Finals are a Drag

The school year just won't end. Today was the second day of finals. Of the three upper-level classes I teach, I only had 2 students pass my final. I don't say that proudly. It's not a tough final. For example, the have to multiply binomials. Remember FOIL. I hate grading finals too, so I look for every reason to give students a zero. Talking, texting, sharing calculators, walking out of class. I say that I give them a zero as if that's different from the grade they'll receive if I take the time to score their tests. Most of my students scored less than a 40%. One even managed a 6. Seriously. Another question was to calculate 8% sales tax on a $120 pair of jeans. (I did not write this problem, as I would never spend that much on jeans, nor would I shop in a municipality that had such high sales tax. I'm looking at you Chicago.)

Also, one of my students dressed in drag for our final. With wig and heels. I always try to dress comfortibly for big exams. I don't know how he could have been comfortible. But now that I think about class today, I didn't really talk to him. I hope he doesn't think I was ignoring him for his attire. I was too busy dealing with the girls whose shorts were very inappropriate for school. So many clothing issues in just one class!

Evaluation

I didn't say anything when the vice principal sent me an apologetic memo to tell me that she would evaluate me this year.

I didn't say anything when the evaluation happened unannounced 2 weeks after it was due.

I didn't say anything (sarcastic) when the vice principal had to ask me my name when she showed up to evaluate me.

I didn't say anything when she left after 15 minutes of class.

I didn't say anything when she interrupted another class to have my sign the evaluation. She asked me "if I was busy". For the record, yes, I was busy. I was teaching a class.

I didn't say anything when she asked me again which math teacher I am.

However, when my evaluation says that I provide an "effective and deficient physical space" I have to ask, "What does that mean?" What was she trying to say? Did she confuse "deficient" with "efficient"? Everything in the evaluation is positive, although I question whether she's writing about me or the guy across the hall. I don't even know to whom I would bring this up. Except for my peers, so that we can laugh (and cry) at our situation.

Things I Have Confiscated from Shamika* in the Past Month

1. A Roobix Cube - I don't think this is its real name but it was the generic form of the brand name puzzle.

2. Nail clippers - She was clipping her nails during class and the other students found it disgusting.

3. The Watchtower - This is the publication put out by the Jehovah's Witnesses. Not that I was suppressing her religious expression, I just want her to learn about compound interest before she begins questioning me about the afterlife.

4. A Yard Stick - This was placed in her pants and she told me that she could not sit down because she couldn't bend her knees anymore.

5. A Goldfish - In a cup of water. How did that poor goldfish make it all the way to 6th period, I don't know. Did it make it to the end of the day? I don't know that either.

* Names have been changed to protect the innocent - me.