I need my AGI from 2003 to file my taxes this year! I don't have that paperwork. I moved twice in the past year. So, now I'm waiting on the phone for an IRS representative so that they can send me my transcript from last year. So far, I've heard Fur Elise, Love's Theme, one of Vivaldi's seasons, and another song that I recognized but if I tried to hum it in the blog, you wouldn't understand it.
I have to file taxes in two commonwealths and a state this year. And I have to do the three of them manually. Huzzah.
Wednesday, March 30
Tuesday, March 29
pending doom
Again, today at work, I was the center of some office tension. People are fighting over me again. Turf battles are waging and I am the turf!!! Everyone wants to tell me what to do but there are only so many hours in the day for me to do stuff. I've heard rumors that emails have been sent to my supervisor, Deb, and she will be returning from her vacation tomorrow. So, I should be expecting to talk with her tomorrow about how my time is being portioned out amongst my client teams and projects. I will sit in front of her in fear. Yes, I am afraid of my manager, all 105 lbs of her (and 10 of those pounds are hair). I have no problem speaking to anyone one else in my firm. I can speak in front of large groups. I remain calm when talking to beautiful women. But Deb scares me. The fear is illogical; she's a very nice woman, whom everyone in the office likes and respects. Most times that I meet with her, she tells me good news like I've been hired, or I'm going to Chicago for a week, or I'm getting a raise.
I would like to trade this fear for some other type of phobia - like the fear of fish, Ichthyophobia. (Thanks, Tom.)
I would like to trade this fear for some other type of phobia - like the fear of fish, Ichthyophobia. (Thanks, Tom.)
DEA
My office shares the 10th floor with the Drug Enforcement Agency. They are the only people in the building with a more lax dress code than we have. They have a special, caged section of the parking garage for impounded cars. A midget works there.* Overall they seem to be a tough crowd but they have only been friendly to my coworkers and me when we cross paths in the hallway or the bathroom.
Back to the story: They have a few doors to their section of the floor. I've noticed that behind one of the doors appears to be some sort of examining room or maybe a processing room. As I walked past that room today I heard a man yelling, "Spit it out! Spit it out!" I've tried to imagine the different scenarios that would create this outcry at the DEA. Maybe I'll ask the next time I'm standing next to one of their workers at the urinals.
*I traded political correctness for honesty and straight-forward reporting. I only mention the midget because she startles me whenever I turn the corner and find a three-foot tall person waiting for the elevator. And then I imagine her conducting a drug bust and laying the smackdown on a bunch of coke-dealers - knocking them to the floor and cuffing their hands behind their backs as they wince in pain. And then she makes a smark aleck remark a la Law & Order - something along the lines of, "You're not in Kansas anymore, eh, cokehead?" or some other Oz reference to rebuke the drug fiends' initial smirks and comments at her size.
Back to the story: They have a few doors to their section of the floor. I've noticed that behind one of the doors appears to be some sort of examining room or maybe a processing room. As I walked past that room today I heard a man yelling, "Spit it out! Spit it out!" I've tried to imagine the different scenarios that would create this outcry at the DEA. Maybe I'll ask the next time I'm standing next to one of their workers at the urinals.
*I traded political correctness for honesty and straight-forward reporting. I only mention the midget because she startles me whenever I turn the corner and find a three-foot tall person waiting for the elevator. And then I imagine her conducting a drug bust and laying the smackdown on a bunch of coke-dealers - knocking them to the floor and cuffing their hands behind their backs as they wince in pain. And then she makes a smark aleck remark a la Law & Order - something along the lines of, "You're not in Kansas anymore, eh, cokehead?" or some other Oz reference to rebuke the drug fiends' initial smirks and comments at her size.
Monday, March 28
Easter
I met Jackie and Steve on Saturday evening in Chicago for dinner. Jackie was checking out Northwestern University after being accepted to its speech pathology department. Great food, great company; I wish we could do it all of the time. Jackie seems to be torn in the same way I was last year - should she plunge into a brand new section of the country, knowing full-well that she can go back home after a few years or should she stay where she's comfortable? As I drove back that evening I realized that I still don't know if I made the best decision in coming here. I thought I would know within a month or so like I knew when I was in college. Perhaps I won't know if Milwaukee was the right decision until after I've left here.
On Sunday, I slept in and skipped the sunrise service. Best decision ever. After church I went to the house of family from my church. They have two kids, both college-aged. Some other people were there from church, as well as some of their other friends who did not have extended family to spend the holiday with. It was a very friendly atmosphere - about twenty people in an older (100 years, at least) home, which means that the dining room was not very large. At one point during the meal I realized I was shouting so that the man next to me could hear me. Everyone was talking and laughing and having a good time. The bottles of wine certainly helped along that venue. I enjoyed our conversations greatly. We talked about local politics and other church-members who weren't there. We talked about our careers - their pros and cons. Most of the other people are involved in law or education or social work of some sort, so I was interested in what they had to say. After lunch their tradition is to watch The Life of Brian, however I had been invited to another(!) party at Ann and Andy's house in Waukesha.
Ann and Andy live with their parents, who moved to Wisconsin while they were both in college. After graduation, they didn't really have a hometown to go to so they came here. As it turns out their brother graduated with me at BU. I didn't know him while we were in school, but I've met him since and I have verified with some mutual friends that he really did graduate with me. Also, he's in my year book. (Not that I'm stalking him or anything. See West Campus Heartbreaker and Check out the Czech.) Anyway, I was only there for dessert. Some neighbors came by; we played Dumb Crambo and Egyptian Ratscrew. We talked about politics and the environment and Fatboy Slim.
I like these new people I've met in Milwaukee. They're nice. But they can't compare to the people I've left behind in Boston. Simply juxtapose my first Easter here to my first BU Easter. Four years ago was spent on Jesus Christ, Superstar, my first trip to MGH's emergency room, a taxi ride with Horse Girl, who talked about horses, which I'm sure didn't help Jackie's pain, and the Boston Marathon, during which Adina sat in the middle of Kenmore Square and read John Milton. This year, I tried to remember people's names.
I would like to go home once during this spring. I was thinking about how my family celebrates Easter and sits on my grandparents' backporch after the party. It's always the first time that we realize that the days are getting longer. And the air is chilly but you want to be outside as long as you can. The men in the family are in the living room, sleeping, or as they call it "watching the game." The kids run around - the big kids hiding plastic eggs filled with candy, the little kids finding them. We listen to the neighbors, especially the Italians next door, they're usually yelling, and they have four boys, who are always doing something that necessitates the yelling. Grandma asks for advice on what to do in the flowers, which prompts arguments from her children (my mom and her siblings). That generation always fights more than my own. We use chalk on the driveway and then Uncle Harry yells at us for making a mess of the cement and asphault. Eventually we'll all have to leave, not because there's school tomorrow (there isn't) but because the fathers have begun to wake up.
But we'll be back in a month or so for Mother's Day. And that evening on the porch is always a lot more fun. The Scranton Times publishes submitted pictures of area mothers and their children. On that day my family gathers around the enourmous Special Edition and we make fun of those ridiculous pictures. We're not an especially mean family, but on that day our cynicism really shines through. Strangely it's one of the strongest bonding experiences we have.
On Sunday, I slept in and skipped the sunrise service. Best decision ever. After church I went to the house of family from my church. They have two kids, both college-aged. Some other people were there from church, as well as some of their other friends who did not have extended family to spend the holiday with. It was a very friendly atmosphere - about twenty people in an older (100 years, at least) home, which means that the dining room was not very large. At one point during the meal I realized I was shouting so that the man next to me could hear me. Everyone was talking and laughing and having a good time. The bottles of wine certainly helped along that venue. I enjoyed our conversations greatly. We talked about local politics and other church-members who weren't there. We talked about our careers - their pros and cons. Most of the other people are involved in law or education or social work of some sort, so I was interested in what they had to say. After lunch their tradition is to watch The Life of Brian, however I had been invited to another(!) party at Ann and Andy's house in Waukesha.
Ann and Andy live with their parents, who moved to Wisconsin while they were both in college. After graduation, they didn't really have a hometown to go to so they came here. As it turns out their brother graduated with me at BU. I didn't know him while we were in school, but I've met him since and I have verified with some mutual friends that he really did graduate with me. Also, he's in my year book. (Not that I'm stalking him or anything. See West Campus Heartbreaker and Check out the Czech.) Anyway, I was only there for dessert. Some neighbors came by; we played Dumb Crambo and Egyptian Ratscrew. We talked about politics and the environment and Fatboy Slim.
I like these new people I've met in Milwaukee. They're nice. But they can't compare to the people I've left behind in Boston. Simply juxtapose my first Easter here to my first BU Easter. Four years ago was spent on Jesus Christ, Superstar, my first trip to MGH's emergency room, a taxi ride with Horse Girl, who talked about horses, which I'm sure didn't help Jackie's pain, and the Boston Marathon, during which Adina sat in the middle of Kenmore Square and read John Milton. This year, I tried to remember people's names.
I would like to go home once during this spring. I was thinking about how my family celebrates Easter and sits on my grandparents' backporch after the party. It's always the first time that we realize that the days are getting longer. And the air is chilly but you want to be outside as long as you can. The men in the family are in the living room, sleeping, or as they call it "watching the game." The kids run around - the big kids hiding plastic eggs filled with candy, the little kids finding them. We listen to the neighbors, especially the Italians next door, they're usually yelling, and they have four boys, who are always doing something that necessitates the yelling. Grandma asks for advice on what to do in the flowers, which prompts arguments from her children (my mom and her siblings). That generation always fights more than my own. We use chalk on the driveway and then Uncle Harry yells at us for making a mess of the cement and asphault. Eventually we'll all have to leave, not because there's school tomorrow (there isn't) but because the fathers have begun to wake up.
But we'll be back in a month or so for Mother's Day. And that evening on the porch is always a lot more fun. The Scranton Times publishes submitted pictures of area mothers and their children. On that day my family gathers around the enourmous Special Edition and we make fun of those ridiculous pictures. We're not an especially mean family, but on that day our cynicism really shines through. Strangely it's one of the strongest bonding experiences we have.
PCR Queen
In one of my CD cases I just found a blank CD from my biology lab last year. It's probably not blank; it most likely has the results of an experiment on it. The actual music-laden CD is nowhere to be found. This means that somewhere, there is a Real-Time PCR machine trying to play Queen's Fat-Bottomed Girls.
Thursday, March 24
the office
Are you going to watch The Office tonight? It's set in Scranton, PA. How can they go wrong?
Monday, March 21
intensive purposes
Someone at work pointed out that the phrase is "..for all intents and purposes." Not only do I say, "intensive purposes" but that's how I use it as well.
midnight train to georgia
More like the 6am train to Chicago. I'm seriously thinking about "accidentally" sleeping in and missing my train. It's not like it hasn't happened before. And the training is for Funding Basics, which doesn't exactly seem to be worth the trip - especially because funding requirements are going to change in the next year and I would wager that the instructor will not be well-prepared. However, I do like the opportunity to take a nap on the train and get paid overtime for it. Perhaps, I'll just see what happens.
This will be my first of two trips to Chicago this week. On Saturday, I will be driving there to meet Jackie and Steve. How appropriate to see Jackie over Easter weekend. Let's hope that this time her shoulder remains connected and we don't spend the day in the ER.
This will be my first of two trips to Chicago this week. On Saturday, I will be driving there to meet Jackie and Steve. How appropriate to see Jackie over Easter weekend. Let's hope that this time her shoulder remains connected and we don't spend the day in the ER.
Sunday, March 20
where's wanda
Tonight I answered the phone and an Asian guy on the other line says, "Uhh, hey, can I talk to Wanda?" Imagine I'm telling this story with my Raymond-voice because I assumed that this was Ray, trying to be a wise guy. Not to miss a trick I told him, "Sure, I'll go get her." -pause- then "hey, buddy, what's up?" But he didn't really respond and it was at this moment that I realized that the caller wasn't Ray. I explained the situation to him and he hung up on me. As I hung up the phone I asked myself, "How did I know he was Asian?"
potluck
Most of today is being spent cleaning up after my potluck party last night. I think it was a success. About 10 people came; we ate meatloaf & spinach salad (mine), bruschetta, guacamole, sticky rice, and apple cake (made by Andy's mom, but in his defense he cut up the apples). We played games and I think everyone had a good time. However, one person did fall asleep and normally I would account that to alcohol and not the company, but he hadn't had anything to drink.
My guests were fashionably late by about 30 minutes, but Jack and I started the party on time. I think this will be my new way of reducing the anxiety of the beginning of the party. I think it also sets a good atmosphere for the guests if the host is already half-way through the whisky by the time they arrive.
The purpose of this party was to empty my fridge. I had a lot of various beers - some only 3 or 4 bottles. I had a bottle of red wine, and the aforesaid bottle of JD. I cut up the vegetables that I had available for dipping and served the pretzels from my last get-together ( I think they were stale.) Anyway, people still brought alcohol, so my stock hasn't necessarily been depleted, just updated. I now have only Sierra Nevada, a bottle of white wine, and a bottle of Capt. Morgan.
It's also important to note that Dr. Evil made an appearance. I have life-sized, cardboard cut-out of the Mike Myers character(long story) and he stood in the corner of my living room all evening. A little creepy at first, I think my guests grew to love him. He's going back under my bed today; he's freaking me out. He's looking at me right now.
My guests were fashionably late by about 30 minutes, but Jack and I started the party on time. I think this will be my new way of reducing the anxiety of the beginning of the party. I think it also sets a good atmosphere for the guests if the host is already half-way through the whisky by the time they arrive.
The purpose of this party was to empty my fridge. I had a lot of various beers - some only 3 or 4 bottles. I had a bottle of red wine, and the aforesaid bottle of JD. I cut up the vegetables that I had available for dipping and served the pretzels from my last get-together ( I think they were stale.) Anyway, people still brought alcohol, so my stock hasn't necessarily been depleted, just updated. I now have only Sierra Nevada, a bottle of white wine, and a bottle of Capt. Morgan.
It's also important to note that Dr. Evil made an appearance. I have life-sized, cardboard cut-out of the Mike Myers character(long story) and he stood in the corner of my living room all evening. A little creepy at first, I think my guests grew to love him. He's going back under my bed today; he's freaking me out. He's looking at me right now.
Thursday, March 17
quitters
Two of my coworkers quit this week. My office only has about 30 (now 28) people working in it. The strange part is that most of my coworkers are unhappy with their current situations, due to new pay practices, the creation of a new company, cuts in benefits ect. People have been talking about quitting since I began. However, these two women were some of the least likely people to quit. So, now everyone is wondering, "Who's next?"
Tomorrow will be the first "going-away" lunch. Hopefully if people leave, the exits will be on good terms and nicely spaced so that I can continue getting free lunches.
Tomorrow will be the first "going-away" lunch. Hopefully if people leave, the exits will be on good terms and nicely spaced so that I can continue getting free lunches.
Wednesday, March 16
busy
I've been busy this week. Everyone is giving me things to do at work; overtime is common these days. Also, at home I tend to have my time filled. Here are some things that I've done this past week:
- Filled out most of my taxes. (Federal and WI. Still have PA and MA and local.)
- Prepared half of the data for one of our large international clients.
- Prepared Reconciliation Reports (three times) for the same client.
- Read 100 pages of the Mayor of Casterbridge.
- Made a new friend.
- Promised to get her drunk soon.
- Found out my mother supports Bush.
- Practiced problems from chapters 5 & 6 of The Theory of Interest.
- Organized a potluck dinner.
- Realized I don't know much about chapters 5 & 6.
- Swam 6 out of 7 mornings.
- Created an excel spreadsheet to monitor my swimming.
- Cracked the missing password at work to access "sensitive" information because the consultant couldn't find the email. (on my second try and after about 20 minutes of said consultant being in a tizzy)
- Called Kat.
- Started to look for an apartment/condominium.
- Made Beth a birthday card.
- Watched half of a season of West Wing.
I hope to get my act together soon so that I can make more meaningful poats. Hopefully then, too, they will be more interesting.
- Filled out most of my taxes. (Federal and WI. Still have PA and MA and local.)
- Prepared half of the data for one of our large international clients.
- Prepared Reconciliation Reports (three times) for the same client.
- Read 100 pages of the Mayor of Casterbridge.
- Made a new friend.
- Promised to get her drunk soon.
- Found out my mother supports Bush.
- Practiced problems from chapters 5 & 6 of The Theory of Interest.
- Organized a potluck dinner.
- Realized I don't know much about chapters 5 & 6.
- Swam 6 out of 7 mornings.
- Created an excel spreadsheet to monitor my swimming.
- Cracked the missing password at work to access "sensitive" information because the consultant couldn't find the email. (on my second try and after about 20 minutes of said consultant being in a tizzy)
- Called Kat.
- Started to look for an apartment/condominium.
- Made Beth a birthday card.
- Watched half of a season of West Wing.
I hope to get my act together soon so that I can make more meaningful poats. Hopefully then, too, they will be more interesting.
Tuesday, March 8
puke or smoothie
While living in West Campus last year, I was introduced to the game, Puke or Smoothie. The premise is that while walking across campus one often finds messes on the pathway. Are they the aftermath of a rough evening drinking or the spillage of a delicious smoothie from the Late Night Cafe? There are no Winners or Losers in Puke or Smoothie except for the person who, the night before, made it all possible. I thought that by graduating college, my days of Puke or Smoothie were behind me. But alas, I have found the Milwaukee version and here the game isn't very difficult. It is most definitely puke. It is on the sidewalk in the two blocks between my apartment and my office. It has been there for a week now, because we don't have any B & G workers. This has also been a very balmy week - no rain, no snow, no temperatures below freezing(!). I wish we could have a good downpour, so that this stupid game would be over.
Monday, March 7
Life as a peon
Life as a peon isn't always bad.
I began formulating an entry about my day at work, but then realized that it was boring. I don't want to think about it, why would someone else want to read about it? It was going to be about office politics and how I'm using my low status to the best of my abilities.
In other news, the bruise on my knee doesn't hurt nearly as much as it did on Saturday night after slipping on ice on my way home from a bar. My friends thought it was the drunkenness that landed me on my ass, but surely it was the ice. I swear! I really don't remember falling - the act of falling - not the events surrounding it. You know how when you slip on ice it happens so fast you only remember the surprise of being on the ground? That's how I feel. It wasn't a black-out moment. I'm so in denial.
We had a fun night - Ann, her brother -Andy, and April. I'm the only "D" that they allow in the group. After dinner, we went to Jo Cat's on Brady Street. I had wanted to get a beer at every bar along the way home, but we ended up staying at Jo Cat's. It was our first time, except for April. The bar filled up after we arrived; we are such trend-setters. We danced on their little dance floor - sometimes as the only dancers. At one point in the night, I mentioned that sometime I'd like to get in a bar fight. Just as I finished my sentence, some guy came up to Ann. I forget what he said but he poked her in the stomach a la the Pillsbury Dough Boy. (Note: Ann is a small girl, who in no way resembles the PDB.) Despite where you may think this story is going, I did not punch the guy and get into my first bar fight as I had just stated I wished to do. We all stared in shock and the guy walked away. I don't even think we talked about it. We just continued on in our conversation.
I began formulating an entry about my day at work, but then realized that it was boring. I don't want to think about it, why would someone else want to read about it? It was going to be about office politics and how I'm using my low status to the best of my abilities.
In other news, the bruise on my knee doesn't hurt nearly as much as it did on Saturday night after slipping on ice on my way home from a bar. My friends thought it was the drunkenness that landed me on my ass, but surely it was the ice. I swear! I really don't remember falling - the act of falling - not the events surrounding it. You know how when you slip on ice it happens so fast you only remember the surprise of being on the ground? That's how I feel. It wasn't a black-out moment. I'm so in denial.
We had a fun night - Ann, her brother -Andy, and April. I'm the only "D" that they allow in the group. After dinner, we went to Jo Cat's on Brady Street. I had wanted to get a beer at every bar along the way home, but we ended up staying at Jo Cat's. It was our first time, except for April. The bar filled up after we arrived; we are such trend-setters. We danced on their little dance floor - sometimes as the only dancers. At one point in the night, I mentioned that sometime I'd like to get in a bar fight. Just as I finished my sentence, some guy came up to Ann. I forget what he said but he poked her in the stomach a la the Pillsbury Dough Boy. (Note: Ann is a small girl, who in no way resembles the PDB.) Despite where you may think this story is going, I did not punch the guy and get into my first bar fight as I had just stated I wished to do. We all stared in shock and the guy walked away. I don't even think we talked about it. We just continued on in our conversation.
Sunday, March 6
out
At this time yesterday, I was getting ready to go out for dinner with some friends, deciding that I would not be drinking too much for the evening.
At this time today, I am finally free of my hangover.
At this time today, I am finally free of my hangover.
Saturday, March 5
short cut
Today as I tried to find my way around Milwaukee I found myself in one of the ghetto housing projects, blasting my radio to Journey.
Friday, March 4
Brian (not Austin) Greene
Prof. Brian Greene of Columbia was at the Milwaukee Public Library last night to promote his book, The Fabric of the Cosmos. His last book, The Elegant Universe, explained Superstring Theory and how it pulls together Relativity and Quantum Mechanics. His new book expands on humankind's interpretation of space and time. While Dr. Greene is brilliant, he's also known for his ability of describing extremely complex ideas to laypeople. I went to the lecture with some friends, Oscar, Karen, and Andy - not physicists, but intelligent people looking to learn as much as possible about our world. We all enjoyed the lecture and wish it had lasted longer. I have such a better appreciation for science and math and I am motivated to learn as much as I can about everything - even interest theory and finance. We went to a coffeehouse afterwards and talked about a lot of things - books, movies, the rural T of PA (I've never heard of that.). It felt good to joke around with buddies again; it reminded me of late nights in college.
stained glass
I finished my first stained glass project on Wednesday night. It's mirror with an inch and a half of glass around it. My cuts are straight and the solder doesn't look half-bad. Now I need to come up with some other designs. The first project was assigned to us but for everything else, we're on our own.
I left class early this week because I was done and didn't have any ideas for the next time. The instructor didn't know why I would be in a rush to leave so I lied and said that I was meeting a friend for dinner. He then announced to the class, "It sounds like someone's going home to get some nookie." To set the stage just right, only three of us showed up for class this week - two other men and me. The instructor, Don, is well into his retirement, well over 6 feet tall, and well over 300 lbs. To his "nookie" comment, I just smiled and probably turned red. As I was packing up, I overheard someone tell Don, "You know, that's what they have drugs for these days." To which he replied, "Yeah, but Viagra doesn't work either." I was going to make a sarcastic comment about TMI but then realized that we're still in Lent, and I'm still trying to give up sarcasm. I just left the room as fast as possible.
I left class early this week because I was done and didn't have any ideas for the next time. The instructor didn't know why I would be in a rush to leave so I lied and said that I was meeting a friend for dinner. He then announced to the class, "It sounds like someone's going home to get some nookie." To set the stage just right, only three of us showed up for class this week - two other men and me. The instructor, Don, is well into his retirement, well over 6 feet tall, and well over 300 lbs. To his "nookie" comment, I just smiled and probably turned red. As I was packing up, I overheard someone tell Don, "You know, that's what they have drugs for these days." To which he replied, "Yeah, but Viagra doesn't work either." I was going to make a sarcastic comment about TMI but then realized that we're still in Lent, and I'm still trying to give up sarcasm. I just left the room as fast as possible.
Wednesday, March 2
phone
My telephone isn't working. The phone company's website gives a number to call. If I didn't have my cell phone, how would I call them? I think it's also interesting that I can call three different Help Lines - one in English, one in Spanish, and one in Polish.
cactuses
I saved my cactuses. From myself. Or at least from the lack of my attention. I had forgotten to water them for what must have been a very long time; they are cactuses, you know. And yesterday I noticed that they were turning brown and becoming wrinkled and less succulent. Perhaps I shouldn't leave them on my heater anymore? Anyway, I thought they were dead, but I gave them a good watering and today they look much stronger. I think they're going to make it after all. I keep telling them that it's not neglect, but tough love. I want them to know what it's like to live in the wild with dry seasons and rainy seasons. I do this for their own good.
chili
I've been making chili very often this winter. Usually I buy the chili flavoring in the packet, but then I realized that this is much more expensive than if I just buy a container of chili powder. Also, the seasoning doesn't contain any wheat, which is harmful to those people who live gluten-free lives. Now I can serve chili to my gluten-free guests - if they ever come to visit.
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