An open letter to teachers

Dear Teachers,

Today I stumbled upon a little trick that they won't teach you in your education classes. Wear a mullet wig to school and it will freak your kids out. It will freak them out so much that they will create a silence that normally only occurs when they have been lulled to sleep with the sweet, sweet lullaby known as the Segment Addition Postulate. However, what is different about this mullet-induced silence is that the students are fully aware - no, super-aware - of their surroundings. This is the chance to teach them something. They don't know what's going to come next from the teacher (and the thing on his head), so they're paying close attention. Be quick, though, the effect will only last for about 20 minutes, but that's about 15 minutes more than what has been provided all year.

The mullet wig can also provide some "teachable moments" as many students don't know much about the mullet, especially those students from the African-American community. This is a great way to broach topics such as hockey, NASCAR, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and Canada. Cultural diversity is a lesson that can be taught all year long at any age.

After the success of the mullet wig, I'm going to try some other methods to shock my students into learning. My ideas include full scuba gear, a handlebar moustache, and my machete. Please let me know if you have any ideas to share.

Happy Halloween,
Donny