and hanging curtains.

Prayer Rug

I received a Prayer Rug in the mail today. I didn't ask for it; someone sent it me. It's not really a rug. It's a large piece of paper that has been folded up. It has the design of a Persian rug, but then there's a large picture of Jesus in the middle of it. Jesus' eyes are drawn to be closed, but the directions with the rug say that if you look at them long enough they appear to open up. Then you are too kneel on the Prayer Rug (Prayer Sheet of Paper) and ask for what you need. You then write your prayer on the letter that came with the "rug" and send it to another person.

It's a little strange. The weirdest part is that I'm not sure who sent it to me. And I'm suspicious, but I can't find anywhere that I'm to send money. Currently the Prayer Rug is in my garbage. I feel a little strange about that, but I really don't want to hold onto it.

In other news, Tyler commented on the blog. He didn't say much, but it sure is nice to hear from him. I've been writing to him each week since he was sent to Iraq, but I have no idea when (or if) the letters reach him. I wonder if he got the porn I sent him. Maybe the censors "censored" it for themselves. Just kidding, Tyler. There's no porn coming your way from me. But, Adina - she might send you some.

Three paragraphs is all it took for me to get from "Prayer Rug" to "Pornography".

Go Brewers!

Milwaukee is very excited about the 2007 season. Check it out.

Crazy Legs

On Saturday morning, Christie, Trevor, and I drove out to Madison for the 8K Crazylegs Classic. It was an adventure. And even though the details on paper make it sound like a collection of misfortune, we had a great time. But I'm not sure if we'd do it again.

We began the day with some slightly stressful driving around the city as we realized that I had no idea where registration was. Go figure, I thought it would be somewhere near the starting line. Nope, about a mile away from the start. We made it to registration with about 15 minutes to spare. Luckily, we had 60 minutes between registration and the start.

The sun was out, and it looked to be a beautiful day for a run. We made our way to the capital, which was the starting point. No directing signage, so we ended up at the end of the last wave - of walkers. Even after our wave finally began running (35 minutes after the start of the race!), we had to get past all of the walkers and slow-poke runners. We started with about 20 runners behind us. That left about 14,980 in front of us. As Trevor pointed out, we spent the entire race passing people. Not one person passed us. (Except for when that girl dropped her phone and Christie accidentally kicked it while trying to pick it up.) We're not that fast. We were just placed at the back of the slow people.

Despite all of the people that we passed during the running, we apparently didn't get to the finish line early enough, because they RAN...OUT...OF...BEER! Come on! That's how I made it up the hill on Mile 2. I kept repeating, "beer (pant, pant) beer (pant pant) beer" on every step of my right foot. How can they run out? That's the most important part of the race - the rehydration. They don't run out of beer during the Beer Run of Riverwest, or of sausages during the Sausage Race of Miller Park. Unacceptable.

Well, with morale at a low (but not the lowest, that was yet to come), we made the long trek back to the car, which was at the registration area - nowhere near the finish line. Upon seeing the car I reached into my pocket for the car keys, and found out that they were no longer there. Perhaps I had given them back to Christie because it was her car? Nope. I dropped them. We did not panic, which greatly helped the situation. Sure, we were in a strange city, without any certainty of our exact location. Our cell phones - in the car. Our identification - in the car. Our money - in the car, except for a sweaty $15 in Trevor's shoe. We knew no phone numbers, nor anyone's address in the city. The best option was to take the walk back to the stadium and look for the keys. We were fortunate enough that it was still open though we had to ask the staff's permission to look around. Eventually, we went to the Lost and Found. And lo and behold, someone had turned in the keys! Yea! No call to a locksmith!

We went to a bar for a lunch of beer and burgers. I was introduced to Mac-n-cheese wedges. Who knew that one could deep-fry macaroni and cheese into a wedge shape? It was ok, but I'd prefer my mac-n-cheese in a spoon-friendly form.

Music Talk

While in Europe, Charley spent a good deal of time listening to his iPod. At one point he told me that he was listening to Mika, and he recommended that I should give him a try. I remembered this when I was in the music store the other day and noticed that Mika's album had recently come out. I bought it, never having heard a single song on the album.

Within the first few songs of the album, I realized that Life in Cartoon Motion would easily take the position of Gayest Album in my music collection. This, of course, upset those artists whose albums previously had held this position - namely Rufus Wainwright and the Scissor Sisters. While Rufus just had general feelings of hurt and confusion, the Sisters took a much more agressive approach when dealing with the interloper, Mika. I tried to capture their conversation, which includes comments from my other CDs, in the following lines:

Mika: Everybody's gonna love today! ...love me.

RW: (to Donny) [But] I'm only the one you love.

SS: I don't feel like dancin' no sir, no dancin' today.

RW: I don't know what I'm doing / I don't know what I'm saying...

Mika: [Maybe you're] Suckin' too hard on your lollipop. Love's gonna let you down.

SS: ...you're filthy / Oooh, and I'm gorgeous.

Ray Lamontagne, concerned that neither side was listening to the other foresaw problems.
Ray: Trouble. Oh, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble.

Corinne Bailey Rae, the other newcomer to the group threw her support behind Mika, and so did the soundtrack of Wicked.
Corinne: Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song.
Wicked: Popular. I'll help you be popular!

Some other albums were against Mika, however.
Thriller: They're out to get you, better leave while you can. Beat it. Just beat it.
Dixie Chicks: I'm not ready to make nice / I'm not ready to back down.

Poor Rufus pressured me to make a decision.
RW: I don't know what it is, But you got to do it...

Luckily though, someone stepped in and silenced everyone.
Black Eyed Peas: Shut up, just shut up, shut up. Shut up, just shut up, shut up.

And until someone stops me, I will continue to listen to any of my CDs as frequently as I wish.

Donny at a Crossroads

Some day I may look back at this week and think, "Yes, that was when everything changed." It's not often that someone realizes he's in the middle of a turning point. It's difficult to recognize the change of the tide. There's too much movement of the waves to notice that the entire body has changed directions.

Of course, my actions this week have been quite deliberate. I'm not being swept away, but choosing my own path.

• This morning I took the PRAXIS I exam. This is the first test needed to become a certified teacher. Last week, I submitted my application to MTEC, a program in the Milwaukee Public Schools, for people of other careers to become teachers. I am giving it a try, because my current career is not right for me. The money is great, but I want fulfillment. If things go as planned I will be teaching math in a high school classroom come September.
• This weekend I led my church's committee in hiring our permanent pastor, who will start in July. My church is going through some rough times, but the pastor will bring an extensive skill-set. She will either turn us around from our struggling financial situation, or drain our savings and cause us to have to close our doors for good. As the chairman of the Staffing Committee, I am in the position to receive the praise or blame for how the appointment plays out.
• I received a call from military this week, as they are doing a background check on Ray. They had many questions, and I managed to know many of the answers. How many of you can remember your dorm room numbers or even your addresses from 7 years ago? I have talked to Ray a few times on the phone now since he got out of basic training. He sounds happy. I hope he is.
• On Saturday night, Christie, Trevor, and I went to a pre-developed housing development outside of the city to watch the stars. The neighborhood we visited only has paved roads and water hook-ups. The land is flat so that we are able to see the stars close to the horizon. We had a nice talk, and I appreciated my friends - even if they have strange senses of humor.

I have been watching the PBS documentaries America at a Crossroads. If you can catch an episode this week, I highly recommend it. The program is about post 9/11 America and the difficulties that we face. One episode I watched focused on Jihad and the people who join it. I don't think I learned anything new, but it was good to see everything told in a narrative and for the pieces to be placed together. Another episode I watched was called "Writing the Wartime." It took the writings of soldiers and made a documentary of it. There were poems, narratives, and essays. It was very moving.

Oops

I'm at the library studying for my next exam. However, I now realize that I have forgotten to register for my exam. Fantastic.

When Fantasy Congress Become Real

Today I met Congresswoman Gwen Moore, the representative from my district in the House. She was our guest speaker at church. After the service I introduced myself to her. For lack of a better conversation topic, I told her that I have her picked in my fantasy congress league and that I would appreciate it if she would be as active as possible because that would help my score. I explained to her that I get points for all sorts of activity from the passing of her sponsored legislation to just showing up for roll call. I don't think she knew what I was talking about but she did tell me that her aides have mentioned "fantasy congress" before. Perhaps she'll look into it.

I think that I should receive some sort of credit in the league for actually having met someone on my team.

Wisconsin seasons

Spring officially begins in 2 days, but we couldn't wait any longer. Today we broke out the Weber grill to cook our dinner. Trevor invited Christie, Jon, and me to his apartment for hamburgers and fries. We brought chicken, potato salad, asparagus, and guacamole. We brought too much food, which is what normally happens. And what's worse is that grilled food usually doesn't keep too well in the fridge.

Trevor's neighbors gave us some funny looks as they walked by in their parkas and scarves. Our hands were cold on the beer bottles, but we just moved our chairs closer to the grill for warmth. Jon and Christie argued over who got to sit in the way of the smoke - both of them wanted it.

I can't decide what was my favorite quotation of the night. The contenders are the following.

1. Jon: "The last time I was home, my dad made me watch The Devil Wears Prada. He really likes the fashion industry."

Or

2. Christie, as we sit around the grill: "Well, it looks like most of the snow in your front lawn is melted."

Europe by the Numbers

Ten…completed postcards that I left at the breakfast table in Brugge, Belgium. Because they are stamped, I hope someone will drop them in a mailbox and not the garbage.

Nine…H & M stores. Two in Paris, two in Brugge, and five in Amsterdam!

Eight… supporting characters in the story:

1. Ida, our gracious Parisian hostesss
2. Simon, our trusty Belgian guide
3. Valerie, our trusty Belgian guide’s sidekick (and fiancée)
4. “The Waitress Who Cared” (and who told Felecia that she cannot eat the pita with her meal)
5. Our smelly Flying Pig hostel roommate
6. Arnold, the Friendly Frenchman, who dreams of visiting Alabama
7. Charley’s flirtatious reflection
8. The dog at the hostel who likes gloves.

Seven...pigeons that landed on Charley at one time to eat from his hand.

Six…days’ worth of pictures that I deleted from my camera.

Five…cigarettes bummed from strangers

Four…countries visited in one week: Germany, France, Belgium, and the Netherlands (a.k.a. Holland – who knew!)

Three…traveling companions: Felecia, Charley, and me. Decisions never required a tie-breaker.

Two…musicals, from which we sang a good number of their songs: Wicked – “You’re gonna be popular” and Pete’s Dragon – “It’s a Brazzle Dazzle Day”

One…exhausting week.

Ash Wednesday

The Latin phrase, "Memento homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris." means "Remember human, that you are dust, and you will return to dust." It's a phrase inspired by Biblical passages and often used during Ash Wednesday services. Contrary to others' ideas, it does not mean, "Eat steak, die happy."

Missed Bops

The Ditty Bops are coming back to Milwaukee, and they'll be playing at Shank Hall, which is three blocks from my apartment. But, alas, I will be in Europe.

Oh yeah - I'm going to Europe - in three weeks. With Felecia and Charley. We're taking it by storm. Flight into Frankfurt, train to Paris, stay there for 3 nights. Travel to Belgium, stay there one night. Train to Amsterdam, enjoy the local culture, stay a night or two and then make our way back to Frankfurt for our flight back.

Things I have learned from the Anna Nicole Smith Media Coverage

1. Zsa Zsa Gabor is still alive.

2. Virility Points earned by fathering a child with a former Playboy Playmate are easily lost when the paternity is questioned by, among others, a dead 90 year-old.

3. White men also take royalty as their first names.

4. Giving a baby two names, but melding them together only makes them difficult to pronounce. "Dannielynn." Is it Dannielle Lynn, Dannie Lynn, Dannielle In, or something completely different?

5. I continue to love NPR, who have not yet done a story on this.

Fourteen

I can't believe 14 degrees feels so warm.

Long John

The thermometer in my apartment says 65 degrees - Fahrenheit. I cooked dinner tonight, just to have an excuse to turn on the stove. Now I'm going to iron my clothes - again.

I wore my long underwear to work today. I only have one pair. Would it be that terrible to wear them two days in a row?

You spin me right round, baby.

I wish I had a good story about my recent Spinning exploits along the lines of the very funny "Crotch Machine of Death" story from Adina. But I don't.

My story is that normally I am in the pool, swimming 50 laps, every day by 6:30 am. However, for the past two weeks, I have been going to the 6 a.m. Spinning class on Thursday mornings. Terra, the instructor is very friendly and fit. She gets us moving slowly, but I'm a sweaty mess by the end of the class. I don't fall off the machine, and I don't make any embarrassing sounds when we "go up another hill." Even though I do want to ask her why we never just "coast down a hill." That's my favorite part of a bike ride and, I think, if we're simulating a real ride, every part should be represented.

Joining the spinning class has shown me how much of a regular I have become at the gym though. The first time I took the class I was surprised at how many people noticed that I had missed my regular swim. And one guy, who has never talked to me previously, asked me for my opinion of the class. He had been nervous about joining it and wanted to know what it's like for a beginner. I didn't mind answering his questions, because he was wearing clothes, which is more than what can be said about other chatty guys in the locker room.

How can I make it known that I only want to talk to other guys if we are both wearing pants? And why do I seem to be one of the few people who feel this way!?

Stay tuned for a future post, in which I will tell you about my Pilates class.

The Reign of Bob is Over

I have a new People Manager. The reign of Bob is over. Not that he did much reigning anyway. He was usually too busy to have significant meetings with me. And I don't particularly like him, so I never went out of my way to make those meetings any more pleasant or frequent. It's somewhat unfair of me not to like Bob. He's a nice guy, and I don't have any serious professional complaints about him. Most of my complaints go away after an afternoon of grumbling and perhaps a beer. I just don't like him. Personally. So, I can't complain about him, or even request a new manager, because I don't have a particularly rational reason for him not to be my boss. I just don't like him.

My new People Manager, on the other hand, is Jason, someone I consider to be a good friend of mine at work. He is only a couple of years older than I am and was recently promoted to "consultant". We work together all the time, but we're usually goofing off. One of our current projects is to perfect the "walk and talk" a la Aaron Sorkin as we go down the hall to pick up our print jobs. (Yes, this is the pinnacle of excitement for an actuary.) We gossip about our coworkers, and often share information that few other people know. I was going to tell him that I am looking for another job, but now I don't know if I can do that. He's my manager now, and that has thrown our whole relationship out of whack.

I sort of mentioned this concern to him by asking him if we can still go to baseball games together. (Because I would certainly not have gone with Bob. Poor Bob used to offer to take me out for lunch for my "review" and I would suggest we stay in the office instead.) Jason had a good response, though. He said, "Of course, we can. But now we get to bill it to a code."

I am being selfish in my concern over the change in my relationship with a friend. This is a good opportunity for Jason, who needs the chance to try various roles in the office. This is also great for the junior associates, who now have a manager closer to their level and easier to approach. I should look forward to the changes.

I love my bank

Today they sent me a free coupon to reverse one overdraft charge that I may incure in the next year. Isn't that great? My last bank charged me $140 in overdraft charges before they let me know that my paycheck required a 5 day waiting period before it cleared. But my new bank sends me sweet coupons of love.

In addition, my bank is easily accessed in my grocery store on every day of the week and into the early evenings. The interest rates are quite high despite the smaller savings amounts of a twenty-something. And the staff is very friendly: even beginning to recognize me. Sometimes they are a little too friendly, such as the new bank teller, who this weekend asked me if my savings account is a money market because I "have a lot of money in there." I remained polite, but I wanted to correct her because: 1) It really isn't "a lot" of money. It's enough to get me by if my car dies or if I quit my job for a few months. 2) Don't say stuff like that outloud.

Also, a local bar recently charged $60 to my debit card even though I only spent $20. They have not yet responded to my voice messages or e-mail. It's the type of bar that is only open after 9 on weekends, so I haven't actually gone there in person. I lost my receipt, but I know my bill was $20, because that's the minimum charge and I only had one drink. (I thought I was mad about the $20, but the $60 made me angrier than when I see grocery stores using apostrophes in their produce signs. e.g. Apple's and Banana's) However, my bank told me not to worry. They suggested I approach the bar once more, and if the management doesn't check their records, we can just fill out an affidavit. Easy as pie.

Work update

Three of my coworkers (or their wives) are now expecting babies. That's 10% of my office will be having babies within the next nine months. And the woman next to me said something along the lines of "And I think there will be more." in a way that made me feel that she knows something I don't.

A few months ago my firm did away with in-house IT support. Brilliant! Now when we have a problem we simply call the "help desk," which is neither helpful nor a desk. It is group of very friendly Indians in Mumbai who are happy to use every courteous remark that has ever been coined in the English language. They are quick with my ticket number (in the case that I need to call back later) and the suggestion that I restart my computer.

Last week, two of the office computers broke. One due to a juice spill and the other just because laptops are finicky. We have an extra "loaner" computer, however, it took a day for the "Help Desk" to figure out how to get it working. Then it took another two days for another loaner to make its way to our office from Chicago. This is not because the loaner laptop walked to Milwaukee - it just took that long for the "Help Desk" to realize that they cannot fix the broken computers over the phone. One of the guys affected bills his time at $390 / hour. He spent four days trying to get a computer. Missing eight hours of work each day cost the firm $12,480. That's incredible. Maybe I don't understand the cost-effectiveness because I'm not a partner.

Today we had another mishap concerning our computers. The office network was "down" - probably due to not enough memory. I learned today that our main drive only has 19 gigabytes of memory. That's crazy. We decided, during the four hours it took the "Help Desk" to fix the problem, that we would all open gmail accounts and begin saving our work there.

2006 - Year in Review!

January
came in with bang and a Gentle Hand. BONYE was a hit and soon to be a tradition. Within the first hours of the New Year, Felecia rejected my (drunken) marriage proposal and I decided that 2006 would not be the year for love.
Got lost on my first trip to Milwaukee's NAACP. Asked for directions at the King library, but the only person who could help me was the other white person. What gives?
Visited KT in DC. Began thinking about moving and finding a new job.

February
was wicked cold and I spent a good deal of time inside. Saw Prairie Home Companion in Milwaukee and Wicked in Chicago. Managed to not sing along to either show.
No snow.

March
began with my first retreat at my new church. Afterwards I felt much more a part of the congregation.
With my new Milwaukee coterie, I saw quite a few concerts - David Gray, Aqualung, Nickel Creek, Ditty Bops, and the 5 Browns.
Played tennis for the first time this season. Made plans to play often.
Played tennis for the last time this season.

April
was very busy in the office. And I kicked up my studying campaign for the May exam.
Tap Danced my way through every Thursday night.
Golf lessons on Saturday mornings.
Not selected for jury duty.
Saw my most wide-spread, "acceptable" public drunkness ever, at Brewers Opening Day.

May
Exam! But very busy at work. Did not study nearly enough, and expected not to pass.
Went home for my great aunt and uncle's 60th wedding anniversary. Danced and drank with the family.
Visited Minneapolis with Christie and Jake. Considered moving there.

June
started with Riversplash, the official kick-off of the summer festival series of Milwaukee. This was my third attendance at Riversplash, but this time I had friends who went with me! Sang along with Milwaukee classics such as "Sex and Beer" and "Tonight (I'm Gonna Ruin my Life)."
Met the intern. Was the first person in my office to tell him, "Shut up" and "You don't know what you're talking about."
Bed bugs moved into our apartment. Jake moved out.
Still believed in the Brewers.

July
brought the end of the strawberry season. I made jam.
Rush tribute band!
Exam results came back positive. Yea! I'm a third level actuary and can now learn stronger spells to fight the orcs.
Beat all four sausages in the 5K Sausage Run.

August
J and Lindsay visit Milwaukee. Watch sows give birth at the State Fair. The piano-player hits on Christie at the dueling piano bar. She doesn't discourage him. We toast "to bad decisions".
New apartment. No bed bugs!
Attend a coworker's pool party. Leave before the naked chicken fights.

September
Visit Las Vegas and Los Angeles. See Tom and Ray and Cory. Miss my friends and wish that they still lived in the room next door.
Puked on a plane. Twice.

October
Study, Study, Study.
Weekly parties, but I behaved.
Organized my office to volunteer at a local soup kitchen. We served 300+ dinners. Learned good things about my coworkers.
Aunt Virginia died (not unexpectedly), but I was reminded of the worst part of living so far away from home.

November
hosted another actuarial exam. I smuggled my answers out of the room and when compared them to the posted solution, reasoned that I probably did not pass.
Julie still in town.
Aunt Sharon died. Her local newspaper allows people to leave messages under her obituary online. As a teacher (of Latin!) magistra, she had many messages from previous and current students. This made me reevaluate my current career path.
Dan Goldin Day brings about new traditions such as being turned away at the door of the brewery tour and making cool new friends. This year was Adrienne and Trevor.
Hosted a chili dinner for the young adults at the church. Realize that there are some other young adults at the church!

December
began with a big snowstorm. Company holiday party was a blast. Because I could walk to it, I definitely had the most to drink. Luckily I was also the photographer, so there aren't many pictures to commemorate my shenanigans.
Attended my first baby shower.
Visited PA for Chirstmas.
Prepared for PhilONYE.

I hear a symphony

Dreamgirls is not about the Supremes. It's a Supreme-like story, but it's not the Supremes. It's a good movie, but it's not what I expected.

I've been singing "I hear a Symphony" (albeit with the wrong words) in anticipation of the movie all day. And I was wrong.

Charlotte's Web is still about a pig, right?

A Secret about Santa Claus

I may be late discovering this, but this will be a new favorite Christmas song for me. I can't wait to go caroling next year.

Homeward Bound

I was just washing my dishes and out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of light outside. I turned to look, but nothing was there. I was a little confused, and honestly the crazy part of my mind thought that it could have been supernatural. However, then I heard the thunder and realized that it was just lightning. December - and we're having a thunderstorm. We're in Wisconsin; this should be snow.

Now I wait for the airport van and watch the rain. And listen to a John Denver/Muppet Christmas album.

Craig's List Missed Connections

Today I was skimming the Milwaukee Missed Connections on Craig's List to see if I had caught anyone's attention as I went about my business this weekend. I expected something along the lines of "hot moustache on cold ice - let's meet" or "hey lonely guy in the cancelled yoga class - you can't read signs, but maybe someone will tell you about this posting", but I found nothing directed to me.

However, I did find a missed connection that matched my friend, Sarah, perfectly. This wasn't a typical MC description with universal (i.e. "you were wearing pants and paying with a credit card") and or vague (i.e. "your(sic) hot - you know who I am") details. Instead the description had the class that they shared and the restaurant that she waitressed in. And it had her name! Of course, these details could also classify the guy as a stalker, but "hope springs eternal within the human gonads". (Edward Abbey)

I hope Sarah contacts him.

Soup-Strainer

I have little time left in Milwaukee before I head back to the commonwealth. I have plenty to do before then - projects at work, clean around the apartment, update computer issues, meet with church people, etc. But what am I doing instead? Looking for jobs online. And freecell.

This morning I went to a yoga class for the second time at 6 am! And this morning, the class was cancelled for the second time at 6 am! However, now I know that the class has been cancelled for good, so I won't be trying that again. I was moved to try yoga after my recent snowboarding adventure, when I realized how poorly I balance and how much flexibility I've lost since my boxing/tap-dancing days. I'm still swimming more than a mile each day, but that rarely requires me to touch my toes. So, it seems that I will need to find some other means of expanding my exercising.


Somehow I fit about 20 people into my apartment this weekend for my moustache and ice skating potluck - more commonly referred to as the "What would Brian Boitano Do? Party." Kudos to Linda who decorated her cake with a moustache made out of icing.

The weather was warm, but the ice was cold enough to skate. None of my BU friends were in attendance, so we didn't have any trips to the emergency room. (I mean you, Jackie.) Unfortunately, all of our "action" shots on the ice are too dark to justify uploading them. However, you're not missing much - "action" for us means blurry images of flailing people on ice.

Moustache Friday!

Stay tuned for pictures!

A Neighborhood Tour

This past Saturday I walked around my neighborhood and took some pictures to show you, dear readers, what my home is like. Mostly they are pictures of the nearby statues, because I think they are funny, and sometimes poignant. Also note that the snow in the pictures is from our first big storm, which was on Friday.

This first picture is the Milwaukee Art Museum. The building is a work of art too. The "bird" is looking out over Lake Michigan, and the wings come down whenever the museum is closed or during bad weather.


There are four statues near my apartment. This first is Abe Lincoln, which isn't very out-of-the-ordinary. I would expect most major cities have a statue of Abe.

The next statue is of Solomon Juneau, one of the three founders of Milwaukee. I used to live on Juneau Street. I only know about Mr. Juneau because the Milwaukee Ale House brews beers named after the founders and I often read the coasters.
The third statue is Leif Erikson. This is the closest statue to my apartment, and I see it often. His metal breastplate reminds me of Madonna. I bet people used to tell him that all of the time.

The last statue is Robert Burns. This one confuses me the most. What is a statue of a Scottish poet doing in Milwaukee? And more importantly, who paid for this? How did Robert Burns beat out...well, I can't think of any famous Milwaukeeans except for Laverne, Shirley, and Golda Meir.Ok, one more statue. And this one is more temporary than the others, but just as inspiring.

Seriously though...

...who hasn't gone to a company holiday party and then couldn't remember what happened the following day?

Left Hand Yellow!

I forgot to add this picture from a Halloween party that I attended.

Coffee Hour

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Holiday...it would be so nice.

Tomorrow night is my third holiday party. The past two years the parties were held at a hotel 50 minutes from downtown. It was tres chic and a good deal of fun, but it was quite a drive. This year, the party will be held in a restaurant two blocks from the office. This means that I can walk there and stumble home at the end of the night. And instead of drink tickets...open bar! Just in case, I'll be bringing my flask.

I haven't been to an office party yet that didn't provide gossip afterwards - usually alcohol and/or sex related gossip. Hopefully this year will be no different. Already we have drama. The members of the fun committee have been bickering about the details of the party and one of them has decided not to attend in protest. Yeah, the Fun Committee. Its name just screams irony, doesn't it?

Bananas!

The Messiah has arrived in Milwaukee, and of course, I mean Whole Foods. It's interesting to see how people react to the supermarket. Some seem to feel the satisfaction that Milwaukee is now respected enough to be graced by the Whole Foods chain. Some people are upset that another corporation is going to stamp out the local "alternative" grocery stores. And then there's another group of people that don't seem to care. I fit in the third group.

I stayed away for a month or so to let the crowds lessen, but eventually I realized that I had to make the trip just to keep up with pop Milwaukee-culture. After dinner one evening I decided to walk to Whole Foods, which is a 20-25 minute walk. I needed bananas and I was open to buying something else if it caught my eye - maybe some ketchup. Haha, who am I kidding? It's all the preservatives in ketchup that make it good.

Anyway, I felt strange in Whole Foods. But it wasn't the store that made me feel strange; it was the other people. They seemed to be there for a reason besides grocery-shopping. I think they wanted to prove that they are beyond traditional supermarkets. They care about the hormones pumped into the cows, from which they get their milk. They want to recognize the ingredients of the orange dye applied to the organic cheese puffs. The don't want to eat gluten! But I think they also want to show that they can afford it.

I've found a way to give my grandmother a heart attack. Show her the price of organic bananas. And then tell her that I paid that price. And threw one of them away when it had too many bruises. She doesn't even know that "organic" is pretty meaningless when it comes to bananas too. She would, however, be pleased that I received a 10 cents credit for bringing my own bags.

The upside of the Whole Foods arrival, though, is that it has started a dialogue regarding our food sources. I have decided to switch to organic milk. I did a paper in college on female hormones. During my research I was surprised to learn how much estrogen et al. is used in the dairy industry and then passed into the environment, usually in the water systems. It has a big impact on fish populations, but I forget exactly how. I'm also considering joining a CSA, community supported agriculture. By joining, I'll receive a weekly CSA box, filled with vegetables from a local farm! Some of the vegetables I'd be unfamiliar with, but I've always felt that I need more chard in my life.

I wonder how it explains the pro-life stance.

Why Mommy is a Democrat

Christmas has arrived in Milwaukee

I wish someone had told me that the Christmas parade would be passing in front of my apartment on Sunday morning. There's nothing quite like being woken up by a marching band - especially on the morning after Dan Goldin Day.

I was also shocked when I looked out of my window to see the big red dog, in helium form, floating down the street. Who knew that Milwaukee had the budget for that much helium?

Dan Goldin Day IV

So, another Dan Goldin Day has come and gone. And it seems that we have a new tradition.

For the past two years, DGD has included a trip to the local brewery. And for the past two years, we have been turned away at the door because the tour has been sold out. We even showed up 60 minutes early this year! We were there before the earlier tour had even left, and it was already sold out. So, in the same fashion as last year, we got a couple pitchers of beer and enjoyed the fish fry and live polka band.

We had to sit at two separate tables because our group was so large! Thirteen people showed up for DGD - Milwaukee. It was a proud day. We hope that another Dan Goldin Day tradition will be to meet new people. DGD 2005 saw two great additions to our circle of friends, and hopefully 2006 will not be different. Christie and I brought some of our new coworkers, and they got into the DGD spirit. I sensed no eye-rolling or shocked disapproval at any of our shenanigans so maybe they'll come out with us again. Only time will tell.

Course C

I'm not feeling too good about my exam, which is tomorrow morning. Even now, I don't feel like studying, because I'm worried that it'll just make me realize all that I still don't know. I've been concentrating on categories that are always on the exam. My game plan is to go straight for them and cut my losses on the things I don't know. I'm usually a good test-taker so hopefully that will help separate me from the riff-raff. The exam is always graded on a curve. Thirty-five problems in 4 hours, and a good number of them will take more than 10 minutes each to complete.

I'm not sure of the passing rate of this exam but it has to be better than the rate of the previous one. Hopefully it'll be around 40%. I think I can handle that.

update

I still don't have internet in my apartment. I've signed up for it, I'm paying for it, but it's not working. And I am tired of calling the help desk and taking the various boxes back to the computer store. First my router was a problem. Then the wireless router was the problem. Now it just seems that my computer is the problem - though it's working fine here in the library. I wish I had computer-literate friends who lived nearby.

I'm thinking about asking my office's ex-IT guy to look at my network connections for me. Perhaps I'll cook him dinner in exchange for his computer wizardry. Who wouldn't exchange a few hours of work for meatloaf.

I wore a tie to work today and received comments from all but two of the coworkers who saw me. I bet I won't get that many comments when I wear my mullet wig all day Thursday in preparation of our Halloween Party. It's strange that the mullet wig is more acceptable in my office than a tie. But it is a very nice tie.

Party like an actuary.

I went to a coworker's party last night.


Schedule of Events:

8:30 pm Arrive, survey food and drink.

9:30 pm Rubik's cubes

11:00 pm Dirty Mad Libs

1:30 am Keg Stands

V

My (great) Aunt Virginia died this weekend, and I don't feel particularly sad, because I think she did not like the way she had been living for the past several months. She was a smart, snappy lady for 80+ years and bingo and a nursing home just aren't her style. I'm not sure if I should go home for the funeral. I would be going more for my family than for myself or her.

Updates

• I woke up to find a container of cottage cheese outside of my apartment this morning.
• I still have 80 hours of study time to take in the next 20 work days before my next exam.
• I finally hung up the pictures in my apartment. And I bought a desk. But I still haven't hooked up the internet yet. I called the help desk, but they weren't too helpful.
• I raised $200+ for the CROP walk today. But I still didn't get anyone from my church to walk with me.
• Kat's engaged.
• I received an angry letter from my high school Latin teacher telling me to stop organizing letter campaigns asking her to run for school board.
• The mayor of Milwaukee sent me a letter thanking me for the letter I sent him regarding air pollution in Milwaukee. I sent no such letter. But I don't think he actually cares.

Quote of the LA Trip

Setting: Cory's apartment, football playing on the television.

Ray: Do you mind if I take off my pants?

Los Angeles

My trip to Los Angeles last week was a blast. I met Tom there and we visited Ray, Cory, and Las Vegas. Instead of typing through all the events that happened, I'll just highlight with pictures.

Day 1:
Tom and I arrived within minutes of each other at LAX. Ray picked us up. We stopped briefly at his father's house before heading to Las Vegas. He said that he needed to pick some stuff up, but really I think he wanted to show us his gun collection.

Day 2:
The two nights in Vegas are a blur. I think the individual highlights though are:

1. Donny won $300 on slots.
2. Ray had a duet with Celine.
3. Tom ran the buffet's dessert gamut.
And the Star Wars penny slots.
Day 3:
We drove back to LA and had to leave behind the buffets.
A notable conversation from the carride:

Ray: You have to try soju while you're in Cali.
Donny: I've had soju before.
R: When did you have soju?
D: I had a Korean roommate in college.
R: Who? Michael?
D: No, you.



Day 4:
We spent the day with Cory. We ate at El Taurino for lunch and I learned how little Spanish I actually retained from high school.
We visited the Getty Center and had a "very significant" discussion on "multiples of 30 and parts of 30." We measured the Getty with dollar bills.

Dinner was at a Koream bar-b-que, where we paid to cook our own dinner.
Cory tried to learn how to order so that he could come back later and impress his girlfriend, but he couldn't even figure out how to read the menu. "The menu doesn't even list 'all-you-can-eat' meat bar-b-que. How do you know it's there?" Ray replied, "It's listed on the cover, but only in Korean."The Dodgers game was fun except for the Dodgers (who lost miserably)
and the fan who fell asleep during the game (Note Ray in the back).
Day 5 & 6:
These days were a mess of watching TV and just hanging out. We went to a farmer's market. We ate more Mexican. We went to the beach and saw an old man performing Achey Breaky Heart. I threw up on an airplane.

Great trip...except for the vomit.

Pomes!

On Saturday night we did not hold Pear-a-palooza as we had originally intended. Instead I won tickets to the Mindy Smith concert from a radio station. The concert was good, but I'm not sure if it was just good because the tickets were free. It certainly was no Ditty Bop concert. But really, what is?

Work sucks

And I don't want to do this anymore.

That's all I had written and then decided that maybe I should expand on that idea. I'm still here at 10 pm. I'm nowhere near complete on the multitude of projects I should be finishing. My coworkers don't seem to care because they have too much work too. I suppose feast is better than famine, but I need a break now and then. I suppose next week will be a nice vacation when I go to LA to visit Ray and Cory with Tom.

coffee

I go to coffee shops pretty frequently to study. I don't like coffee. And I don't like tea. However, I do like chai and that's the only thing I order. ever. When I get to the counter to make my order, though, I always take time to look over the menu. I know what I'm going to order before I enter the door, but I like to keep up the appearance that I'm a sophosticated coffee-drinker that needs to determine which direction my tastes will take me that day.

Library update

Quick update from the library: My move is still underway. All of my stuff is in the new place, but I'm still calling about hooking up the phone, electricity, etc. And now I need parking. Who knew that moving 3 blocks would be so time-consuming.

I have taken pictures with my new camera. I'm excited to learn how to upload them here.

Moving

I picked up the keys to my new apartment today. I have made absolutely no plans for my move. I don't have a truck. I have asked none of my friends for help. I may be in trouble.

All this and a Bag of Chips

My bag of potato chips (new open pit bar-b-q flavored) is set to expire in mid-November - on my birthday. Maybe I should serve them at a birthday party. I thought my birthday was a long time away, but the bag of chips puts time into perspective. There are a good number of things that are planned to happen in the next three months. There will be many occasions to serve those chips.

I can serve them at my housewarming party when I move into my new apartment. Or at Jake’s going-away party when he officially moves to Madison for school. Or Christie’s moving party. Or Katie, or Justin, or Mick. Everybody’s moving.

I could bring them with me when Tom and I visit Raymond in LA. We could eat them on our drive to Vegas. Or I could take them with me for my seminar in Chicago, which is conveniently planned for the same weekend that Adina will be in Chicago for work. (If I could make a guilty-looking, drunken emoticon, I would place it right there) As long as potato chips have not been used in a terrorist plot, I could also take them with me on my trip back to PA, which I hope to make in the fall.

I could use them as a study break as I prepare for my early November exam. Or they could also be served at a celebration after the exam. They could be a late night snack as I plan to work a lot of hours in the next few months. (Did you hear about the Pension Protection Act? It’s very exciting. All of the funding rules are changing. Actuaries across the country are giddy with anticipation.) But I should definitely not eat them before running, as I am also preparing for an 8K run that will be in a few weeks.

In the back of my mind, I am also thinking about all of the things that start up again in September. I want to take Stained Glass again this summer and a few gym classes as well. I’ve already ordered season tickets for the Milwaukee Symphony and there are some shows coming to town that I want to see also. Too many things to do. Maybe I should quit my job and make some time?

My parents visited Chicago

On the phone

Me: Hey, Mom. I'm leaving Milwaukee now. I'll be at your hotel in about an hour and a half.
Mom: What? I thought you were only 90 minutes away?
Me: (long pause)
Mom: Oh. Right. They're the same thing.

Exam

I passed the actuarial exam that I took back in May. Last night my company took us out for dinner to celebrate. We went to a Brazilian Steakhouse. It was the first time that I've ever been to one, and it was quite the treat. The idea is that the wait staff carries around meat on sword that has been slow cooking all day. Every person has a coaster next to his/her seat and as long as the coaster is green-side up, the waiters stop by and cut you a piece of meat. And the waiters are just waiters - they're Brazilian cowboys! Well, they're dressed like Gauchos at least. But I'm pretty sure some of them were Mexican, Eastern European, and Asian. They wore Brazilian boots though.

I haven't eaten as much meat as I ate last night since 2003. And I mean all of 2003. I felt sick after only two rounds of meat helpings. I hadn't even eaten any meat since Saturday. My coworkers though are real troopers. They kept eating up until the 5th or 6th round. Of course, it helped that we were all guys. Gluttony seems to increase when eating becomes a competition. And alcohol helps too. The wine-drinking partner came to dinner with us and he always manages to order some pretty pricey wines. I told him that I'd be fine with just a cheap "shir-azz". But he corrected my pronounciation and continued to order me some fancy cabernet.

Today my coworkers talked about last night as if we had been binge-drinking. Statements like "I can't eat like I could when I was in college." or "I don't know how I drove home in that state last night." were common.

Nice melons.

Friday night is Singles Night at my supermarket. How many crude produce jokes can one make? We easily came up with one for most fruits, vegetables, and dairy products. And we didn't even begin to think about the processed meat section. Which aisle is the best for picking up someone? How's this line: "You like cereal? Really? Me, too."

Milk

This weekend I learned that if one drops a gallon of milk on a hard surface, like a supermarket floor, from a distance that's equal to one's hand to the floor, the plastic container rips at the seams and milk splatters all over. True story.

And I went to the Wisco. State Fair and watched birthing pigs. Piglets are not cute at 3 minutes old.

Sunday update

I can't believe how many conversations I've had this week about weddings, showers, and/or babies. I feel left out. Not because I'm desparately seeking a wife or babies, because I'm not. And not because I'm not playing a role in the conversations, because I force my way into most discussions and I am interested in what my friends are doing. I just feel like the oddball. It seems that everyone I talk to is settled into their lives. I should pull an Amy Sedaris and create a fake fiance.

Jake's out of town. This is good, because the weather is hot and humid and I'm spending most of my time at home in my underwear. I've become Raymond.

Running with the Weiners

Christie and I rocked the 5K Sausage Run at Miller Park this morning. Despite the beating sun and the Racing Sausages nipping at our heels, we crossed the finish line under 27 minutes. That's two minutes faster than my time last year. Also, I beat all 4 sausages! Last year, I only beat two of them. The new Chorizo did not make an appearance this morning, but I think he'll be at tonight's game. We may be losing Carlos Lee, but we're getting a new Sausage. The new Chorizo's "skin tone" will be darker and more appropriately represent the spicy sausage's color. He'll be wearing a sombrero.

Oh, Milwaukee. Pomplona's got nothing on you.

Ouch!

The subtitle to this post is “She’s more than just the woman who rips the hair out of my back – she’s also my friend.”

Last week Adina made a comment that I have a big secret and that I would have to post it within a week or she would disclose it to all. I don’t think it’s really a secret though, because anyone that has seen me swimming in the past week, would see clearly that I no longer have hair on my back. I had it waxed.

A few weeks ago I won a gift certificate for a local hair salon. Because Katie had given me a buzz cut a day earlier (with her Barber in a Box) I looked at the other services that the salon offered. I narrowed my options to a pedicure or a waxing. My choice was a pleasant afternoon that would fade quickly or a tortuous afternoon with pleasant effects that would last a few weeks. I went with the torture.

The waxer, Kim, was super friendly. She sensed my anxiety over the phone and reassured me that she was not an ogre that would jump on me like they do on TV. I have never seen this on TV and prior to my conversation with Kim I had not had this fear, but now I did. My original fear was that deep down (read: shallow as a puddle) I would wimp out halfway through the ordeal and leave with a strip of paper stuck to my back. I expected to learn a good deal about myself during this.

However, my experience was very good. Except for the systematic pulling of hair (and what felt like skin), it was very relaxing. The rooms lighting was dim and Kim played soothing New Age music. The wax smelled like honey. And the conversation was great.

Kim and I talked about Milwaukee and work – hers and mine. We talked about our families and our religions. And then we talked about books. Recently it seems as if I have been hitting the chick-lit a little stronger than usual. Also, Oprah has been selecting some of my favorites for her book club, so we had those titles in common too. By the end we were writing down titles and authors for each other. She also told me that if she couldn’t find my suggestion, she would call my house.

I had originally planned to not tell anyone about my adventure in aesthetics, but then realized that because of my swimming tendency, it would be obvious that something had happened. I told my friends, and it’s a good thing that I did because when we went to the French festival, Bastille Days, we had the contest of who sees someone that they know first. I won; I saw Kim.

Home, sweet, home

Within ten minutes of arriving at my parents' house in Moscow, I overheard the following conversation: Dad (on the phone with Mom's brother): Hey, if you don't have plans for Friday, want to go out for lunch with me and Donny? Donny's paying. It's my birthday. (pause) Yeah, see if your father wants to come too. (pause) That sounds great. See you then. This was the first that I had heard of these plans.

Philadelphia

I have been very busy lately and have so much material to post about. I'm currently in Philadelphia for work. I spent the evening with Mr. and Mrs. Anonymous. We ate, we drank, we shopped for condoms, we bowled, I fell, we ping-ponged, we darted, we shard secrets, and we promised not to talk about them.

Tomorrow my mom's coming to pick me up. I hope we find each other in the City of Brotherly Love. It's a little bigger than Moscow. She can't really stop in front of the office building and honk the horn so that I can come out.

Bum-bum

Laura's coming to visit and we've been singing the Bum-bum song in anticipation ever since.

Hair

I'm waiting for pictures from Christie so that you can see the changes in my hair over the past week. I cut my beard, leaving just the mustache. That only lasted a day because I did it more as a joke. It was disgusting.

Then I shaved my whole face. This always makes me look so much younger.

Then I got a crew cut. My hair is only a quarter inch long now. I like the look. Perhaps it'll last longer than just the summer.

Dreams of Grandeur

Today I sort of came to realize that I still have big dreams like I had in high school. You know the type: I'm going to sit on the Supreme Court, or write a great American novel, or lead a grass roots movement, or open a little coffee shop that will slowly take over the world. My dreams are not very specific, which is the main reason that I worry that they won't come to pass. They're vague, like I want to help people feel more connected to their communities, or I want kids to not feel so lost (very Holden Caulfield) or I want to be a "pillar of the community."

But as I was thinking about my dreams, I wondered if I'm setting myself up correctly. I realize that many people who lead what I consider "great lives" just seemed to be lucky. They were in the right place at the right time. Am I in the right place, so that when my time comes, I'll be ready? This isn't supposed to be a diss on Wisconsin. Great people came from here. Look at Aldo Leopold, Oprah, Edward R. Murrow, and Donna Shalala.

My concern is that I wonder what great people were doing when they were my age. I feel that I'm just coasting right now. Sure, I'm learning a great deal about pension plans and actuarial theory, but is that going to set me up for the next stage in my life? I'm saving money to buy a house, but won't that just change my focus from my dreams to a mortgage?

I was going to end this post with a jab at W. by asking what he was doing at my age, but now I'm feeling a little too pensive. The thought of his priviledged life is disheartening.

Craig's List Fun

This is honestly the best response to I've received from my CL post looking for a roommate. Note that it is written in complete sentences and everyword was spelled correctly - even homophones! I did not summarize the response; it has been reprinted in its entirety.


I am very much interested in your apt.
Please call me or e-mail ASAP.
Sal
Office: 414-867-5309
Cell:

CL joke

Have you guys been responding to my post on Craig's List? Because some of my responses have been a little strange - not strange enough to be funny. Just strange enough so that I have to spend the time to type out an awkward response. I know I shouldn't be discriminatory, but really, I don't want to live with anyone who does not conjugate verbs correctly. Nor someone who clearly did not read my post and asks questions that were answered in it. Some examples of the questions are "What is the rent?" or "Where is the apartment?" The answers to both of these questions are easy to find. The first is the number in the title with the dollar sign ($) in front of it. The answer to the second is the address that was on the bottom of the page next to the little map.

Can I stop by and pick up the pot?

I am spending my holiday making strawberry jam. I went berry-picking yesterday and today is the canning. The title refers to the question I asked Christie, who was quite confused.

Grown-up

This week I have been doing some grown-up activities. I have been looking for roommates. I am shopping for a condominium. I opened an IRA. I went to a house-warming party for a friend of my age. I have been seriously considering whether to stay in my current job or not. And I have been reading Proust.

Funny* Things the Intern Has Said

I've had to paraphrase some of them, as I didn't hear the end of the sentences once my ears began bleeding.

- I don't like The Gays.

- We don't need Unions. (This is after one of our clients told us about how her father was a local Union Leader.)

-WalMart is the best thing that America has going for it. It symbolizes the American dream.

- Ya'all've been brainwashed on the environment. The truth is that a bunch of tree-huggers on barges rode up the Mississippi in the 80s and scared the people with all of their garbage, claiming that the landfills were full. Well there's plenty of landfill space. Enough to last us 500 years. I've done my research.

-I think we should nuke the Middle East. It's not like anything good has ever come out of it.

What really bothers me about the intern is that he is absolutely sure that he's right. He keeps tells us about the research he's done on these topics. He's not just stating his opinion; he's lecturing us on what we're supposed to think. I'm not even so bothered by what he says; I'm bothered by how he says it. I know that he won't be hired full-time, but I'd really like to see him fired now. Unfortunately, I think everyone else in the office is being too nice to him. I'm the only one that has told him to "shut up" or "I'm too busy to talk about this now, maybe later." I'm also the only one he's apologized to for something he has said. And I answered back with, "Oh, you've said many more things that have offended me."

The intern's manager today, asked me how I've managed to keep the kid away from bothering me. I told him that as soon as we learned that he was a homophobe, I mentioned to him that he reminds me of an ex-boyfriend. I didn't actually say this to the intern, but I wish I had. I think he really avoids me because I tend to ignore him when he stops at my cube.



*Funny in a Hitler kind of way.
**Did you know that the asterisk was first used by Aristophanes?

Neapolitan Ice Cream

On Saturday I went fishing with Jake and Justin on Lake Pewaukee. I did not make that up. You can't make up names like Pewaukee. We caught no fish. We didn't even get a bite. But we saw the carp spawning. We touched leeches. We ate sandwiches. We fed ducks. And Jake fell in the water. It was a blast.

Someone had to say it

Today I finally cracked and told the intern, "Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about." Clearly, I am not management material.

My coworkers are thrilled by this because they think of me as "the nice guy" in the office, and I was the first to snap. Too be fair, though, they didn't have to share a golf cart with the guy during the company golf outing today.

I lasted until the 12th hole. That's when he began telling us the evils of unions. (We had been talking about Bruce Springsteen. I saw his concert last night. It was super.) I let him go on about unions because the client that was part of our team had interupted him to tell us that her father was in a union and big supporter. But did that stop our intern? No. Stay the course. We don't pontificate with the audience we want, we pontificate with the audience we have. I let him go because it's getting to the point that I want him to be fired. However, I did finally step in when he began to sing the praises of my least favorite store (besides the ones where kids can make their own dolls and bears) - a store that rhymes with Mal-Mart. He actually talked about how it symbolizes all that's great about America! Ugh. By this time we were back at our cart and out of earshot from our clients. Luckily, my little talk quieted him down for the rest of the day. My only regret is that I hadn't paraphrazed The Big Lebowski: Shut up, Intern. You're out of your element.

Gore bandwagon

The danger of not seeing An Inconvenient Truth: You may continue to live in denial of Global Warming.

The danger of seeing An Inconvenient Truth: You may vote for Al Gore.

Really, go see it. You'll learn so much. But walk to the theater, you'll feel too guilty to drive home.

yuengling sighting

Miller Park. Saturday, June 10th. 6:00 p.m. CDT

The sighting occurred at the entrance to the stadium. The drinker was ahead of me by 2 people, but I pushed them out of the way to make my beer connection. I tapped the drinker on the shoulder. Once, and then much harder the second time. He turned around, probably looking for a fight, but then he saw the longing in my eyes as I said, "Hey! Where did you get that Yuengling? Do they sell it here?"

He replied, "My buddy brought it from Pennsylvania. It's good beer. I don't even know how to pronounce it." This would be the point of the conversation that he was supposed to say, "Come back to our tailgate. We have a truckload of Lager." But instead he turned and headed to the ticket taker.

Later, Jake told me that he thinks the guy threw away half of a can of beer before entering the park. It's a crying shame.

At the Bar:

Donny: Doesn't that guy look like Ray Nagin?
Jake: He's the white chocolate version of Ray Nagin.
Jake: Hey Katie, c'mere. Look; it's Ray Nagin.
Katie: That's the white chocolate version of Ray Nagin.
Jake: That's my girl.

I burned my eye lashes while grilling today.

previous post

I never published this post about the Anniversary Party two weeks ago.

the 8th dwarf

Sometimes I whistle at work because I think that people won't notice that so soon as if I belted out a song from my cube a la Ethel Merman. That was not the case today when my two neighbors recognized NKOTB's "The Right Stuff" and called me on it. I should have kept in mind that they were born in the late 70s, also known as the Wahlberg Generation.

Wherefore art thou...

Jake and I are finally using our balcony. During our Spring Cleaning Extravaganza I cleaned it up, fixed the screen door, and scrubbed the windows. This weekend, though, was the first time we used it for it's real purpose - throwing watermelons. Actually we sat out there drinking Creepy Daves on night and talked about typical guy stuff - Danika Patrick, Bruce Springsteen, and varicose veins.

We now have a small grill out there, though we have only used it at the local park. We've talked about getting chairs too, but with Jake out of town this week, it looks like that job will fall to me. It's currently raining, otherwise, I'd be out there right now.

Oh, and we have tickets to see Springsteen in two weeks.

It's Raining Men

I did not think that this was an appropriate song to play at Aunt Ludy and Uncle Harry's 60th Wedding Anniversary Party. However, the DJ disagreed. And apparently so did Aunt Ludy and the rest of her family and friends. The party was a blast. We drank Manhattans (East Coast style) and white wine, a la the party's honorees. And the dancing soon followed the drinking. We did the Macarena, the Chicken Dance, the Conga, and the Hokey Pokey. Many of us were disappointed that the polka was not represented sufficiently, but that wasn't really noticed until the following day. Aunt Ludy was worried that the DJ would not have a certain Rod Stewart song that she and Uncle Harry had practiced dancing to. The family took bets on what classic Rod Stewart song we'd be forced to listen to. Mom took the long shot of "Hot Legs" and thankfully she lost. Some highlights of the party included: -Second cousin Jeff's very open discussion of his pending divorce. -The DJ's dancing on the table. -Possible incest when cousin Stacy told second-cousin Andrew he's hot and then they left the party together. (I told her, "If Eleanor Roosevelt can do it, so can you.") -The gay neighbors really letting loose on the dance floor, and only being shown up by... -The octogenarians dancing. This party was certainly worth the trip back home this weekend. I say this not because of how good of a party it was, but because it taught me about my family. I've never seen us in a party atmosphere like this. Our family is quite static. I've never been to a family wedding (nor a funeral) and I didn't know what to expect. Will these gatherings be silly, too serious, sappy? Fortunately, it was a good balance. The speeches were short and heartfelt. Jokes were told and family stories were told. We ate and drank well. And we danced until they kicked us out.

-Pos

wyomissing

I drove to Reading/Wyomissing today with my mom and cousin, Lindsey. Lindsey graduated from college this year and has a new job in that area. We went to look at her new apartment and decide what type of furniture and decorations she needs. My mom wanted to stop at the Vanity Fair outlets so that she could buy underwear. I just had nothing to do.

We had a fun time. The three of us never spend time together so it was funny to see all of our characteristics come together. I played the wise older cousin role and gave Lindsey all sorts of advice on moving to a new area - such as how meeting people is easier at a golf class than an abs class. We also talked about interest rates, which seems to be more and more common discussion among my friends my age.

I passed the restaurant that I at at last year with Charley and Bronwyn - two people from different worlds in which I once lived. Bronwyn was working; I called her but she didn't pick up. And according to Adina's flickr pictures, Charley is currently out of the country. If either of you have advice for Lindsey's move to your area, please let me know.

Moscow

It's nice to be done studying (for a while). The exam that I took yesterday went relatively well. I only guessed flat-out on 5 of 40 problems. And then another 10 were fairly good guesses. No matter what, I had to have scored higher than I did last November.

To celebrate, I tagged along with Mick and Kate and their friends. We had a good time - mostly because we found a bar with $2 martinis and $1 drafts. The music was good too, but as Mick pointed out, "I have a feeling that the band wouldn't be as good if we were sober." In between sets the DJ managed to pull off everything from Madonna to MJ to Journey to the Humpty Dance.

And did this keep me from my 7 am flight this morning? No way, Jose. I was at the airport with bells on. And two flights and one 5-hour lay-over I am back in Moscow. Unfortunately, not all of my luggage made it with me. I talked to the airline's ticket dealer/ticket taker/baggage handler/runway operator (It's a small airport.) and he said that my luggage will probably be on the next flight. I'm not optomistic. If my luggage can't make it to the plane in 5 hours, I don't see how more time will help.

The reason I'm in Moscow this week is for a family party. Aunt Ludmilla and Uncle Harry are celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. Aunt Ludy has been listing requests for the DJ. She has made a special one for a Rod Stewart song, for which she and Uncle Harry have been practicing a dance for. This could be my flickr debut, if I can figure out my sister's digital camera.

Study Update

I just took my second practice exam. I scored 45% correctly, which will probably put me on the cusp of passing. And that doesn't even count the number of questions that I would have guessed on. I would hope that I could get another fifth of those guesses correct.

I'm not going to take anymore practice exams. I think I'll do individual problems from previous exams, but really, I'm so sick of studying. There are topics that I don't know. I'm not sure if I should look over those, or if the knowledge of what I don't know will just make me more nervous. Ugh. 24 hours from now my May sitting will be over. I can't wait.

Not funny

Recently at work there have been quite a few jokes about my quitting and/or being fired. The latter doesn't concern me so much because I feel that if they tease me about it, then the idea of it must be absurd. And it's usually done in a very light way. For example, when my swipe card stopped working they're cutting costs by not using pink slips; I'm supposed to just take the hint.

What does bother me, though, is jokes about my quitting. This is because it's certainly a possibility, or possibly a certainty. It's a question of when, not if. And it's definitely uncomfortible in front of a larger group of people. For example, at yesterday's staff meeting I mentioned how I would be out of the office for two weeks for my exam and a trip home to PA. A consultant jokingly asked if I had purchased a return ticket back to Milwaukee. I didn't tell them that there's a good chance I'll be talking to my dad about whether he plans on my ever working for the family business. To be fair, morale in the office is low and most people talk openly about quitting or applying to other firms. I'm not the only one who people suspect; I'm just the most likely candidate.

This also follows an episode I had with the office manager the other day while driving to a client meeting. We were talking about the restaurants of Milwaukee and when he mentioned the only 5-star, which happens to be down the street from me, I said that it is "one of the places I want to try before leaving Milwaukee."

"You're planning on leaving Milwaukee?" he asked.

I'm not sure if my reply was intelligible with my foot in my mouth. Oops.

Linguistics Question

In other languages where most nouns have gender, what do people do if the nickname of a person has a gender different than the sex of the person. This wouldn't really be a problem for nicknames based on adjectives or animals whose genders can change. But what about nicknames based on inanimate objects. For example, Tom Delay is known as "the hammer." If hammer is feminine, wouldn't that cause problems? (I wish I knew of a good example, where the gender and sex do not match. The Hammer in Spanish is El Martillo.) Let me know if you have an answer or a good example.

Ya got trouble, my friends

With a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "P"
And that stands for Pool.

I swim every day before work. The gym is close to my apartment, so I'm usually in the water within fifteen minutes of waking up. I'm usually groggy. And I never have my glasses on. I normally don't talk to the other regulars for this reason, as well as I'm not there to make friends; I just want to get my workout and get out. Because I don't talk to the other people, I don't know their names. Actually most of them I wouldn't recognize if I saw them on the street. I usually recognize other swimmers by their swim suits or their movements - their gaits and strokes. Few of them have I been close enough for my near-sighted eyes to make out facial features. Most of them I have nick-names for, such as "Mr. Red Speedo", "Swims with Closed Fist", and "Little Napolean."

However, this has begun to change. One of them introduced herself to me. She's very nice. I always knew she was thoughtful, though; she's a good lane-sharer. Now I feel like I have to greet her every morning though. And it's a slippery slope. She must be the society glue of the 6:30 pool, because she seems to know everyone else's names too. And she uses them. And I think she's trying to get all of us to use them. This sounds fine on paper, but I don't really want to be chummy with my fellow swimmers. Besides the fact that I'm not there to make friends, the gym provides many awkward moments in the mornings. For example, I don't want to chit-chat about the weather with Mr. Red Speedo after he's taken off said speedo.

I don't mind pleasantries. I'm good at banter. But my main goal while swimming is to breathe, not stop and ask how the knee of the guy in the lane next to me is doing today. However, I'm worried that if I continue my solitude among all of the other regulars, I will come off as stuck-up and rude.

I don't wanna rock, DJ.

Jake is out of town for the week.
I'm in full study mode. Life contingencies rock.
The weather is beautiful, but I'm inside.

Sometimes I dance. And I ignore the walls of floor-to-ceiling windows and I give the people in the building next to me a free show. MJ is in heavy rotation. (It don't matter if you're black or white.) But today I also played a favorite mix CD which included Robbie Williams and Outkast.

SPF

Today I received my first sunburn of the season. I took the day off from work to study. I actually did study for 6 hours. Two of those hours were at a picnic table in the park. Some days my job is very stressful, but any day that I get paid to study math and enjoy the outdoors is a good day.

Eboni

One of the check-out girls at my grocery store has acquired teeth! Well, she now has gold(-plated metal) in her mouth where teeth used to be. I don't know if the bling will be more distracting than the gaping holes.

Study Break

I am supposed to be studying. I'm being paid for 4 hours of studying today but I've only actually clocked about 3. I'm taking a break and thinking about going for a walk. But first I thought I would do some recognizance work, and look at the site I found! Wisconsin - what a state! How can I not go for a walk now and counter all those spent calories with custard?