Homeward Bound

I was just washing my dishes and out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of light outside. I turned to look, but nothing was there. I was a little confused, and honestly the crazy part of my mind thought that it could have been supernatural. However, then I heard the thunder and realized that it was just lightning. December - and we're having a thunderstorm. We're in Wisconsin; this should be snow.

Now I wait for the airport van and watch the rain. And listen to a John Denver/Muppet Christmas album.

Craig's List Missed Connections

Today I was skimming the Milwaukee Missed Connections on Craig's List to see if I had caught anyone's attention as I went about my business this weekend. I expected something along the lines of "hot moustache on cold ice - let's meet" or "hey lonely guy in the cancelled yoga class - you can't read signs, but maybe someone will tell you about this posting", but I found nothing directed to me.

However, I did find a missed connection that matched my friend, Sarah, perfectly. This wasn't a typical MC description with universal (i.e. "you were wearing pants and paying with a credit card") and or vague (i.e. "your(sic) hot - you know who I am") details. Instead the description had the class that they shared and the restaurant that she waitressed in. And it had her name! Of course, these details could also classify the guy as a stalker, but "hope springs eternal within the human gonads". (Edward Abbey)

I hope Sarah contacts him.

Soup-Strainer

I have little time left in Milwaukee before I head back to the commonwealth. I have plenty to do before then - projects at work, clean around the apartment, update computer issues, meet with church people, etc. But what am I doing instead? Looking for jobs online. And freecell.

This morning I went to a yoga class for the second time at 6 am! And this morning, the class was cancelled for the second time at 6 am! However, now I know that the class has been cancelled for good, so I won't be trying that again. I was moved to try yoga after my recent snowboarding adventure, when I realized how poorly I balance and how much flexibility I've lost since my boxing/tap-dancing days. I'm still swimming more than a mile each day, but that rarely requires me to touch my toes. So, it seems that I will need to find some other means of expanding my exercising.


Somehow I fit about 20 people into my apartment this weekend for my moustache and ice skating potluck - more commonly referred to as the "What would Brian Boitano Do? Party." Kudos to Linda who decorated her cake with a moustache made out of icing.

The weather was warm, but the ice was cold enough to skate. None of my BU friends were in attendance, so we didn't have any trips to the emergency room. (I mean you, Jackie.) Unfortunately, all of our "action" shots on the ice are too dark to justify uploading them. However, you're not missing much - "action" for us means blurry images of flailing people on ice.

Moustache Friday!

Stay tuned for pictures!

A Neighborhood Tour

This past Saturday I walked around my neighborhood and took some pictures to show you, dear readers, what my home is like. Mostly they are pictures of the nearby statues, because I think they are funny, and sometimes poignant. Also note that the snow in the pictures is from our first big storm, which was on Friday.

This first picture is the Milwaukee Art Museum. The building is a work of art too. The "bird" is looking out over Lake Michigan, and the wings come down whenever the museum is closed or during bad weather.


There are four statues near my apartment. This first is Abe Lincoln, which isn't very out-of-the-ordinary. I would expect most major cities have a statue of Abe.

The next statue is of Solomon Juneau, one of the three founders of Milwaukee. I used to live on Juneau Street. I only know about Mr. Juneau because the Milwaukee Ale House brews beers named after the founders and I often read the coasters.
The third statue is Leif Erikson. This is the closest statue to my apartment, and I see it often. His metal breastplate reminds me of Madonna. I bet people used to tell him that all of the time.

The last statue is Robert Burns. This one confuses me the most. What is a statue of a Scottish poet doing in Milwaukee? And more importantly, who paid for this? How did Robert Burns beat out...well, I can't think of any famous Milwaukeeans except for Laverne, Shirley, and Golda Meir.Ok, one more statue. And this one is more temporary than the others, but just as inspiring.

Seriously though...

...who hasn't gone to a company holiday party and then couldn't remember what happened the following day?

Left Hand Yellow!

I forgot to add this picture from a Halloween party that I attended.

Coffee Hour

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Holiday...it would be so nice.

Tomorrow night is my third holiday party. The past two years the parties were held at a hotel 50 minutes from downtown. It was tres chic and a good deal of fun, but it was quite a drive. This year, the party will be held in a restaurant two blocks from the office. This means that I can walk there and stumble home at the end of the night. And instead of drink tickets...open bar! Just in case, I'll be bringing my flask.

I haven't been to an office party yet that didn't provide gossip afterwards - usually alcohol and/or sex related gossip. Hopefully this year will be no different. Already we have drama. The members of the fun committee have been bickering about the details of the party and one of them has decided not to attend in protest. Yeah, the Fun Committee. Its name just screams irony, doesn't it?

Bananas!

The Messiah has arrived in Milwaukee, and of course, I mean Whole Foods. It's interesting to see how people react to the supermarket. Some seem to feel the satisfaction that Milwaukee is now respected enough to be graced by the Whole Foods chain. Some people are upset that another corporation is going to stamp out the local "alternative" grocery stores. And then there's another group of people that don't seem to care. I fit in the third group.

I stayed away for a month or so to let the crowds lessen, but eventually I realized that I had to make the trip just to keep up with pop Milwaukee-culture. After dinner one evening I decided to walk to Whole Foods, which is a 20-25 minute walk. I needed bananas and I was open to buying something else if it caught my eye - maybe some ketchup. Haha, who am I kidding? It's all the preservatives in ketchup that make it good.

Anyway, I felt strange in Whole Foods. But it wasn't the store that made me feel strange; it was the other people. They seemed to be there for a reason besides grocery-shopping. I think they wanted to prove that they are beyond traditional supermarkets. They care about the hormones pumped into the cows, from which they get their milk. They want to recognize the ingredients of the orange dye applied to the organic cheese puffs. The don't want to eat gluten! But I think they also want to show that they can afford it.

I've found a way to give my grandmother a heart attack. Show her the price of organic bananas. And then tell her that I paid that price. And threw one of them away when it had too many bruises. She doesn't even know that "organic" is pretty meaningless when it comes to bananas too. She would, however, be pleased that I received a 10 cents credit for bringing my own bags.

The upside of the Whole Foods arrival, though, is that it has started a dialogue regarding our food sources. I have decided to switch to organic milk. I did a paper in college on female hormones. During my research I was surprised to learn how much estrogen et al. is used in the dairy industry and then passed into the environment, usually in the water systems. It has a big impact on fish populations, but I forget exactly how. I'm also considering joining a CSA, community supported agriculture. By joining, I'll receive a weekly CSA box, filled with vegetables from a local farm! Some of the vegetables I'd be unfamiliar with, but I've always felt that I need more chard in my life.

I wonder how it explains the pro-life stance.

Why Mommy is a Democrat

Christmas has arrived in Milwaukee

I wish someone had told me that the Christmas parade would be passing in front of my apartment on Sunday morning. There's nothing quite like being woken up by a marching band - especially on the morning after Dan Goldin Day.

I was also shocked when I looked out of my window to see the big red dog, in helium form, floating down the street. Who knew that Milwaukee had the budget for that much helium?

Dan Goldin Day IV

So, another Dan Goldin Day has come and gone. And it seems that we have a new tradition.

For the past two years, DGD has included a trip to the local brewery. And for the past two years, we have been turned away at the door because the tour has been sold out. We even showed up 60 minutes early this year! We were there before the earlier tour had even left, and it was already sold out. So, in the same fashion as last year, we got a couple pitchers of beer and enjoyed the fish fry and live polka band.

We had to sit at two separate tables because our group was so large! Thirteen people showed up for DGD - Milwaukee. It was a proud day. We hope that another Dan Goldin Day tradition will be to meet new people. DGD 2005 saw two great additions to our circle of friends, and hopefully 2006 will not be different. Christie and I brought some of our new coworkers, and they got into the DGD spirit. I sensed no eye-rolling or shocked disapproval at any of our shenanigans so maybe they'll come out with us again. Only time will tell.

Course C

I'm not feeling too good about my exam, which is tomorrow morning. Even now, I don't feel like studying, because I'm worried that it'll just make me realize all that I still don't know. I've been concentrating on categories that are always on the exam. My game plan is to go straight for them and cut my losses on the things I don't know. I'm usually a good test-taker so hopefully that will help separate me from the riff-raff. The exam is always graded on a curve. Thirty-five problems in 4 hours, and a good number of them will take more than 10 minutes each to complete.

I'm not sure of the passing rate of this exam but it has to be better than the rate of the previous one. Hopefully it'll be around 40%. I think I can handle that.

update

I still don't have internet in my apartment. I've signed up for it, I'm paying for it, but it's not working. And I am tired of calling the help desk and taking the various boxes back to the computer store. First my router was a problem. Then the wireless router was the problem. Now it just seems that my computer is the problem - though it's working fine here in the library. I wish I had computer-literate friends who lived nearby.

I'm thinking about asking my office's ex-IT guy to look at my network connections for me. Perhaps I'll cook him dinner in exchange for his computer wizardry. Who wouldn't exchange a few hours of work for meatloaf.

I wore a tie to work today and received comments from all but two of the coworkers who saw me. I bet I won't get that many comments when I wear my mullet wig all day Thursday in preparation of our Halloween Party. It's strange that the mullet wig is more acceptable in my office than a tie. But it is a very nice tie.

Party like an actuary.

I went to a coworker's party last night.


Schedule of Events:

8:30 pm Arrive, survey food and drink.

9:30 pm Rubik's cubes

11:00 pm Dirty Mad Libs

1:30 am Keg Stands

V

My (great) Aunt Virginia died this weekend, and I don't feel particularly sad, because I think she did not like the way she had been living for the past several months. She was a smart, snappy lady for 80+ years and bingo and a nursing home just aren't her style. I'm not sure if I should go home for the funeral. I would be going more for my family than for myself or her.

Updates

• I woke up to find a container of cottage cheese outside of my apartment this morning.
• I still have 80 hours of study time to take in the next 20 work days before my next exam.
• I finally hung up the pictures in my apartment. And I bought a desk. But I still haven't hooked up the internet yet. I called the help desk, but they weren't too helpful.
• I raised $200+ for the CROP walk today. But I still didn't get anyone from my church to walk with me.
• Kat's engaged.
• I received an angry letter from my high school Latin teacher telling me to stop organizing letter campaigns asking her to run for school board.
• The mayor of Milwaukee sent me a letter thanking me for the letter I sent him regarding air pollution in Milwaukee. I sent no such letter. But I don't think he actually cares.

Quote of the LA Trip

Setting: Cory's apartment, football playing on the television.

Ray: Do you mind if I take off my pants?

Los Angeles

My trip to Los Angeles last week was a blast. I met Tom there and we visited Ray, Cory, and Las Vegas. Instead of typing through all the events that happened, I'll just highlight with pictures.

Day 1:
Tom and I arrived within minutes of each other at LAX. Ray picked us up. We stopped briefly at his father's house before heading to Las Vegas. He said that he needed to pick some stuff up, but really I think he wanted to show us his gun collection.

Day 2:
The two nights in Vegas are a blur. I think the individual highlights though are:

1. Donny won $300 on slots.
2. Ray had a duet with Celine.
3. Tom ran the buffet's dessert gamut.
And the Star Wars penny slots.
Day 3:
We drove back to LA and had to leave behind the buffets.
A notable conversation from the carride:

Ray: You have to try soju while you're in Cali.
Donny: I've had soju before.
R: When did you have soju?
D: I had a Korean roommate in college.
R: Who? Michael?
D: No, you.



Day 4:
We spent the day with Cory. We ate at El Taurino for lunch and I learned how little Spanish I actually retained from high school.
We visited the Getty Center and had a "very significant" discussion on "multiples of 30 and parts of 30." We measured the Getty with dollar bills.

Dinner was at a Koream bar-b-que, where we paid to cook our own dinner.
Cory tried to learn how to order so that he could come back later and impress his girlfriend, but he couldn't even figure out how to read the menu. "The menu doesn't even list 'all-you-can-eat' meat bar-b-que. How do you know it's there?" Ray replied, "It's listed on the cover, but only in Korean."The Dodgers game was fun except for the Dodgers (who lost miserably)
and the fan who fell asleep during the game (Note Ray in the back).
Day 5 & 6:
These days were a mess of watching TV and just hanging out. We went to a farmer's market. We ate more Mexican. We went to the beach and saw an old man performing Achey Breaky Heart. I threw up on an airplane.

Great trip...except for the vomit.

Pomes!

On Saturday night we did not hold Pear-a-palooza as we had originally intended. Instead I won tickets to the Mindy Smith concert from a radio station. The concert was good, but I'm not sure if it was just good because the tickets were free. It certainly was no Ditty Bop concert. But really, what is?

Work sucks

And I don't want to do this anymore.

That's all I had written and then decided that maybe I should expand on that idea. I'm still here at 10 pm. I'm nowhere near complete on the multitude of projects I should be finishing. My coworkers don't seem to care because they have too much work too. I suppose feast is better than famine, but I need a break now and then. I suppose next week will be a nice vacation when I go to LA to visit Ray and Cory with Tom.

coffee

I go to coffee shops pretty frequently to study. I don't like coffee. And I don't like tea. However, I do like chai and that's the only thing I order. ever. When I get to the counter to make my order, though, I always take time to look over the menu. I know what I'm going to order before I enter the door, but I like to keep up the appearance that I'm a sophosticated coffee-drinker that needs to determine which direction my tastes will take me that day.

Library update

Quick update from the library: My move is still underway. All of my stuff is in the new place, but I'm still calling about hooking up the phone, electricity, etc. And now I need parking. Who knew that moving 3 blocks would be so time-consuming.

I have taken pictures with my new camera. I'm excited to learn how to upload them here.

Moving

I picked up the keys to my new apartment today. I have made absolutely no plans for my move. I don't have a truck. I have asked none of my friends for help. I may be in trouble.

All this and a Bag of Chips

My bag of potato chips (new open pit bar-b-q flavored) is set to expire in mid-November - on my birthday. Maybe I should serve them at a birthday party. I thought my birthday was a long time away, but the bag of chips puts time into perspective. There are a good number of things that are planned to happen in the next three months. There will be many occasions to serve those chips.

I can serve them at my housewarming party when I move into my new apartment. Or at Jake’s going-away party when he officially moves to Madison for school. Or Christie’s moving party. Or Katie, or Justin, or Mick. Everybody’s moving.

I could bring them with me when Tom and I visit Raymond in LA. We could eat them on our drive to Vegas. Or I could take them with me for my seminar in Chicago, which is conveniently planned for the same weekend that Adina will be in Chicago for work. (If I could make a guilty-looking, drunken emoticon, I would place it right there) As long as potato chips have not been used in a terrorist plot, I could also take them with me on my trip back to PA, which I hope to make in the fall.

I could use them as a study break as I prepare for my early November exam. Or they could also be served at a celebration after the exam. They could be a late night snack as I plan to work a lot of hours in the next few months. (Did you hear about the Pension Protection Act? It’s very exciting. All of the funding rules are changing. Actuaries across the country are giddy with anticipation.) But I should definitely not eat them before running, as I am also preparing for an 8K run that will be in a few weeks.

In the back of my mind, I am also thinking about all of the things that start up again in September. I want to take Stained Glass again this summer and a few gym classes as well. I’ve already ordered season tickets for the Milwaukee Symphony and there are some shows coming to town that I want to see also. Too many things to do. Maybe I should quit my job and make some time?

My parents visited Chicago

On the phone

Me: Hey, Mom. I'm leaving Milwaukee now. I'll be at your hotel in about an hour and a half.
Mom: What? I thought you were only 90 minutes away?
Me: (long pause)
Mom: Oh. Right. They're the same thing.

Exam

I passed the actuarial exam that I took back in May. Last night my company took us out for dinner to celebrate. We went to a Brazilian Steakhouse. It was the first time that I've ever been to one, and it was quite the treat. The idea is that the wait staff carries around meat on sword that has been slow cooking all day. Every person has a coaster next to his/her seat and as long as the coaster is green-side up, the waiters stop by and cut you a piece of meat. And the waiters are just waiters - they're Brazilian cowboys! Well, they're dressed like Gauchos at least. But I'm pretty sure some of them were Mexican, Eastern European, and Asian. They wore Brazilian boots though.

I haven't eaten as much meat as I ate last night since 2003. And I mean all of 2003. I felt sick after only two rounds of meat helpings. I hadn't even eaten any meat since Saturday. My coworkers though are real troopers. They kept eating up until the 5th or 6th round. Of course, it helped that we were all guys. Gluttony seems to increase when eating becomes a competition. And alcohol helps too. The wine-drinking partner came to dinner with us and he always manages to order some pretty pricey wines. I told him that I'd be fine with just a cheap "shir-azz". But he corrected my pronounciation and continued to order me some fancy cabernet.

Today my coworkers talked about last night as if we had been binge-drinking. Statements like "I can't eat like I could when I was in college." or "I don't know how I drove home in that state last night." were common.

Nice melons.

Friday night is Singles Night at my supermarket. How many crude produce jokes can one make? We easily came up with one for most fruits, vegetables, and dairy products. And we didn't even begin to think about the processed meat section. Which aisle is the best for picking up someone? How's this line: "You like cereal? Really? Me, too."

Milk

This weekend I learned that if one drops a gallon of milk on a hard surface, like a supermarket floor, from a distance that's equal to one's hand to the floor, the plastic container rips at the seams and milk splatters all over. True story.

And I went to the Wisco. State Fair and watched birthing pigs. Piglets are not cute at 3 minutes old.

Sunday update

I can't believe how many conversations I've had this week about weddings, showers, and/or babies. I feel left out. Not because I'm desparately seeking a wife or babies, because I'm not. And not because I'm not playing a role in the conversations, because I force my way into most discussions and I am interested in what my friends are doing. I just feel like the oddball. It seems that everyone I talk to is settled into their lives. I should pull an Amy Sedaris and create a fake fiance.

Jake's out of town. This is good, because the weather is hot and humid and I'm spending most of my time at home in my underwear. I've become Raymond.

Running with the Weiners

Christie and I rocked the 5K Sausage Run at Miller Park this morning. Despite the beating sun and the Racing Sausages nipping at our heels, we crossed the finish line under 27 minutes. That's two minutes faster than my time last year. Also, I beat all 4 sausages! Last year, I only beat two of them. The new Chorizo did not make an appearance this morning, but I think he'll be at tonight's game. We may be losing Carlos Lee, but we're getting a new Sausage. The new Chorizo's "skin tone" will be darker and more appropriately represent the spicy sausage's color. He'll be wearing a sombrero.

Oh, Milwaukee. Pomplona's got nothing on you.

Ouch!

The subtitle to this post is “She’s more than just the woman who rips the hair out of my back – she’s also my friend.”

Last week Adina made a comment that I have a big secret and that I would have to post it within a week or she would disclose it to all. I don’t think it’s really a secret though, because anyone that has seen me swimming in the past week, would see clearly that I no longer have hair on my back. I had it waxed.

A few weeks ago I won a gift certificate for a local hair salon. Because Katie had given me a buzz cut a day earlier (with her Barber in a Box) I looked at the other services that the salon offered. I narrowed my options to a pedicure or a waxing. My choice was a pleasant afternoon that would fade quickly or a tortuous afternoon with pleasant effects that would last a few weeks. I went with the torture.

The waxer, Kim, was super friendly. She sensed my anxiety over the phone and reassured me that she was not an ogre that would jump on me like they do on TV. I have never seen this on TV and prior to my conversation with Kim I had not had this fear, but now I did. My original fear was that deep down (read: shallow as a puddle) I would wimp out halfway through the ordeal and leave with a strip of paper stuck to my back. I expected to learn a good deal about myself during this.

However, my experience was very good. Except for the systematic pulling of hair (and what felt like skin), it was very relaxing. The rooms lighting was dim and Kim played soothing New Age music. The wax smelled like honey. And the conversation was great.

Kim and I talked about Milwaukee and work – hers and mine. We talked about our families and our religions. And then we talked about books. Recently it seems as if I have been hitting the chick-lit a little stronger than usual. Also, Oprah has been selecting some of my favorites for her book club, so we had those titles in common too. By the end we were writing down titles and authors for each other. She also told me that if she couldn’t find my suggestion, she would call my house.

I had originally planned to not tell anyone about my adventure in aesthetics, but then realized that because of my swimming tendency, it would be obvious that something had happened. I told my friends, and it’s a good thing that I did because when we went to the French festival, Bastille Days, we had the contest of who sees someone that they know first. I won; I saw Kim.

Home, sweet, home

Within ten minutes of arriving at my parents' house in Moscow, I overheard the following conversation: Dad (on the phone with Mom's brother): Hey, if you don't have plans for Friday, want to go out for lunch with me and Donny? Donny's paying. It's my birthday. (pause) Yeah, see if your father wants to come too. (pause) That sounds great. See you then. This was the first that I had heard of these plans.

Philadelphia

I have been very busy lately and have so much material to post about. I'm currently in Philadelphia for work. I spent the evening with Mr. and Mrs. Anonymous. We ate, we drank, we shopped for condoms, we bowled, I fell, we ping-ponged, we darted, we shard secrets, and we promised not to talk about them.

Tomorrow my mom's coming to pick me up. I hope we find each other in the City of Brotherly Love. It's a little bigger than Moscow. She can't really stop in front of the office building and honk the horn so that I can come out.

Bum-bum

Laura's coming to visit and we've been singing the Bum-bum song in anticipation ever since.

Hair

I'm waiting for pictures from Christie so that you can see the changes in my hair over the past week. I cut my beard, leaving just the mustache. That only lasted a day because I did it more as a joke. It was disgusting.

Then I shaved my whole face. This always makes me look so much younger.

Then I got a crew cut. My hair is only a quarter inch long now. I like the look. Perhaps it'll last longer than just the summer.

Dreams of Grandeur

Today I sort of came to realize that I still have big dreams like I had in high school. You know the type: I'm going to sit on the Supreme Court, or write a great American novel, or lead a grass roots movement, or open a little coffee shop that will slowly take over the world. My dreams are not very specific, which is the main reason that I worry that they won't come to pass. They're vague, like I want to help people feel more connected to their communities, or I want kids to not feel so lost (very Holden Caulfield) or I want to be a "pillar of the community."

But as I was thinking about my dreams, I wondered if I'm setting myself up correctly. I realize that many people who lead what I consider "great lives" just seemed to be lucky. They were in the right place at the right time. Am I in the right place, so that when my time comes, I'll be ready? This isn't supposed to be a diss on Wisconsin. Great people came from here. Look at Aldo Leopold, Oprah, Edward R. Murrow, and Donna Shalala.

My concern is that I wonder what great people were doing when they were my age. I feel that I'm just coasting right now. Sure, I'm learning a great deal about pension plans and actuarial theory, but is that going to set me up for the next stage in my life? I'm saving money to buy a house, but won't that just change my focus from my dreams to a mortgage?

I was going to end this post with a jab at W. by asking what he was doing at my age, but now I'm feeling a little too pensive. The thought of his priviledged life is disheartening.

Craig's List Fun

This is honestly the best response to I've received from my CL post looking for a roommate. Note that it is written in complete sentences and everyword was spelled correctly - even homophones! I did not summarize the response; it has been reprinted in its entirety.


I am very much interested in your apt.
Please call me or e-mail ASAP.
Sal
Office: 414-867-5309
Cell:

CL joke

Have you guys been responding to my post on Craig's List? Because some of my responses have been a little strange - not strange enough to be funny. Just strange enough so that I have to spend the time to type out an awkward response. I know I shouldn't be discriminatory, but really, I don't want to live with anyone who does not conjugate verbs correctly. Nor someone who clearly did not read my post and asks questions that were answered in it. Some examples of the questions are "What is the rent?" or "Where is the apartment?" The answers to both of these questions are easy to find. The first is the number in the title with the dollar sign ($) in front of it. The answer to the second is the address that was on the bottom of the page next to the little map.

Can I stop by and pick up the pot?

I am spending my holiday making strawberry jam. I went berry-picking yesterday and today is the canning. The title refers to the question I asked Christie, who was quite confused.

Grown-up

This week I have been doing some grown-up activities. I have been looking for roommates. I am shopping for a condominium. I opened an IRA. I went to a house-warming party for a friend of my age. I have been seriously considering whether to stay in my current job or not. And I have been reading Proust.

Funny* Things the Intern Has Said

I've had to paraphrase some of them, as I didn't hear the end of the sentences once my ears began bleeding.

- I don't like The Gays.

- We don't need Unions. (This is after one of our clients told us about how her father was a local Union Leader.)

-WalMart is the best thing that America has going for it. It symbolizes the American dream.

- Ya'all've been brainwashed on the environment. The truth is that a bunch of tree-huggers on barges rode up the Mississippi in the 80s and scared the people with all of their garbage, claiming that the landfills were full. Well there's plenty of landfill space. Enough to last us 500 years. I've done my research.

-I think we should nuke the Middle East. It's not like anything good has ever come out of it.

What really bothers me about the intern is that he is absolutely sure that he's right. He keeps tells us about the research he's done on these topics. He's not just stating his opinion; he's lecturing us on what we're supposed to think. I'm not even so bothered by what he says; I'm bothered by how he says it. I know that he won't be hired full-time, but I'd really like to see him fired now. Unfortunately, I think everyone else in the office is being too nice to him. I'm the only one that has told him to "shut up" or "I'm too busy to talk about this now, maybe later." I'm also the only one he's apologized to for something he has said. And I answered back with, "Oh, you've said many more things that have offended me."

The intern's manager today, asked me how I've managed to keep the kid away from bothering me. I told him that as soon as we learned that he was a homophobe, I mentioned to him that he reminds me of an ex-boyfriend. I didn't actually say this to the intern, but I wish I had. I think he really avoids me because I tend to ignore him when he stops at my cube.



*Funny in a Hitler kind of way.
**Did you know that the asterisk was first used by Aristophanes?

Neapolitan Ice Cream

On Saturday I went fishing with Jake and Justin on Lake Pewaukee. I did not make that up. You can't make up names like Pewaukee. We caught no fish. We didn't even get a bite. But we saw the carp spawning. We touched leeches. We ate sandwiches. We fed ducks. And Jake fell in the water. It was a blast.

Someone had to say it

Today I finally cracked and told the intern, "Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about." Clearly, I am not management material.

My coworkers are thrilled by this because they think of me as "the nice guy" in the office, and I was the first to snap. Too be fair, though, they didn't have to share a golf cart with the guy during the company golf outing today.

I lasted until the 12th hole. That's when he began telling us the evils of unions. (We had been talking about Bruce Springsteen. I saw his concert last night. It was super.) I let him go on about unions because the client that was part of our team had interupted him to tell us that her father was in a union and big supporter. But did that stop our intern? No. Stay the course. We don't pontificate with the audience we want, we pontificate with the audience we have. I let him go because it's getting to the point that I want him to be fired. However, I did finally step in when he began to sing the praises of my least favorite store (besides the ones where kids can make their own dolls and bears) - a store that rhymes with Mal-Mart. He actually talked about how it symbolizes all that's great about America! Ugh. By this time we were back at our cart and out of earshot from our clients. Luckily, my little talk quieted him down for the rest of the day. My only regret is that I hadn't paraphrazed The Big Lebowski: Shut up, Intern. You're out of your element.

Gore bandwagon

The danger of not seeing An Inconvenient Truth: You may continue to live in denial of Global Warming.

The danger of seeing An Inconvenient Truth: You may vote for Al Gore.

Really, go see it. You'll learn so much. But walk to the theater, you'll feel too guilty to drive home.

yuengling sighting

Miller Park. Saturday, June 10th. 6:00 p.m. CDT

The sighting occurred at the entrance to the stadium. The drinker was ahead of me by 2 people, but I pushed them out of the way to make my beer connection. I tapped the drinker on the shoulder. Once, and then much harder the second time. He turned around, probably looking for a fight, but then he saw the longing in my eyes as I said, "Hey! Where did you get that Yuengling? Do they sell it here?"

He replied, "My buddy brought it from Pennsylvania. It's good beer. I don't even know how to pronounce it." This would be the point of the conversation that he was supposed to say, "Come back to our tailgate. We have a truckload of Lager." But instead he turned and headed to the ticket taker.

Later, Jake told me that he thinks the guy threw away half of a can of beer before entering the park. It's a crying shame.

At the Bar:

Donny: Doesn't that guy look like Ray Nagin?
Jake: He's the white chocolate version of Ray Nagin.
Jake: Hey Katie, c'mere. Look; it's Ray Nagin.
Katie: That's the white chocolate version of Ray Nagin.
Jake: That's my girl.

I burned my eye lashes while grilling today.

previous post

I never published this post about the Anniversary Party two weeks ago.

the 8th dwarf

Sometimes I whistle at work because I think that people won't notice that so soon as if I belted out a song from my cube a la Ethel Merman. That was not the case today when my two neighbors recognized NKOTB's "The Right Stuff" and called me on it. I should have kept in mind that they were born in the late 70s, also known as the Wahlberg Generation.

Wherefore art thou...

Jake and I are finally using our balcony. During our Spring Cleaning Extravaganza I cleaned it up, fixed the screen door, and scrubbed the windows. This weekend, though, was the first time we used it for it's real purpose - throwing watermelons. Actually we sat out there drinking Creepy Daves on night and talked about typical guy stuff - Danika Patrick, Bruce Springsteen, and varicose veins.

We now have a small grill out there, though we have only used it at the local park. We've talked about getting chairs too, but with Jake out of town this week, it looks like that job will fall to me. It's currently raining, otherwise, I'd be out there right now.

Oh, and we have tickets to see Springsteen in two weeks.

It's Raining Men

I did not think that this was an appropriate song to play at Aunt Ludy and Uncle Harry's 60th Wedding Anniversary Party. However, the DJ disagreed. And apparently so did Aunt Ludy and the rest of her family and friends. The party was a blast. We drank Manhattans (East Coast style) and white wine, a la the party's honorees. And the dancing soon followed the drinking. We did the Macarena, the Chicken Dance, the Conga, and the Hokey Pokey. Many of us were disappointed that the polka was not represented sufficiently, but that wasn't really noticed until the following day. Aunt Ludy was worried that the DJ would not have a certain Rod Stewart song that she and Uncle Harry had practiced dancing to. The family took bets on what classic Rod Stewart song we'd be forced to listen to. Mom took the long shot of "Hot Legs" and thankfully she lost. Some highlights of the party included: -Second cousin Jeff's very open discussion of his pending divorce. -The DJ's dancing on the table. -Possible incest when cousin Stacy told second-cousin Andrew he's hot and then they left the party together. (I told her, "If Eleanor Roosevelt can do it, so can you.") -The gay neighbors really letting loose on the dance floor, and only being shown up by... -The octogenarians dancing. This party was certainly worth the trip back home this weekend. I say this not because of how good of a party it was, but because it taught me about my family. I've never seen us in a party atmosphere like this. Our family is quite static. I've never been to a family wedding (nor a funeral) and I didn't know what to expect. Will these gatherings be silly, too serious, sappy? Fortunately, it was a good balance. The speeches were short and heartfelt. Jokes were told and family stories were told. We ate and drank well. And we danced until they kicked us out.

-Pos

wyomissing

I drove to Reading/Wyomissing today with my mom and cousin, Lindsey. Lindsey graduated from college this year and has a new job in that area. We went to look at her new apartment and decide what type of furniture and decorations she needs. My mom wanted to stop at the Vanity Fair outlets so that she could buy underwear. I just had nothing to do.

We had a fun time. The three of us never spend time together so it was funny to see all of our characteristics come together. I played the wise older cousin role and gave Lindsey all sorts of advice on moving to a new area - such as how meeting people is easier at a golf class than an abs class. We also talked about interest rates, which seems to be more and more common discussion among my friends my age.

I passed the restaurant that I at at last year with Charley and Bronwyn - two people from different worlds in which I once lived. Bronwyn was working; I called her but she didn't pick up. And according to Adina's flickr pictures, Charley is currently out of the country. If either of you have advice for Lindsey's move to your area, please let me know.

Moscow

It's nice to be done studying (for a while). The exam that I took yesterday went relatively well. I only guessed flat-out on 5 of 40 problems. And then another 10 were fairly good guesses. No matter what, I had to have scored higher than I did last November.

To celebrate, I tagged along with Mick and Kate and their friends. We had a good time - mostly because we found a bar with $2 martinis and $1 drafts. The music was good too, but as Mick pointed out, "I have a feeling that the band wouldn't be as good if we were sober." In between sets the DJ managed to pull off everything from Madonna to MJ to Journey to the Humpty Dance.

And did this keep me from my 7 am flight this morning? No way, Jose. I was at the airport with bells on. And two flights and one 5-hour lay-over I am back in Moscow. Unfortunately, not all of my luggage made it with me. I talked to the airline's ticket dealer/ticket taker/baggage handler/runway operator (It's a small airport.) and he said that my luggage will probably be on the next flight. I'm not optomistic. If my luggage can't make it to the plane in 5 hours, I don't see how more time will help.

The reason I'm in Moscow this week is for a family party. Aunt Ludmilla and Uncle Harry are celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. Aunt Ludy has been listing requests for the DJ. She has made a special one for a Rod Stewart song, for which she and Uncle Harry have been practicing a dance for. This could be my flickr debut, if I can figure out my sister's digital camera.

Study Update

I just took my second practice exam. I scored 45% correctly, which will probably put me on the cusp of passing. And that doesn't even count the number of questions that I would have guessed on. I would hope that I could get another fifth of those guesses correct.

I'm not going to take anymore practice exams. I think I'll do individual problems from previous exams, but really, I'm so sick of studying. There are topics that I don't know. I'm not sure if I should look over those, or if the knowledge of what I don't know will just make me more nervous. Ugh. 24 hours from now my May sitting will be over. I can't wait.

Not funny

Recently at work there have been quite a few jokes about my quitting and/or being fired. The latter doesn't concern me so much because I feel that if they tease me about it, then the idea of it must be absurd. And it's usually done in a very light way. For example, when my swipe card stopped working they're cutting costs by not using pink slips; I'm supposed to just take the hint.

What does bother me, though, is jokes about my quitting. This is because it's certainly a possibility, or possibly a certainty. It's a question of when, not if. And it's definitely uncomfortible in front of a larger group of people. For example, at yesterday's staff meeting I mentioned how I would be out of the office for two weeks for my exam and a trip home to PA. A consultant jokingly asked if I had purchased a return ticket back to Milwaukee. I didn't tell them that there's a good chance I'll be talking to my dad about whether he plans on my ever working for the family business. To be fair, morale in the office is low and most people talk openly about quitting or applying to other firms. I'm not the only one who people suspect; I'm just the most likely candidate.

This also follows an episode I had with the office manager the other day while driving to a client meeting. We were talking about the restaurants of Milwaukee and when he mentioned the only 5-star, which happens to be down the street from me, I said that it is "one of the places I want to try before leaving Milwaukee."

"You're planning on leaving Milwaukee?" he asked.

I'm not sure if my reply was intelligible with my foot in my mouth. Oops.

Linguistics Question

In other languages where most nouns have gender, what do people do if the nickname of a person has a gender different than the sex of the person. This wouldn't really be a problem for nicknames based on adjectives or animals whose genders can change. But what about nicknames based on inanimate objects. For example, Tom Delay is known as "the hammer." If hammer is feminine, wouldn't that cause problems? (I wish I knew of a good example, where the gender and sex do not match. The Hammer in Spanish is El Martillo.) Let me know if you have an answer or a good example.

Ya got trouble, my friends

With a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "P"
And that stands for Pool.

I swim every day before work. The gym is close to my apartment, so I'm usually in the water within fifteen minutes of waking up. I'm usually groggy. And I never have my glasses on. I normally don't talk to the other regulars for this reason, as well as I'm not there to make friends; I just want to get my workout and get out. Because I don't talk to the other people, I don't know their names. Actually most of them I wouldn't recognize if I saw them on the street. I usually recognize other swimmers by their swim suits or their movements - their gaits and strokes. Few of them have I been close enough for my near-sighted eyes to make out facial features. Most of them I have nick-names for, such as "Mr. Red Speedo", "Swims with Closed Fist", and "Little Napolean."

However, this has begun to change. One of them introduced herself to me. She's very nice. I always knew she was thoughtful, though; she's a good lane-sharer. Now I feel like I have to greet her every morning though. And it's a slippery slope. She must be the society glue of the 6:30 pool, because she seems to know everyone else's names too. And she uses them. And I think she's trying to get all of us to use them. This sounds fine on paper, but I don't really want to be chummy with my fellow swimmers. Besides the fact that I'm not there to make friends, the gym provides many awkward moments in the mornings. For example, I don't want to chit-chat about the weather with Mr. Red Speedo after he's taken off said speedo.

I don't mind pleasantries. I'm good at banter. But my main goal while swimming is to breathe, not stop and ask how the knee of the guy in the lane next to me is doing today. However, I'm worried that if I continue my solitude among all of the other regulars, I will come off as stuck-up and rude.

I don't wanna rock, DJ.

Jake is out of town for the week.
I'm in full study mode. Life contingencies rock.
The weather is beautiful, but I'm inside.

Sometimes I dance. And I ignore the walls of floor-to-ceiling windows and I give the people in the building next to me a free show. MJ is in heavy rotation. (It don't matter if you're black or white.) But today I also played a favorite mix CD which included Robbie Williams and Outkast.

SPF

Today I received my first sunburn of the season. I took the day off from work to study. I actually did study for 6 hours. Two of those hours were at a picnic table in the park. Some days my job is very stressful, but any day that I get paid to study math and enjoy the outdoors is a good day.

Eboni

One of the check-out girls at my grocery store has acquired teeth! Well, she now has gold(-plated metal) in her mouth where teeth used to be. I don't know if the bling will be more distracting than the gaping holes.

Study Break

I am supposed to be studying. I'm being paid for 4 hours of studying today but I've only actually clocked about 3. I'm taking a break and thinking about going for a walk. But first I thought I would do some recognizance work, and look at the site I found! Wisconsin - what a state! How can I not go for a walk now and counter all those spent calories with custard?

An Indian, an Asian, and a Caucasion walk into the Islamic Center of Milwaukee. Is this the beginning of a joke? No, it was the beginning of my weekend.

Jake, Katie, and I went to the Open House at the Islamic Center on Saturday. However, when we got there we noticed a huge banner on the building that read "Open House: May 6th". Oops, who messed up the dates? We went inside anyway and made sure that they would welcome us the following weekend. The woman we talked to was very nice and we plan to go back next week. "Free refreshments. Bring your friends," The woman said. The Muslims are very friendly.

Even though we missed the Islamic Center, I managed to straddle many cultures this weekend. I ate Mexican food and sushi. I bought a Rush Greatest Hits album. I studied at the art deco coffee shop in town. And I was pulled over for speeding for my first time.

Bad Day

Even my bad days aren't that bad.

On Monday, my office manager and the consultant for the majority of my projects came back from their vacations. That was when they checked their e-mail and voicemail and found out about my big mistake that our client caught last week. (I sent 80 letters to Union workers stating that they have a benefit that they don't really have. So, sue me. Oh wait, they could.) My bosses decided to have a meeting to discuss how we can fix our process so that these mistakes don't happen next year. (There were actually multiple mistakes this year, but I won't go into details because they're tedious. read: embarrasing) They were very polite and they used all of the PC words so that I wouldn't take the blame for my mistake. "We're not blaming you. We need to work on the process." I didn't take it personally. I know mistakes are made. We do plenty of good work for this client. I know I do good work for this client. Also, our data is very bad. And too many of the data's problems are caught just because I work with it so much. But no matter how friendly my bosses can admonish me, it was still a crappy meeting to sit through.

Then at our staff meeting we discussed how the new hire has decided not to work with us come June. Great. And this means that all of the best candidates have already taken jobs. I also took this opportunity to point out that the last candidate that they interviewed this late in the year was me. "And look where that got us." retorted a snarky coworker. I set myself up some days.

When I got back to my desk, I had a message from my friend in the Chicago office, Jison. She told me that she has decided to move back to Korea - the first weekend of May. This isn't so Earth-shattering except that we were hired together and it reminded me of how many of my peers have already quit our firm.

It's funny how events like this make my job tougher, but it also puts me in a better position. There is so much work to be done at my level, I get to choose my projects. My bosses and peers are afraid to lose me too, so everyone is very nice to me. These days, even the bad days aren't so bad.

Sum of the Weekend

3 miles running
1 mile swimming
7 miles walking (for MS)

40 blocks walking (round-trip) for a hot dog.

One baseball game x half-price + 4 hot dogs x $1 each.
X Four guys

One blind date = nothing to report.

2 Burgers

One Book Club Meeting

Two roommates + Mr. Clean + Dirty Apartment = "CleanFest 2006"

3 times heard MJ's greatest hits - including "Man in the Mirror"

Summertime Goals

With only two-thirds of spring remaining, I have begun a list of goals to accomplish during summer 2006. Please feel free to suggest any other activities that I should try while "the livin' is easy and the fish are jumpin.'"


Read Proust.

See a Rush Tribute band (in addtion to Light Up, the Styx tribute band).

Visit California.

Visit the Wisconsin Dells.

Have a drunken party and not remember part (most) of it.

Run in the Sausage Race. Beat 3 sausages.

Open an IRA.

Ride with the Ditty Bops on their Bike across America tour.

Self-Improvement

Today while walking home, I decided that it's about time that I learn to pronounce "milk" correctly. I have always pronounced it like "melk", which was never corrected until I went away to college. Then the university-educated snobs in my company began to laugh at me. Specifically, Cory, but I remember a few people making remarks about my pronounciation and then asking me to repeat the words again so that everyone could hear my distortion. Of course, finding out how different parts of the country pronounce things was one of the ways we kept ourselves amused during meal times. It especially helped that Jackie was studying linguistics, and she would explain why our sounds were different anatomically. Our fun was multiplied when John joined our group and brought along his slight Southern accent. I remember we spent most of our dinner at the House of Blues analyzing how he says "pink." Somehow, he gets an aitch (h) in there. I know how to spell "aitch" because that was a word on the National Spelling Bee when it was broadcast on ESPN a few years back. The kid actually asked them for alternative definitions of "aitch"! It's the eighth letter of the alphabet, kid, what more do you want?

But back to my walk home. I have decided to start my lessons by repeating the phrase "mint milkshake." I think that both i's are to sound the same, but currently they do not. To emphasize the difference in how I currently pronounce "milk" to the proper way, I will repeat "do not melt the milkshake." I'm not sure if I feel more like Henry Higgins or Eliza Doolittle.

Easter

Christie, Justin, and I spent Easter together. Christie made turkey and stuffing. And a yam. We used old napkins that had the message "Happy New Year!" on them. It was a confusing holiday. After dinner, we read the newspaper and napped.

work

I'm at work at 10:30 p.m. because I'm trying to get some stuff done without any interuptions. And my boss comes up to me and gives me something to do! It 11 o'clock. Do you really think I'm sitting here because I'm looking for work? I have sixteen hours remaining in this week to send 3,500 benefit statements, prepare 6 calculations, prepare a valuation's data (which took me 20 hours last year), and conduct my normal weekly activities. And he gives me something more to do.

My mentor wants to meet with me to discuss how to get junior staff more engaged in the office. Sometimes his questions are hilarious.

Tyrone Tuesdays

Tyrone and I go to the library together each Tuesday night to study. He's my mentee through a YMCA program. He's a high school sophomore. His grades are dropping. So we study together. Well, he does his homework and I study for my next exam. We meet at the library once each week. We spend about 90 minutes there and then we go out for dinner.

Tonight, I had him make flashcards for Spanish. We talked a good deal about his studies tonight. He's smarter than I thought he was. Of course, his education is very poor, but at least I'm learning that he's clever and I think he's enjoying the silly word and number games that I've been messing around with. I'm not doing anything ground-breaking and to most of us that came from good high schools, we would think of these drills as tedious, but they're new to Tyrone and I think he appreciates working on "adult-type" of work.

For example, tonight we conjugated words like "to go" and "to be." First in Spanish, and then in English. Sadly, he was better at the Spanish. Slowly, I'm going to break him of his "I be" and "he be" speech patterns. We thought of funny ways to remember the genders of his vocabulary. And we talked about parts of speech. And I really mean we did. It wasn't just me talking about articles. Once he had the concept, he wanted to know how articles worked in English too.

Then I started to quiz him on acronyms, and I don't know how we got there. We talked about SCUBA, HIV/AIDS, etc. I then told him that Ford stood for Fixed or Repaired Daily. He thought that was funny and then tried to come up with one for Dodge. Those are the types of word games I'm trying to encourage.

Oh, and at dinner, he almost got the tip right. At least now, he knows what percentage to give. If only I could get his math correct.

Good word

Today's word of the day is defenestrate.

When in Milwaukee...

"I did the Polka at Art's Concertina Bar" reads the sign I received last night at said Concertina Bar. Art claims that his is "the only Concertina Bar in the U.S.A." I find this difficult to believe given the crowd at Art's. Doesn't every American city have a mature (read: geriatric) Polish subculture that needs to polka? That needs to drink beer from 8 ounce glasses? That needs to sing along with such classics as "Who stole the kieshka?" or "She's too fat for me"?

Art also gave us a copy of the band schedule for April, which includes concertina artists all the way from Shawano and Stevens Point, Wisconsin. As much as Mick, Christie, and I made fun of the little bar with a lot of spirit, I think we may go back. It reminded me so much of the bars back in Scranton, especially the ones that my Grampa goes to. The music was good and the people were friendly, well, the ones that were awake. I think we're planning to go to the Polka lessons that are offered every Wednesday evening. We'll make a night of it. Art advertises that he's open until 3 a.m. even though I would guess that the majority of his patrons last night were home in time to see the weather report on the 10 o'clock news.

On Friday night, I went out for Fish Fry. Fish Fry Fridays are big in Milwaukee, and not just during Lent. Every restuartant has fish specials on Fridays here. Even the Greek counter down the street has one. They come in all types, from the huge beer halls to the trendy little night clubs. I went to one of the trendy ones. I was not dissappointed.

Tomorrow I am not going to work. It's Opening Day and I'm taking a vacation day. Opening Day is big in Milwaukee. It's one of the few days that Miller Park sells out. So much of a Brewers game is unique to Milwaukee. I know that baseball (and all sports) is usually related to beer. But I think that relationship is a little stonger at Miller Park when one is watching the Brewers. Tailgating is such a central part to the game. We watch giant sausages race around the infield. We do a polka during the seventh inning stretch. And this year, there's some extra excitement about the Brewers. They're young and talented. We're going to the play-offs. Hope springs eternal.

Busy

Work is super-busy. I'm not getting to bed at a reasonable hour, and even when I do sleep it's not very relaxing. Fitting in the studying and having fun is tough. It reminds me of my busy days in college. The overtime pay is nice though.

I saw two concerts recently - The Ditty Bops and Nickelcreek, which was fantastic, again. And tonight I saw the 5 Browns. They are five siblings who play five pianos simultaneously. They were good - a pleasant way to spend an evening, but nowhere near the Bops or NC.

This weekend I went with a group of friends up to Cedarburg to take a winery tour. It wasn't much different from a brewery tour except that brewery tours never explain to you the proper way of ordering a beer. After the brewery we shopped around Cedarburg. I made the group of people stop at the Rock Shop. Then we went to Don's Resale and Antique Store. It's in the basement of the Seed 'n' Feed. It is amazing how much junk fits in that basement - I mean, store. Parts of cars, broken umbrellas, fixed-up lawn-mowers, chairs, tools, lamps. If you can't find it at Don's, then you don't need it. We bought a broken lamp. We're going to rewire it. It's our project for next week. And I'm excited about it.

jazz

Mick and I found a great jazz bar tonight. I think it may become a regular hangout for us on Thursdays.

8 drinks

I was just going to post about how good I was this weekend and how I hardly had anything to drink. But then I really thought about it and realized that I had 8 drinks over the weekend. Somehow, that was a light weekend.

Friday night, Christie, Justin, and I did non-Irish things. We went for dinner at P. F. Chang's. Then we went bowling. Ok, then we went to a bar, but it was already the 18th by then. Saturday was uneventful. A little studying. A little swimming. Lunch with the intense intern. Garrison Keillor. Dinner with coworkers for a 30th birthday party. Then we went out to play pool and darts. The girls had the pool table first. They played for 75 minutes. They played one game. On average, each ball took 5 minutes to sink. Of course, if you also count their scratches they averaged one ball every 3 minutes. My highlight of the night was when I pulled my dart team back in the game with 4 bull's eyes on 3 darts. It felt great.

This morning I taught the Sunday School class for Senior High. I am extremely motivated to mobilize the youth in our church. I want my church to succeed. And I think a good place to start is with the kids. There were 6 in class today. I'm going to try to organize some events to do with them. And I'm definitely planning some lessons for the Sunday School.

Mick and Christie came over for dinner tonight. I talked a good deal about church. I think I have Mick on board for whipping our church into shape. And perhaps we can convince Christie to join us too. To join the good fight.

Dance like a Peanut

Last Friday, a bunch of us went dancing at Retro Night. Most of the music comes from the 80s for Retro Night and this week I actually recognized most of the songs. We decided that we would go dancing over the weekend after Jake, Katie, and I spent Wednesday night listening to Michael Jackson songs and dancing like our favorite Peanuts characters.

My favorite is the one that bops his head from from shoulder to shoulder while lifting his arms to one side. Katie's really good at walking in place with her arms straight in front of her. Jake told us how his favorite character is "Penpal."

Ok, I just looked for my favorite dancer and it seems that I made him up. He wasn't on the show. I suppose I imagined him. Maybe the imaginary dancer's name is "Penpal."

Busy

I'm taking full advantage of my company's overtime policy these days. I'm going in a little early and staying late. I have plenty of work that I don't even think I'll be able to finish by the deadlines, but noone will be able to say that it was for a lack of trying. Of course, some things are losing my attention because of this extra time at the office like blogging and sleeping.

However, I have been able to start up some new activities. Tyrone and I are meeting at the library on a regular basis. He needs to start focusing on his studies or he's going to go nowhere fast. And I need to prepare for my May exam too.

The weather was nice enough this weekend that Jake and I went to the tennis court twice. He played in high school, so he was able to give me some pointers - especially because it's been a year since I last touched my racquet.

I'm getting a little bit more involved at church. I went on a weekend retreat two weeks ago and got to know some of the other congregants. They also got to know me and I think have more respect for me now. This past Sunday I stayed for a meeting after church to discuss the Youth programs for the church. I got a fed up with some of the discussion and I think I may have shown some of my anger. Of course, this only led to me signing up for things that I may not be ready for. But I can't really see myself doing worse than the current situation.

Jake is out of town for the next two weeks. Maybe this'll give me some time to focus on getting things in order. Actually it's more likely to cause me to get anxious and I'll get less done at home. It seems that when he's gone, I'm less likely to be at home. It's not that we spend so much time together. It's just lonely to spend all day at work and then the evenings in the apartment. I'd rather head off to the library or a coffeeshop or the gym.

Laundry

I can't believe how much lint my clothing creates in the dryer. I bet after 4 loads I have enough to make another shirt. Which leads me to wonder why I don't lose a shirt after every 4 loads.

I realized that some of my new undershirts have holes in them. Extra holes besides the neck and arm holes. But then I thought to myself, "Summer's coming. And I'll appreciate the extra ventilation.

Should I wash my clothes before throwing them out? And I mean really throwing them out, not just giving them to Goodwill. It just feels weird either way - to take off the clothes and put them straight into the garbage can or to wash them and dump them in the laundry room. In the former case, I think to myself that I had just worn them, they were perfectly good clothes five minutes ago, and now suddenly they're trash. In the latter case, I always rationalize that I just spent money and time to wash the article of clothing, now I have to wear it once more.

The moral of the story is that I don't throw out clothes. Even if they're worn thin because of the copious amounts of lint that accumulate after each washing. Even if they have holes in them. My room is going to fill up with clothes. This is another reason to lose weight. Smaller clothes will take up less room and give me more time before they fill my room.

Have you been Ditty Bopped?

I have tickets to see the Ditty Bops again. They're opening for Nickel Creek. This time I've convinced some people to go with me though. Details to follow.

Find out what it means to me

While I was in Alaska last summer, I missed our Respect at Work training. Now, eight months later, I have to spend my morning watching a video about how to interact appropriately with my coworkers. There have been quite a few comments around the office about how finally the Streak of Donny's Disrespect will finally come to an end. I think I'm going to address the training facilitator as "toots" and see what happens. She's the same one who talked to me for an hour at the holiday party and, I later found out, was too drunk to remember any of it.

Viva la Milwaukee.

Still a suck-up

A woman from my hometown - Moscow, PA - received the Newbury Honor Award this year for Children's Literature. I'm a big fan of kids' lit. so when I saw her book on the ALA website, I read it, and then sent her a note to congratulate her. I probably haven't talked to this woman since she was my eighth grade homeroom teacher. However, her family went to my church and her son graduated with me. His and my circles also intersected once in a while. I knew that she would recognize me, and it wouldn't be outrageous for her to receive a card from me.

I didn't know the address, but I only had to fill out her name and the zip code and I knew it would reach her. How can one not love small towns? The mailman has four boys. My mom used to baby-sit them until the fourth was born. She said she wouldn't be able to handle that manyboys under 6! The mailman's father went rafting with me in the Grand Canyon a few years ago. He's a cool guy. I'm not sure what he did for a living, but it involved the government's relationship with the public. His biggest project over the years was Centralia, PA. That the town, under which the coal mines have been burning for decades. Slowly the government has been buying people's houses before they fall into the burning inferno (literally). However, there are still some die hard Centralians who refuse to move. Most of them are old, so now we're just waiting for them to die.

But I digress, which is easy to do when one talks about the politics of small town America.

I sent a card. I received a reply. My card was pleasant, maybe even funny. Her reply heartfelt and properly punctuated. But I question the last line. What am I supposed to imply from it? It reads: "What a crew we had in homeroom that year...that was the year that made me decide I wanted to write full time!"

While I appreciate the thought that I played a pivotal role in her celebrated career. I'm not sure if I want that role.

Job Hunt

All good blogs have at least one Fart Post. This will be mine.


If...whom am I kidding...When I look for my next job, I will look for one at which I can fart. Cubicles are not fart-friendly. The neighbors can hear you. The half-walls, while good for ventilation, do not keep the scent from people walking by. And it's far too easy for one's boss (or Cute Girl) to walk into the cube moments after an SBD has been launched. I don't know if I can continue to digest food in this environment. I eat healthily. A lot of green vegetables. Beans. Maybe it's the lactose. But for whatever the reason, I dread the afternoon because of the somersaults my stomach turns after lunch.

I want a job where bodily noises aren't noticed, like on a airport run-way. Or I need a job out in the open, like in a forest preserve. Or perhaps where strange smells are not out of the ordinary, like a laboratory. Or I could look for a job at the trifecta of these characteristics - the landfill.

Confession time: now that I live in a strange city, a city in which I don't plan to spend the rest of my life, sometimes I just let one rip in public. Sometime I figure the guy walking down the street will just assume the sound was the scuffing of my shoe. Or I'll be in the mall and just assume that if I keep a straight face, noone will think it's me. If they figure it out...so what. It's not like they've never had to do it.

As my Aunt Janine says, "It's better to bear the shame, than to bear the pain." How true.

Holey Bread

Can I return a loaf of bread to the supermarket because it has too large of a hole in the center of it? Seriously, the hole is as big as fist. Making sandwiches or toast would be ridiculous. There is no bread - just crust. I would feel silly returning it. But the supermarket manager might get a kick out of it.

A Cup of Tchai

I had one of my most pleasant evenings tonight.

Jake, Christie, and I went to the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra after work. The concert hall is only a few blocks down the street from us. We bought tickets at the door and they were relatively cheap.

This weekend the MSO is playing a Tchaikovsky concert, but on the Thursdays they play a shorter version of the weekend program. We heard a little bit of an opera, the "March Slav," a piano concerto, and the "1812 Overture." The concert was just long enough. There was a commentator onstage during the performance and before each song, he would give little facts about the upcoming piece. It was great. And who doesn't like Tchaikovsky? I think he's my favorite composer.

After the show, they had complimentary desserts and coffee at the hotel across the street. We helped ourselves twice. My dinner tonight consisted mostly of cannoli and chocolate-covered strawberries. And I washed them down with Jack and Coke. The hotel is classy and as we were still in our business casual dress, we felt like actual adults.

We had some funny stories and decided that Thursday nights at the Symphony should become a new tradition. Especially because the next concert is titled "Barbara Streisand's Songbook." Eh, maybe we'll skip next week.

Dear Abby

My roommate, "Drake," and I get along great. We didn't know each other before we moved in together, but things have worked out swimmingly. For example, I had enough stuff to furnish the entire apartment (except for his bedroom) and he had nothing except for bedroom furniture when he moved to the city. We haven't had any fights yet and I know I would feel comfortible approaching him with any problems that I had about our living arrangements.

Four months ago, for Drake's birthday, his girlfriend, "Sadie," gave him twelve martini glasses. They are very nice and he uses them often because he usually drinks cocktails in the evening. (He lives in Milwaukee but doesn't like beer!) When he first received them we joked about not having any room to store them in the cupboard, but not to worry about it because we were sure to break some of them soon. This weekend, after four months, the first glass was broken.

And I was the one to break it. while I was washing dishes. his dishes. Well, they're actually my dishes, except for the broken glass, but it was his dirty dishes. But I was washing them. And one broke. He wasn't home at the time but I told him afterwards. He laughed and said he was surprised it hadn't happened earlier.

Do I replace the broken glass? Or give him money for it? Would I give him one-twelfth of the price of the entire set? I just thought about this today. I hadn't even considered giving him money. I hadn't even offered. It just seems like we share the household stuff and I wouldn't expect him to pay me if he broke something like a dish or a glass. But I feel differently about single ticket items, like a TV or a book.

Which leads me to the next twist. A month ago, Sadie borrowed a book of mine. She spilled something on it or dropped in the sink - she got it wet - and instead of returning it damaged, she bought me a new one. I wish she hadn't done that though, because, really, I'm not going to read it again.

So, I feel that a precident has been set. But a book, easily found and purchased, is different than one of a dozen martini glasses.

Not a defeat, nor an embarassment

Last Friday I slept in a church.

Jake and Katie are trying to start a Youth Group in their church for high school kids. They organized a Lock-In. They were going to go Midnight Bowling - despite the "lock-in" name they would be going out. They planned this for weeks. But then, at the last minute, actually the last 8 hours, Katie became sick. They needed another adult to chaperone, so they asked me. Of course, I said Yes, otherwise, this would be a pointless posting going nowhere. (When I was little, I had so much trouble with that last word. I wanted to read it as "now here." Secretly I still do.)

Jake and I arrived at the church early. I scoped out the place so that I would feel comfortable. Then the kids started to arrive. All three of them. Three. And one was technically not in the proper age group. He's 19 but not in college and Jake just wants to be a positive influence for him. So, we sort of had 2-1/2 kids. And 2 chaperones. Jake wanted to cancel, but I asked him to stick with it. We have no idea what sort of positive influence we might have on these kids.

We all talked. We ordered pizza. I went to pick it up. I lost Jake's credit card along the way. Oops. I went looking for the lost credit card. I didn't find it. We decided to go for a drive. We drove around until the bowling began. We ended up singing along with the radio including the Four Non-Blondes. Bowling was fun but I was tired. The night went well. We watched Office Space until everyone fell asleep. I'm not sure if we changed any lives this weekend, but I certainly don't think anyone is worse off than when they woke up on Friday morning.

Stood Up

I was supposed to go out for lunch with my boss today. But he stood me up for a marketing meeting. But that was ok. We'll go some other time. And this gave me a chance to catch up on some work during that lunch hour.

They made me do it.

Four Jobs I've Had:
1. Book store clerk / Calendar Man
2. French Fry Artist at the BK Lounge
3. Upward Bound Tutor to the stars
4. Deli Clerk (and sometimes Lobster handler when the seafood lady was on lunch)

Four Movies I Can Watch Over And Over
1. LOTR
2. The Blues Brothers
3. Austin Powers
4. Love, Actually

Four Places I Have Lived
1. Jessup, PA
2. Moscow, PA
3. Boston, MA
4. Milwaukee, WI (no more commonwealths for me!)

Four TV Shows I Love ("Love" is a strong word)
1. Law & Order (when the cast included Benjamin, Jerry, Stephen, Angie, Sam, and Epatha)
2. Ducktales
3. M*A*S*H
4. The West Wing (Seasons I - III)

Four Places I've Vacationed
1. Greece - Athens, Santorini, Delphi, Rhodes, Mykonos, Istanbul (not in Greece)
2. Myrtle Beach
3. Alaska
4. Grand Canyon

Four Of My Favorite Dishes
1. Frank (Mexican Lasagna? It needed a name. Cory thought "Frank" sounded good.)
2. Mom's Christmas Eggs
3. Turkey on white toast w/ lettuce and mayo
4. Sushi is good

Four Sites I Visit Daily
1. Guaranty Bank (just to be sure my money is still there)
2. Our firm's client interface
3. milwaukee.craigslist.org
4. Tom's Blog (because he links to everyone else's)

Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now
1. Camping at the old Hunting Cabin
2. 18A's table in the dining hall
3. The Olympic Countess
4. Dancing with my friends

The Comeback Post Part II

My computer is back with a vengence.

Sushi

Jake and I went for a sushi dinner last night at the local tres chic Japanese/Korean bar. We had a great time. I don't think I've ever been so full on sushi. The highlight of the evening for Jake was the four transvestites that were also dining there. My back was to the room so I didn't get to see them. We also enjoyed watching our cute waitress work her magic on all of the guys in the room. I have to admit though: we also tipped her more than we should have.

Treat Day

Yesterday was my Treat Day at work. Every Tuesday we all take turns to bring in a treat for everyone else in the office. With about 30 coworkers, one's Treat Day occurs a little over twice a year. Treats are usually bagels, donuts, or homemade baked goods.

This week, it was my turn. I had hoped to design a treat that would coincide with the State of the Union Address. You know, little telephone-shaped cookies or gingerbread men with large ears. However, I could not come up with something clever, so I fell back on the old safety - N&N Cookies (names have been changed for trademark reasons).

Sunday evening I went to the grocery store and picked up my supplies. I prepared two batches. It took me at least 2 hours and I ate quite a few cookies during the process. I messed up the recipe by mixing the ingredients in the wrong order. They didn't look right and when they were baking they began to burn. So, I took them out of the oven earlier than the recipe called for. They looked a little funny, as I earlier wrote, but they tasted fine. I went to bed - no problem. I almost left a note for Jake and Katie to try them in the morning, but thank heavens I didn't.

I woke up on Monday morning just fine. I trudged over to the gym and did my 36 laps (My new minimum - Hurrah!) However, during my final lap I had an incredible urge to get to the bathroom. Right. Then. Immediately. I hopped out of the pool - literally. I skipped a shower. I'm also going to skip the next part of the story with only the comment that gyms with pools should develop "water friendly toilet paper."

I continued along with my morning ritual. Dry off, contacts, avoid the naked old men, try not to sing along with the radio - you know, the usual. Ten minutes later I was back at home. And I immediately made my way to the bathroom. Ok. Something was wrong. I decided not to go to work as I didn't like the idea of running to the men's room at random times. And I have never used a sick day before, so it would be somewhat of an adventure.

The strange thing was, though, that I didn't feel sick. I was already wide awake, so I wasn't going back to bed. I took the opportunity to clean my bathroom. And then the kitchen. And then my room. I talked to Jake and Katie, who had eaten dinner with me the night before but they were fine. So, I figured that it must have been the undercooked cookies. I'm glad that I didn't serve them to the whole office. Well, sort of glad. It would have been a funny experience, especially because it wasn't painful and I never felt sick.

I'm only comfortable telling you this story because everyone at work already knows it. I had ended up going in to the office in the afternoon and my coworkers were nervous about me spreading my germs. So, to keep them from ostracizing me, I had to explain that it was something I made. I then had to promise them that I would buy my treat and not bake for Treat Day.

Wrapped up in Books

I'm currently reading East of Eden by John Steinbeck, and I love it. I'm only half-way through it (300 pages) but I'm pretty sure it will be amongst my favorites. This got me to thinking about what books I would list as my top choices. I could never pick one favorite, but I'm pretty sure that I have a top 5. So, here, in no particular order, are my Top 5 Favorite Novels:

1. The Return of the Native
2. Love in the Time of Cholera
3. 1984
4. To Kill a Mockingbird
5. East of Eden (pending)

There is nothing ground-breaking or unexpected about these. I think they could be found on a good number of people's short lists. They're classics. I can pick them up at any time at any point in the book and start reading, and I am pulled into the plot automatically.

I think of their characters as real people. I wish I knew them: Atticus, Diggory, Winston, Fermina. I want to know more about them. I want to go to out for a drink with them. Well, except for Scout and Jem. Maybe I could hang out at the mall with those two, or probably the courthouse, they seemed to enjoy that. The Hamiltons and the Trasks are keeping me company during these past few balmy Wisconsin winter nights. But I have a feeling I'm going to be visiting with them again in the future.

The Comeback Post Part 1

Oh, there's so much pressure to write. And there's pressure to make it a good post, even though I don't know what precedent would have set up that expectation. My last two weeks have been busy but I don't know what events to talk about. A good deal happened, but I don't know how post-worthy it is.

Jake and I threw a party. It was a success - no vomitting. Huzzah. But we still have that bottle of Gordon's vodka that nobody wants to drink.

I went to Washington D.C. to visit KT. It was good. KT worked on Friday so I had the day to get my touristy things out of the way. I started at the zoo. The mane wolf smelled like a skunk. I watched the elephants get their baths (for 45 minutes - it was cool.) The weather was warm so that I didn't even need a jacket. It was perfect for walking around the Mall. I visited Abe and the Korean War Memorial. I walked past the White House and heckled the president (under my breath (Don't roll your eyes. As if he would have heard me if I had yelled it anyway.)). I saw the National Archives, and I still don't see how Nick Cage could have stolen the Dec. of Indo. I learned how astronauts use a toilet in space. I compared the diceratops to the triceratops. And I learned about Sikhs.

I met KT for dinner. Sushi! I didn't tell her that I had also had sushi for lunch until after the meal. I didn't care. It was very good. We went for drinks at the zoo bar, aptly named as it is across the street from the zoo. However, the name is where the zoo-theme ended. Adina and Tyler both called me that night, which was timely because KT and I had spent so much time talking about our freshman year of college over our beers, which were Yuenglings, by the way.

On Saturday, we took the bus out to the National Arboretum. We looked at trees. I enjoyed it, but really, what more can I say?

That evening KT's friends came over and we cooked dinner together. We experimented with pretzel coated chicken and it was a major success. The highlight of dinner was when KT's boyfriend, Brody, laughed so suddenly that milk came out his nose. By middle school standards, this made the evening a huge success. But by adult standards, it had been successful much earlier than that.

That evening we went out. We met up with some more of KT's friends at one of the hot spots of the D.C. nightlife. The place we ended up seemed to have more men than women at it. It was a little strange to be dancing with so many guys. Luckily I was with a group of girls, but still, it was strange.

On Sunday we went to the National Cathedral, which is also within walking distance of KT's apartment. It was Oklahoma Day, which meant that they had a choir from Oklahoma, an Oklahoman Senator, a Native American chief, and other notable Okies, all in one service. But we didn't stay long because I had a flight to catch.

It was a nice vacation. Just long enough to see the sights and to visit with a good friend.

NAACP

I got lost on my way to the NAACP on Wednesday night. Why I was going, isn't important. I kept driving up and down Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Drive (Seriously, some people say the whole name everytime they talk about it.) but I could not find the office. I couldn't even find a respectable building besides a bank. And as the only black woman in my office said later, I was "deep in the 'hood" so I did not feel safe walking around to get a better view of the addresses.

I eventually found a library, the Martin Luther King Library. (Despite its juxtaposition to a police station, this is the branch of the Milwaukee Public Library that had a shooting at it.) I went inside and asked for directions to the NAACP. The security guard directed me to the reference desk, where the other white person in the room was seated. The librarian was helpful. We checked some websites, but eventually turned to the Address Listing Book, which is really cool. You just turn to an address and find out what's there. It's an artifact from PG - pre-google. It was incredible.

It turns out that the NAACP's office is in the basement of the bank. I found it, but I was fifteen minutes late. Better late than never.

Intervention

Last Friday I was to meet Mick and Kate for drinks at a local Irish pub after their dinner with Kate's family. Their friends would also be out so I'd have a chance to meet some more young Milwaukeeans.

I was sitting in my apartment alone, just waiting for the agreed time, so I decided to walk to the pub early. I would stop for dinner along the way and it would help kill the time. Well, the walk and pizza were not enough because I arrived too early. But no big deal - I'm confident. I'm secure. I can sit at a bar alone and wait for my friends. Of course I can - but not without drawing the attention of the bartenders.

The bar is cute. It has small rooms because it used to be a home. An Irish band plays in one of the rooms. There's a fireplace. And a host greets you when you enter and helps you to find an appropriate table for your party.

I sat down at the end of the bar and ordered a whiskey and coke. Just that afternoon, I had learned that I had not passed my actuarial exam from November so I was planning my next few months professionally. I thought I was just paranoid, but it seemed like the bartenders were watching and talking about me. After fifteen minutes or so, one of them, I think the owner, approached me. He asked, "How are you doing tonight? Is everything ok?"

"Yes, thank you. I'm good." And then I realized his concern wasn't that my glass was empty, his concern was that my life was empty. I quickly tried to exude confidence. I sat up straighter. I smiled, not just with my mouth, but my eyes too. I said, "Yeah, my friends are running late, but it's no big deal."

He probably didn't believe me; he said with a tone to imply deep concern, "Well if you need anything from us, you just let one of us know, ok?"

"Ok, thanks."

When Mick and Kate arrived, their friends already had a table in another room. Kate retrieved me from the bar and, as always, greeted me with a hug. As we walked to the next room, she ask me, "Why was that bartender grinning at us? What were you talking to her about?" I explained that I had not even talked to that particular bartender, but I don't think that she appreciated the story until we were leaving and all of the waitstaff waved to me and wished me a good night.

Some people have thought that the actions of the staff were strange, but I found them to be honorable. Despite their busy night, the workers were caring and genuine. It was refreshing to find strangers so concerned.