Sunday, January 27

Pictures!

In the My Pictures folder on my computer, I have an entire folder dedicated to the German Beer Hall. I had to create sub-folders to organize all of the pictures in there. Here is one of those pictures. This is Emily. She's a magnet for odd men. Here she has attracted a man in a silly hat. The bar was full of men in silly hats that night. All of their plumes were getting caught in the taxidermy on the walls. It was a haberdasher's nightmare.

Wednesday, January 23

Social Lubricant

Milwaukee is still cold. I arrived home from school today to a cold house and turned up the heat. And by "turned up the heat" I mean I chugged two beers in 30 minutes. I have a schoolteacher salary remember, and oil is more expensive than beer. Technically it's not, but orange juice is. But I digress. Anyway, I had a couple of e-mail messages to write that I have been putting off because they are somewhat awkward to write. For example, last month's heating bill arrived and I have to contact my old roommate with the amount that he owes me. I have put this off for a week. However, 2 beers + 1 empty stomach = 1 message - awkwardness. Let's just hope I remembered punctuation and grammar. In fifteen minutes I have completed all of my awkward correspondence.

And now Bluegrass Wednesday awaits. Who knew that I was a bluegrass fan? Not me.

Thursday, January 17

Test Scores (and kids) are Dropping in my School

The last two days at school have been pretty eventful. The principal was gone for a convention, so the assistant principals were left to their own devices. At one point one of them got on the PA system and announced: "I would like to thank the majority of students who were in their classes on time today and doing what they were supposed to be doing. However, we had 60 students suspended today, and I want to remind those students that they cannot come back to school until next Tuesday. And Joe Smith, wherever you are. You have just been added to that suspension list. We'll see you next Tuesday."

When I heard this, I cheered. And other teachers told me that they did too. Finally, an AP was taking a stand against the tide of students who are growing more brazen. The school is falling apart, and sometimes I just hide in my class room.

Yesterday, we had some excitement in the math department. A student fell from the ceiling into Julie's classroom. Yes, from the ceiling. She was going along in her lesson, and then suddenly a person's arm and leg were hanging from the ceiling above her. The student had jumped on top of some storage cabinets that we keep in our hallway. Figuring that he could crawl around the school, he climbed onto the ceiling panels. Our school is home to some of the lowest test scores in the state, and this just reinforces that data. How did he think that ceiling panels would hold his weight? There are mice in the building too big for those panels.

We're not sure if the student was high or not. He was running around the school looking for chips and food earlier in the day. He may be one of our more entrepreneurial students who sells food to the masses, or he was jonesing himself. We don't know. But now the teachers are spreading rumors of a huge cache of flamin' hot chee-tos in our ceilings.

So, anytime that I have been asked about my day today, I have responded with, "Any day in which a student doesn't fall into my classroom is a good day in my book."

I don't miss the consulting world at all.

Sunday, January 6

Someday...

somebody's gonna make you wanna turn around and say Good-bye.

Oh, Sunday night listening to Delilah. Hold on for one more day.

Wednesday, January 2

Ancient Chinese Secret

NYE was so much fun that I don't even remember it. I left my credit card at Long Wong's. I haven't picked it up yet, however, when I check my account on line, only $10 was charged to my card. I (allegedly) broke more than $10 worth of glasses in a single swipe of my arm. How was I not charged more?

Tuesday, January 1

On the roller coaster of life...

sometimes you're Fabio's face and sometimes you're a goose.