Stang!

I have safely been delivered to my home in Milwaukee. This is despite the snowstorm that canceled my flight from Cleveland to Milwaukee. Because the earliest flight that guaranteed my return would be Sunday, I decided to brave the weather and rent a car to drive back. I asked for the smallest car the rental company had available. I was asked if a two-door would be ok. Sure. And this is what I was given:


Of course, my car is surrounded by snow, not sand.

Family = Mafia

On Christmas I took a chance. The family party was beginning to break apart. The older folks were falling asleep on the couch. The younger folks were texting friends to make plans to go out drinking. I had traveled too far to let the family party end so early. Also, I wanted to continue drinking the free beer.

I taught them Mafia. And I am so proud of how well they played. There were no monologues of logic. There were few flip-flop votes. And there was absolutely no talking from beyond the grave! Instead we had gut-reactions, mob-mentality voting, and no sympathy for children. Siblings rallied to convict siblings, children took down their parents in the night, and spouses avenged previous games even when innocence was a sure thing. It was great. Nothing brings a family together like murder and lies.

Already we're talking about the next time that there will be enough people around to play a few more rounds. I think we have a tradition.

Stalking

I found my students on Facebook. (It wasn't difficult; I just looked up the high school's name.) However, I feel a bit pervy looking at high school students' profiles on Facebook. I also have half a mind to create a profile with my school account, join their network, and "become" their friend. Man, I could ruin all of their fun.

December Thaw

Temperatures above freezing have arrived in Milwaukee - and just in time. My car was running out of gasoline and the gas tank door was frozen shut. I was planning to find an indoor garage this evening so that I could thaw out the car.

Second Thoughts

Before going to my high school's basketball game tonight I thought I should check out the rules and procedures for the game. There are a lot. I was also told by another teacher to make sure that I stick with other people from my school for safety reasons. Now I'm having second thoughts about joining this activity, which clearly is not as safe as it should be.

Questions about Saturday Night

How did Trevor convince us to drive to Madison to see a college a capella group?

When did Trevor become such a big fan of college a capella groups?

How can a fan of college a capella groups make fun of an origami fan, who just happens to bring along folding paper on the trip?

Did the busboy keep the paper crane we left him?

How does Christie keep her concentration on the origami frog while a giant banana is just behind her?

What are the chances that the a capella concert would be held in a venue with a wall of origami?

SNOW DAY!

If you thought that you were excited about snow days as a student, you should experience what it feels like as a teacher. Of course, I didn't find out about the cancellation until I was already up and ready, but that just means I have more of the day to enjoy.

Progress Reports

Me: And that is how a 30 can pull down your average even if the rest of your grades are in the 90s.
Student: Is there another geometry class I can be in?
Me: Actually, averages work the same in every class. It doesn't matter which class you're in.

Progress Reports

Student: What's my grade?
Me: A "U".
Student: Oh, I thought I had a "C".
Me: You haven't had test score above 60 this semester. You have a zero on one of them. How were you going to pull that off?

Brewery Tour #215

I have been on the local brewery tour multiple times - twice in November alone. I have favorite tour guides. And I'm disappointed when my favorite parts of the tour are skipped or skimmed over. Last evening we took another tour of the brewery. Afterwards we stuck around for the Friday Fish Fry and then we moseyed on over to the German Beer Hall. Here are some pictures to highlight the evening.

The tour begins and ends at a tap.

Trevor has difficulty deciding on just one beer to buy.

Justin and Lisa probably laughing at
some wonderful joke that I have told.

Trevor, Emily, Christie, and Amanda.

advent

I have 90 classes until Christmas vacation. Not as if I'm counting or anything.

Mother's Little Helper

One of my students came to class drunk today. I thought he was going to hug me.

And here I thought that only my students led me to drink. However, the feelings must be reciprocated!

"Please don't step in the blood."

This is how I greeted my 5th hour class today. There had been a fight during my 4th hour class and I was still waiting for someone to come and clean up the blood on the floor. It's so strange. They were fighting over nothing. I'm just glad that it was boys. Girls fighting is so much worse, because they really want to kill the other person.

I thought this was interesting today for various reasons.

1. I had my second formal assessment of the year during 1st hour. I thought it went poorly. But that was until 4th hour, when I learned just how badly a lesson can become.

2. My 2nd hour class complained to me that I am a bad teacher. They said they want someone better, with more experience. Sorry, kids, when I spend more time writing incident reports instead of lesson plans, you're not going to get the highest quality of education.

I'm definitely in a valley of my teaching career. I'm impressed with how many teachers have recently told me to "hang in there." I wonder if I look downtrodden. I'm feeling it, but I thought I was better at hiding it. Perhaps they all just know that November and December are tough times for teachers - new ones especially.

Dan Goldin Day V

I can't believe we're already preparing for Dan Goldin Day V. I would like to make a motion to declare the following song to be the official song of this year's festivities. This suggestion actually comes from my roommate, Jacob. This will be Jacob's first year celebrating DGD, and we're happy to have him shrugging off work with the rest of us. It's nice to see how DGD continues to grow out here in Wisconsin.

Halloween Block Party

Last night was my first Halloween as a homeowner. I had enough trick-or-treaters to go through 3 bags of candy. I would have had more kids stop by, but I turned off my porch light and went to the block party instead. The block watch organized a party so that families could have a safe evening out, despite our verge-of-shady neighborhood. It was great to see so many people out. I don't think we all realized how many families are on the block. It's nice to see a community forming. The party was pretty cool. They had a bonfire in the middle of the street and a DJ playing music. A neighbor put on a show of juggling fire. And several people in good costumes were milling about. The saddest part of the evening was when we overheard the ghostbuster explaining his costume to a group of 8 year olds. They had no idea what a ghostbuster was, but they thought his ray gun was pretty cool.

An open letter to teachers

Dear Teachers,

Today I stumbled upon a little trick that they won't teach you in your education classes. Wear a mullet wig to school and it will freak your kids out. It will freak them out so much that they will create a silence that normally only occurs when they have been lulled to sleep with the sweet, sweet lullaby known as the Segment Addition Postulate. However, what is different about this mullet-induced silence is that the students are fully aware - no, super-aware - of their surroundings. This is the chance to teach them something. They don't know what's going to come next from the teacher (and the thing on his head), so they're paying close attention. Be quick, though, the effect will only last for about 20 minutes, but that's about 15 minutes more than what has been provided all year.

The mullet wig can also provide some "teachable moments" as many students don't know much about the mullet, especially those students from the African-American community. This is a great way to broach topics such as hockey, NASCAR, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and Canada. Cultural diversity is a lesson that can be taught all year long at any age.

After the success of the mullet wig, I'm going to try some other methods to shock my students into learning. My ideas include full scuba gear, a handlebar moustache, and my machete. Please let me know if you have any ideas to share.

Happy Halloween,
Donny

I'd biddy biddy bum

If I had had time this weekend, I would have watched Fiddler on the Roof because I took it out of the library. However, it was due back before I could return it. If I were a rich man I would have kept it and just paid the overdue fees.

Cheaters never prosper

Last week I gave a quiz, for which there were two different copies passed out to the room. The quizzes looked identical, but some of the numbers were changed so that if a student copied from another version of the quiz, I would know.

I caught 7 cheaters this way. I did not tell my cheaters that I caught them. Instead I called their parents. By now, though, they should all know that they have a zero on that quiz. When I made my phone calls to parents, I was met with a range of responses. Some parents responded with "Don't worry; I'll take care of it." to questions that almost put the responsibility on me. One woman asked if I was going to change her son's seat. Um, a seat change isn't going to change your son's integrity. Perhaps your son should pay more attention to the lesson instead of the girl sitting next to him. He's spending too much time on a girl who really doesn't require that much wooing, if you get my drift.

Unfortunately, I sometimes think about my job as a game. Even though my real goal is for the students to learn, I can't help but think that I won this round. New Teacher beat them again.

In the classroom

Student: Teacher, How many kids do you have?
Me: I don't have any kids, just cats. I have fourteen cats.
Student: Oh.

Some Pictures

This is my classroom. This is where the magic happens.

Yes, I'm actually a teacher. Sometimes I'm surprised by it too. They have given me a classroom, some students, a paycheck, and benefits. It's still shocking.

Note that I have uploaded pictures from last weekend's kickball tournament below. They're good. They're a kickback to your childhood.

I was feeling pretty proud of myself for my healthy eating at dinner tonight. I had organic lentil soup. And even though I enjoy it, lentil soup is quite high on the sacrifice-taste-for-health-meter. I felt pretty good about myself until I remember all of the other things I had eaten this weekend.

Friday
Dinner: Pizza and beer

Saturday
Breakfast: Bloody Mary (a vegetable!), jello shots, a donut, and a banana.
Lunch: Pizza and beer
Dinner: cheese, artichoke dip, bread and liquor.

Sunday
Lunch: Butterburger
Dinner: Lentil Soup - as if that makes up for the rest of the week. So, I chased it with M&Ms.

Mickey

On Friday afternoon, I saw my first mouse in my classroom. So, next week I began a new campaign titled, "Stop Eating During Class, You Slobs."

P. Egg Nicki

Adrienne organized a kickball team this year. Even though I'm on the team, we have yet to win a game. Sometimes our morale gets a little low but then something happens to raise our spirits. Usually that "something" involves alcohol, but there are occasions when we make good plays.

Due to my kickball league experience, I was asked to fill in for another team today when some of its members decided that they would not make it to a tournament. I have a tough time calling this a "tournament" though, because really it was just an excuse to begin drinking early in the morning. We began with a Bloody Mary breakfast at 9 and then moved on to the jello shots.

After two losses, our team (named "P. Egg Nicki" due to a computer glitch) was knocked out of the competition. It was not a glory-filled day. However, the weather was beautiful and we had a great time.

I have some pictures that I hope capture the spirit of the tournament.

Our team Sponsor, whose motto is "Eat, Drink, & Be Pickled".

The tournament was held in beautiful Pewaukee, Wisconsin, home of the Pewaukee Chamber of Commerce - and of course, the Pickled Egg.

Our Pregame warm-up included alcohol and the playground. This is a picture of Adrienne's legs. I think it captures how "with it" we were that day.

You may ask, "How could you lose to drunk teams?" But remember this was a team of superheroes. Drunk superheroes, but superheroes nonetheless.
And pirates. We lost to teams of drunk pirates.

Somehow, Papa Smurf made it onto the Superhero team. He was the pitcher. And I actually heard him yell during the game, "Quit smurfing around, and Play Kickball!"

I also wish I had a picture of Papa Smurf passed out on a picnic table after his first game.

Parent Teacher Conferences

I had both of my pens taken from my table during parent teacher conferences last night. Now I know where my students get their pen-thievery from.

Overall the experience was a good one. The parents I met were supportive - of me, and of their children. We talked about goals and it was good to see so many people concerned about education and not so much about a child's ego or self-esteem.

The conference was held in a different format than what I expected. All of the teachers sat at tables in alphabetical order in the gymnasium. Nothing particularly funny happened until the end of the evening when the math department had to return our "comfortable" chairs to the computer room. We raced each other across the gym. My department chair is a small woman, so I gave her a ride. But I did not slow down. We received some dirty looks from the other departments and from the administration, but no one stopped us. What are they going to do, fire the entire math department?

As many of you may have guessed while you were in high school, after long days, the teachers did go out to a local bar for adult beverages. (And I am shocked by the number of teachers who smoke!) Some had more to drink than they should have. And I learned things about my coworkers that I had not expected to. It was a good time. And I'm excited for the Christmas party, which traditionally includes a karaoke machine. The math department is not sure if we should sing Stacy's Mom or Paradise by the Dashboard Light. We have plenty of time to decide.

Party Animal

I have been singing the Golden Girls theme song all weekend long. However, I've been changing the words to reflect what happened to me on Friday night.

I invited my friends over for pizza and beer. They were great - the pizza, the beer, and the friends. Sometime at about 10 o'clock, while returning from the bathroom, I thought I would sit on my bed for "a rest." The next thing that I remember happening is that I woke up at about 1 o'clock, and I was completely confused about why there were people in my house. In a daze, I walked into my living room and asked, "What are you people doing here?" It wasn't until they sent me back to bed that I realized that I had invited them there.

Yeah, I'm a wild and crazy guy.

My first house guests

To make a long story short: On Friday night, three Ugandan orphans and their chaperone slept over at my house. The chaperone, Julius, is my age and we enjoyed each other's company. We compared what life is like for 20-somethings in Uganda versus the US. It seems that many things are similar. We're both trying to figure what we want to do with our lives. We both want fulfilling and paying careers. We want to feel secure in our homes and some day provide for our families.

We watched late night TV and I think I convinced Julius that Letterman is better than Leno. Julius persuaded me that I should root for the Kampala soccer team. I was an easy sell as I could not even name another Ugandan city, let alone its soccer team.

In the middle of class

These are comments my students made while I'm in the middle of a lesson! They actually raise their hands and I call on them because I'm anticipating a question about the topic being covered.


Student: Mr. ___, who's your favorite rapper?
Me: Who's your favorite mathematician? Get back to work.


Student: Teacher! Word on the street is you is gay!
Me: Yeah? Word on the street is that a number of my students are trying to switch out of my class because I make you go up to the board, but the guidance department won't let you. Get back to work.

Miter Maid

Christie bought a miter saw off of Craig's List this week. I don't know why. We still don't have our internet working. She needs a stove, and I need a refridgerator. But we now have a high-power saw that could cut off our limbs. I don't even think we have a table strong enough to hold the miter saw.

As I carried it to the basement, I noticed that she didn't have any instructions for it. "I'll just figure it out on my own." was her reasoning. Great. We're still struggling with the dryer hook-up, which luckily does not cause dismemberment when done incorrectly, but somehow she'll figure out the miter saw.

I mentioned that perhaps personal purchases should be approved by all house members from now on, not just the joint purchases.

Mister

Today, I put on my bravery pants and made the long trek to my future place of employment. I know that 13 miles is not too far, but from the point of view of someone who has walked or biked to work for the past 7 years, it's far. Of course, I could run the distance and that way I would have done a marathon every day.

I wore my bravery pants, because I decided that I would walk into the high school office, introduce myself, and hope to be shown around or at least be given some information. Well, the pants did the trick, because that's just what I did. I met my principal and a guidance counselor, who showed me my room. I was also told what classes I would be teaching. Geometry and Trigonometry/Algebra II.

Suddenly my career change has taken a big turn towards reality. I can visualize my classroom, and I need to decorate it in a way to make it mine. I can think about lesson plans and how I want the year to shape. I can make lesson plans for the first week.

The strangest part of today was being called by my last name. Everyone called me "Mister Last Name." And that's how they introduced themselves and addressed each other too. I wonder if I will ever learn the first names of the other staff.

Fanatic

Christie and I are driving to Madison tonight to see the Ditty Bops. I'm not a big fan of concerts, but I always enjoy the Ditty Bops live. I hope there's dancing. And balloons. And washboards. And pirate songs. I love a good pirate song.

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

I finally received my placement in Milwaukee Public Schools. Unfortunately, though I still don't know my grade or subject matter. So, I continue to look for general lesson plans and general thoughts about teaching math. I'm currently reading an interesting book about how to teach problem solving.

I suppose I should also be working on items that I know I'll have to do at one point or another. For example, my certification class requires that I write out my Philosophy of Education and a Letter to the Parents.

However, the unemployed life has been fun. I have been "bumming" around the house, cleaning and fixing things. I still spin and swim in the mornings. I have been shopping and lounging in coffee shops. I have been able to volunteer some time at the church and help Katie set up her classroom. Who needs a job?

Neighbors

I moved into my new house yesterday. I've begun to meet my neighbors. The guy to the south has already offered to "keep an eye on [our] house and shoot anyone breaking into it". To the north, our punk neighbors told us that they like to have "shows" about once a month. I asked them to please warn us ahead of time. Christie wonders if we'll be invited. I think we may be too square.

I lied about my employment status during yesterday's closing. So, I keep imagining the bank coming to my house and forcing me to move out. The word "default" is terrifing.

Things I Have Found While Packing

• Bills due last week
• My Social Security Card
• Frozen Date Bread
• Motivation to post on the Blog
• "Made in Korea" written on my plates. Notice only one Korea.
  

Unemployment

Well, yesterday was my last day as an actuarial analyst. And currently I don't have a job lined up in the school district. They say that I will be placed somewhere, but until I see the contract, I won't feel 100% secure. I am sad to leave the friends that I made at the firm, but I have no regret about leaving the work behind. What feels good is how many of my coworkers told me that I was making the right move. Even the management (and partners in the firm!) said that I would be much happier.

My (ex-) peers have been supportive. Last night we went drinking at the local Dueling Piano Bar. I had a great time. I sang and yelled enough that my throat is sore today. My voice is much deeper today, which has me singing all types of things. "Old Man River" for one.

Next week I am buying a house with Christie. I don't know if I'm excited about the house or not. I'm very scared, but it feels so much better going at this with a friend. At least we can bounce ideas off of each other. And we are able to share the multiple tasks that this process takes.

All of this stress is having an effect on me. I'm not sleeping well, which is very unlike me. My skin is dry in patches, like around my eyes. And I've been irritable on occasion. For example, Christie and I went washer/dryer shopping today. It was a bad experience and, to skip the details, ended with my frustrated request to the front end manager to "explain the amortization schedule they were using for the 'interest-free' payments." The manager gave me a look that said, "I don't get paid enough to deal with wackos like you." And I think Christie almost kicked me.

Bite me.

This is my last week as an actuarial analyst. Friday will be my last day working on pension valuation and administration. I will leave behind the world of the PBGC Form 5500, service cost roll forwards, and Qualified Domestic Relations Order calculations. I will instead enter a world of lesson plans, prom committees, and children who bite their teachers.

Today I skipped work (at the job who still provides my medical benefits) so that I could go to training for Crisis Prevention for Milwaukee Public Schools. It's a two day course, so I'll be skipping work tomorrow too (at the job that actually pays me). Part of the training feels silly. For example, we have to memorize these four stages of crisis, verbatim. Don't say that stage one is "stress" because the correct answer is "anxiety".

Anyway, the bookwork is pretty dumb, however I think that the practical part of the lesson will be useful. We do a good deal of role playing. We pretend that we're students refusing to do homework, or who punch teachers, or who threaten the teachers' cats. It's good to be able to practice responses to things that we had never considered possible. The student-teacher verbal interactions took place during the morning. But the real fun was the afternoon.

After lunch we practiced techniques to escape various holds that students may try on us. We'll do more tomorrow, but today we covered Wrist Grabs, Hair Pulling, Choking, and Biting. That's right - biting! Are students really going to bite me? I didn't sign up for biting students. I just want to teach them to solve systems of equations. With two variables. I want their teeth nowhere near my skin. Not just because teeth hurt, but because some of them have awful dental hygiene. And some of them don't have all of their teeth. They have a "grill". That's has to cause more damage than normal incisors. And if it's gold, couldn't I end up with gold poisoning in my blood? I hope my medical coverage will handle gold . This medical coverage doesn't begin until November. I have two months during which I can't let any students bite me.

A Teacher's Budget

This weekend I found a great sale at an office supply store. I was able to buy:

10 notebooks
3 protractors
24 pencils
24 pens
10 folders

for $2.45. I rock school supplies.

Headlights

I have been at my parents' house in Moscow, Pennsylvania for the past week. I'm home for the Croom-daddy wedding. Today Lindsay will leave behind her single ways and become Mrs. Croom-daddy. In the week between the bachelor party and the wedding I have had plenty of chances to spend time with family and friends. Sometimes we just talk, but often we eat and drink while we catch up.

As I drive around NEPA, I am reminded of the skills that I learned while growing up in a rural area that I don't use very often in Milwaukee. For example, scanning the upcoming road for deer and looking at other drivers so that I can wave if I know them. Another important set of rules that I almost forgot about is the use of high beams instead of the normal head lights when I'm on dark roads.

The thing about driving on back roads is that you need to use the high beams as much as possible. If you just use your normal head lights, you'll easily be over-riding them and by the time that you see a deer or other obstruction you will already have hit because you didn't have enough distance to stop. However, you can't leave your high beams on all of the time because then you'll blind the other drivers. Of course, some people forget, so you just have to flash them once and then they'll realize their mistake.

On windy roads, I like how I can tell when a car is approaching by looking at the reflection of its lights on the telephone wires. I like being able to tell at what point he turned off his high beams. It's also an interesting situation when I approach another car on a long stretch of flat road. This is because we know that we don't have to turn off the high beams as soon as we see each other - there are still several hills between us. However, at what point does our own vision need to be held back because it's hindering someone else's? It's a question that goes so much farther beyond Rts. 307 and 435. It's a question for life. How much do we sacrifice for other people?

How much do we sacrifice when we don't know the other people - and we never will meet the other people. They're traveling in the opposite direction at 65 m.p.h. and all we have to know each other is the shape of our headlights. But we both made simple changes to help the other person's journey.

Work Hugs

It's acceptable to hug your coworkers when you give your notice that you plan to quit. Who knew?

Death by Popsicle

If I don't wake up tomorrow, it's probably because I ate expired popsicles. Seriously, my popsicles expired back in May. It's frozen fruit juice - how does it expire? Well, to test it out, I let the neighbors' dog try it. He's not dead yet. Just kidding. It was the neighbors' kid.

In other death-defying news, I am one step closer to home-ownership following the home inspection that we had on Friday. Our home inspector was Mr. Fix-it. Really. Mr. Fix-it has a radio show on the AM, and he inspected our house. Our realtor was impressed when we told him, however he wished we had told him earlier so that he could get Mr. Fix-it's autograph. I reminded him that we did get Mr. Fix-it's autograph - on our 30 page Inspection Report.



Anyway, it appears that Christie and I are about to buy a death trap! If the chimney doesn't fall on our heads in the night, then surely we will be electrocuted by the mis-wired electric outlets. And don't forget the asbestos!
Actually the inspection went very well. We do have a few things that need to be fixed before the closing, but they're not too big. And some are code violations that would need to be fixed whether we had the inspection or not. Christie and I are already planning the house warming party. See more pictures at Flickr!

Moving on Up

Last week, Christie and I settled on a price for the duplex that we want to buy. Our only contingencies are based on the financing and the inspection. The financing should be no problem. The inspection could uncover something big, but we don't plan on that. So, it seems that I will be a homeowner in mid-August. It's exciting and scary at the same time. When I have pictures, I will be sure to post them.

There are 5 bedrooms in the house, a sleep-able attic, and 2 more futons. Of course, Christie owns half of this, but all of this free housing has to place Milwaukee as a contender for New Year's Eve 2008. MilONYE!

Conversation

At Mick and Kate's wedding

Christie: That was a nice picture of you in the slideshow. When did they take that?
Me: I don't know. Probably the night we went out for Kate and Molly's birthday, which is only a few days before mine.
Chrisite: That's weird - they have the same birthday. Oh wait, they're twins.

Mom

My mom came to visit this week. After three days of my sleeping on the floor (because she had my bed and my cousin had my futon), I convinced her to go to a hotel. My reasoning was that they have air-conditioning. And I would be more pleasant if I weren't sleeping on the floor. (I have beautiful hard wood floors. Beautiful to look at; not beautiful to enjoy via your back.)

I am not sure if Mom had a good time here in Milwaukee. I was very busy so we didn't spend a ton of time together. I worked on the weekdays, because I'm saving my vacationtime for a trip home in July. And I had to continue my house-hunt as the deadline looms. She was invited to come on both house-hunting trips but decided against it. (I am so thankful for this as I don't think she will like the neighborhood to which I am moving.) And it was hot, which she talked about frequently.

However, we did go to the Lakefront Brewery for its Fish Fry. And we sat right in front of the polka band! We did go to the Botanical Garden, which we both enjoy. It's one of the few things we have in common. We like gardens. We both like looking at landscaping. She likes plants for their beauty. I like them for their Latin names. Quercus alba! We also had some great meals. Milwaukee did not let me down in the food department.

Hit the books

This week I started my evening class to prepare me as a teacher for Milwaukee Public Schools. My first homework assignment was due at 11:59 tonight. I submitted it at 11:49 - ten minutes to spare. This is not the best way to start a new career.

Beads

As a member of the Easttown Association, I received 3 free tickets to Milwaukee's Bead and Button show this weekend. Score! And I'm allowed to ask for more if I need them. I'm thinking about going just because it would make an interesting blog entry.

Grilling!

The last time Trevor invited me to grill there was snow on the ground. This time, there were thunderstorms overhead. Despite the rain and cold, we had a great time tonight. Christie summed up the experience well: "I was miserable, but I had a lot of fun." See the pictures below.

What do you think, Christie? Rain?

Funcionality before Fashion.

Christie: I can't tell which ones are the Boca Brats, because they're too charred. Sorry, Trevor. Great job grilling. I like them charred. They're good.

The realtor just left my apartment and Christie and I just signed our offer for a house that we want to buy. While we have only been going through this since Sunday, I feel that it has been a lifetime. I am so tired by all of the reading, and talking, and haggling. But I have a good feeling that I am going to become a homeowner. It feels weird to type that, let alone to actually know it.

The building is a duplex - two apartments with the same layout set on top of one another. There is an attic and a basement, both of which we would share. There is a two-door garage and a garden; grass to mow. There is a porch and a balcony. The building is old, more than 100 years. It has character. It also has hard wood floors, a claw-foot bathtub, and a shrubery.

The neighborhood is not the best. But it is certainly not the worst. Riverwest is the area of town where the hippies and the hipsters live. There may be more crime there than in the white picket fences neighborhood, but there's also a stronger neighborhood association, of which our realtor has already invited us to join. The Food Co-op is only two buildings away from the house. And there are two coffee shops within a block as well. We're a block from my favorite bus line - the same one that Christie takes to work. Oh, and there's a sex toy shop on the corner too.

My feelings are all over the board. I'm excited, but extremely nervous. I hope I did not make the wrong decision. I keep thinking of all that can go wrong. And I feel guilty when I catch myself thinking of all that can go right. But mostly I just feel tired.

Memorial Day Check List

• Eat frozen custard
• Yard Sales
• Run - twice
• Bike ride
• Finish Sophie's World after months of reading it
• Clean up the house - especially the bathroom
• View house to buy, meet with realtor, place offer on house
• Buy flights home to Pennsylvania
• Buy books
• Swim multiple laps
• Eat sushi
• Cheer for the Memorial Day Parade
  

One day, lad, all this will be yours!

PRINCE HERBERT:

What, the curtains?

FATHER:

No. Not the curtains, lad. All that you can see, stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This'll be your kingdom, lad.

- Monty Python and the Holy Grail


Tonight I am hanging curtains on the windows of my apartment. They look so much better than the blinds. But more importantly, now I can leave the windows open, and not wear pants!

Today, I learned a valuable lesson about tailgating the car in front of you on the highway. Don't do it. Because the driver may vomit out his window and splatter your car worse than a swarm of bugs. True story.

That sums up my day: vomit on the car and hanging curtains.

Prayer Rug

I received a Prayer Rug in the mail today. I didn't ask for it; someone sent it me. It's not really a rug. It's a large piece of paper that has been folded up. It has the design of a Persian rug, but then there's a large picture of Jesus in the middle of it. Jesus' eyes are drawn to be closed, but the directions with the rug say that if you look at them long enough they appear to open up. Then you are too kneel on the Prayer Rug (Prayer Sheet of Paper) and ask for what you need. You then write your prayer on the letter that came with the "rug" and send it to another person.

It's a little strange. The weirdest part is that I'm not sure who sent it to me. And I'm suspicious, but I can't find anywhere that I'm to send money. Currently the Prayer Rug is in my garbage. I feel a little strange about that, but I really don't want to hold onto it.

In other news, Tyler commented on the blog. He didn't say much, but it sure is nice to hear from him. I've been writing to him each week since he was sent to Iraq, but I have no idea when (or if) the letters reach him. I wonder if he got the porn I sent him. Maybe the censors "censored" it for themselves. Just kidding, Tyler. There's no porn coming your way from me. But, Adina - she might send you some.

Three paragraphs is all it took for me to get from "Prayer Rug" to "Pornography".

Go Brewers!

Milwaukee is very excited about the 2007 season. Check it out.

Crazy Legs

On Saturday morning, Christie, Trevor, and I drove out to Madison for the 8K Crazylegs Classic. It was an adventure. And even though the details on paper make it sound like a collection of misfortune, we had a great time. But I'm not sure if we'd do it again.

We began the day with some slightly stressful driving around the city as we realized that I had no idea where registration was. Go figure, I thought it would be somewhere near the starting line. Nope, about a mile away from the start. We made it to registration with about 15 minutes to spare. Luckily, we had 60 minutes between registration and the start.

The sun was out, and it looked to be a beautiful day for a run. We made our way to the capital, which was the starting point. No directing signage, so we ended up at the end of the last wave - of walkers. Even after our wave finally began running (35 minutes after the start of the race!), we had to get past all of the walkers and slow-poke runners. We started with about 20 runners behind us. That left about 14,980 in front of us. As Trevor pointed out, we spent the entire race passing people. Not one person passed us. (Except for when that girl dropped her phone and Christie accidentally kicked it while trying to pick it up.) We're not that fast. We were just placed at the back of the slow people.

Despite all of the people that we passed during the running, we apparently didn't get to the finish line early enough, because they RAN...OUT...OF...BEER! Come on! That's how I made it up the hill on Mile 2. I kept repeating, "beer (pant, pant) beer (pant pant) beer" on every step of my right foot. How can they run out? That's the most important part of the race - the rehydration. They don't run out of beer during the Beer Run of Riverwest, or of sausages during the Sausage Race of Miller Park. Unacceptable.

Well, with morale at a low (but not the lowest, that was yet to come), we made the long trek back to the car, which was at the registration area - nowhere near the finish line. Upon seeing the car I reached into my pocket for the car keys, and found out that they were no longer there. Perhaps I had given them back to Christie because it was her car? Nope. I dropped them. We did not panic, which greatly helped the situation. Sure, we were in a strange city, without any certainty of our exact location. Our cell phones - in the car. Our identification - in the car. Our money - in the car, except for a sweaty $15 in Trevor's shoe. We knew no phone numbers, nor anyone's address in the city. The best option was to take the walk back to the stadium and look for the keys. We were fortunate enough that it was still open though we had to ask the staff's permission to look around. Eventually, we went to the Lost and Found. And lo and behold, someone had turned in the keys! Yea! No call to a locksmith!

We went to a bar for a lunch of beer and burgers. I was introduced to Mac-n-cheese wedges. Who knew that one could deep-fry macaroni and cheese into a wedge shape? It was ok, but I'd prefer my mac-n-cheese in a spoon-friendly form.

Music Talk

While in Europe, Charley spent a good deal of time listening to his iPod. At one point he told me that he was listening to Mika, and he recommended that I should give him a try. I remembered this when I was in the music store the other day and noticed that Mika's album had recently come out. I bought it, never having heard a single song on the album.

Within the first few songs of the album, I realized that Life in Cartoon Motion would easily take the position of Gayest Album in my music collection. This, of course, upset those artists whose albums previously had held this position - namely Rufus Wainwright and the Scissor Sisters. While Rufus just had general feelings of hurt and confusion, the Sisters took a much more agressive approach when dealing with the interloper, Mika. I tried to capture their conversation, which includes comments from my other CDs, in the following lines:

Mika: Everybody's gonna love today! ...love me.

RW: (to Donny) [But] I'm only the one you love.

SS: I don't feel like dancin' no sir, no dancin' today.

RW: I don't know what I'm doing / I don't know what I'm saying...

Mika: [Maybe you're] Suckin' too hard on your lollipop. Love's gonna let you down.

SS: ...you're filthy / Oooh, and I'm gorgeous.

Ray Lamontagne, concerned that neither side was listening to the other foresaw problems.
Ray: Trouble. Oh, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble.

Corinne Bailey Rae, the other newcomer to the group threw her support behind Mika, and so did the soundtrack of Wicked.
Corinne: Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song.
Wicked: Popular. I'll help you be popular!

Some other albums were against Mika, however.
Thriller: They're out to get you, better leave while you can. Beat it. Just beat it.
Dixie Chicks: I'm not ready to make nice / I'm not ready to back down.

Poor Rufus pressured me to make a decision.
RW: I don't know what it is, But you got to do it...

Luckily though, someone stepped in and silenced everyone.
Black Eyed Peas: Shut up, just shut up, shut up. Shut up, just shut up, shut up.

And until someone stops me, I will continue to listen to any of my CDs as frequently as I wish.

Donny at a Crossroads

Some day I may look back at this week and think, "Yes, that was when everything changed." It's not often that someone realizes he's in the middle of a turning point. It's difficult to recognize the change of the tide. There's too much movement of the waves to notice that the entire body has changed directions.

Of course, my actions this week have been quite deliberate. I'm not being swept away, but choosing my own path.

• This morning I took the PRAXIS I exam. This is the first test needed to become a certified teacher. Last week, I submitted my application to MTEC, a program in the Milwaukee Public Schools, for people of other careers to become teachers. I am giving it a try, because my current career is not right for me. The money is great, but I want fulfillment. If things go as planned I will be teaching math in a high school classroom come September.
• This weekend I led my church's committee in hiring our permanent pastor, who will start in July. My church is going through some rough times, but the pastor will bring an extensive skill-set. She will either turn us around from our struggling financial situation, or drain our savings and cause us to have to close our doors for good. As the chairman of the Staffing Committee, I am in the position to receive the praise or blame for how the appointment plays out.
• I received a call from military this week, as they are doing a background check on Ray. They had many questions, and I managed to know many of the answers. How many of you can remember your dorm room numbers or even your addresses from 7 years ago? I have talked to Ray a few times on the phone now since he got out of basic training. He sounds happy. I hope he is.
• On Saturday night, Christie, Trevor, and I went to a pre-developed housing development outside of the city to watch the stars. The neighborhood we visited only has paved roads and water hook-ups. The land is flat so that we are able to see the stars close to the horizon. We had a nice talk, and I appreciated my friends - even if they have strange senses of humor.

I have been watching the PBS documentaries America at a Crossroads. If you can catch an episode this week, I highly recommend it. The program is about post 9/11 America and the difficulties that we face. One episode I watched focused on Jihad and the people who join it. I don't think I learned anything new, but it was good to see everything told in a narrative and for the pieces to be placed together. Another episode I watched was called "Writing the Wartime." It took the writings of soldiers and made a documentary of it. There were poems, narratives, and essays. It was very moving.

Oops

I'm at the library studying for my next exam. However, I now realize that I have forgotten to register for my exam. Fantastic.

When Fantasy Congress Become Real

Today I met Congresswoman Gwen Moore, the representative from my district in the House. She was our guest speaker at church. After the service I introduced myself to her. For lack of a better conversation topic, I told her that I have her picked in my fantasy congress league and that I would appreciate it if she would be as active as possible because that would help my score. I explained to her that I get points for all sorts of activity from the passing of her sponsored legislation to just showing up for roll call. I don't think she knew what I was talking about but she did tell me that her aides have mentioned "fantasy congress" before. Perhaps she'll look into it.

I think that I should receive some sort of credit in the league for actually having met someone on my team.

Wisconsin seasons

Spring officially begins in 2 days, but we couldn't wait any longer. Today we broke out the Weber grill to cook our dinner. Trevor invited Christie, Jon, and me to his apartment for hamburgers and fries. We brought chicken, potato salad, asparagus, and guacamole. We brought too much food, which is what normally happens. And what's worse is that grilled food usually doesn't keep too well in the fridge.

Trevor's neighbors gave us some funny looks as they walked by in their parkas and scarves. Our hands were cold on the beer bottles, but we just moved our chairs closer to the grill for warmth. Jon and Christie argued over who got to sit in the way of the smoke - both of them wanted it.

I can't decide what was my favorite quotation of the night. The contenders are the following.

1. Jon: "The last time I was home, my dad made me watch The Devil Wears Prada. He really likes the fashion industry."

Or

2. Christie, as we sit around the grill: "Well, it looks like most of the snow in your front lawn is melted."

Europe by the Numbers

Ten…completed postcards that I left at the breakfast table in Brugge, Belgium. Because they are stamped, I hope someone will drop them in a mailbox and not the garbage.

Nine…H & M stores. Two in Paris, two in Brugge, and five in Amsterdam!

Eight… supporting characters in the story:

1. Ida, our gracious Parisian hostesss
2. Simon, our trusty Belgian guide
3. Valerie, our trusty Belgian guide’s sidekick (and fiancée)
4. “The Waitress Who Cared” (and who told Felecia that she cannot eat the pita with her meal)
5. Our smelly Flying Pig hostel roommate
6. Arnold, the Friendly Frenchman, who dreams of visiting Alabama
7. Charley’s flirtatious reflection
8. The dog at the hostel who likes gloves.

Seven...pigeons that landed on Charley at one time to eat from his hand.

Six…days’ worth of pictures that I deleted from my camera.

Five…cigarettes bummed from strangers

Four…countries visited in one week: Germany, France, Belgium, and the Netherlands (a.k.a. Holland – who knew!)

Three…traveling companions: Felecia, Charley, and me. Decisions never required a tie-breaker.

Two…musicals, from which we sang a good number of their songs: Wicked – “You’re gonna be popular” and Pete’s Dragon – “It’s a Brazzle Dazzle Day”

One…exhausting week.

Ash Wednesday

The Latin phrase, "Memento homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris." means "Remember human, that you are dust, and you will return to dust." It's a phrase inspired by Biblical passages and often used during Ash Wednesday services. Contrary to others' ideas, it does not mean, "Eat steak, die happy."

Missed Bops

The Ditty Bops are coming back to Milwaukee, and they'll be playing at Shank Hall, which is three blocks from my apartment. But, alas, I will be in Europe.

Oh yeah - I'm going to Europe - in three weeks. With Felecia and Charley. We're taking it by storm. Flight into Frankfurt, train to Paris, stay there for 3 nights. Travel to Belgium, stay there one night. Train to Amsterdam, enjoy the local culture, stay a night or two and then make our way back to Frankfurt for our flight back.

Things I have learned from the Anna Nicole Smith Media Coverage

1. Zsa Zsa Gabor is still alive.

2. Virility Points earned by fathering a child with a former Playboy Playmate are easily lost when the paternity is questioned by, among others, a dead 90 year-old.

3. White men also take royalty as their first names.

4. Giving a baby two names, but melding them together only makes them difficult to pronounce. "Dannielynn." Is it Dannielle Lynn, Dannie Lynn, Dannielle In, or something completely different?

5. I continue to love NPR, who have not yet done a story on this.

Fourteen

I can't believe 14 degrees feels so warm.

Long John

The thermometer in my apartment says 65 degrees - Fahrenheit. I cooked dinner tonight, just to have an excuse to turn on the stove. Now I'm going to iron my clothes - again.

I wore my long underwear to work today. I only have one pair. Would it be that terrible to wear them two days in a row?

You spin me right round, baby.

I wish I had a good story about my recent Spinning exploits along the lines of the very funny "Crotch Machine of Death" story from Adina. But I don't.

My story is that normally I am in the pool, swimming 50 laps, every day by 6:30 am. However, for the past two weeks, I have been going to the 6 a.m. Spinning class on Thursday mornings. Terra, the instructor is very friendly and fit. She gets us moving slowly, but I'm a sweaty mess by the end of the class. I don't fall off the machine, and I don't make any embarrassing sounds when we "go up another hill." Even though I do want to ask her why we never just "coast down a hill." That's my favorite part of a bike ride and, I think, if we're simulating a real ride, every part should be represented.

Joining the spinning class has shown me how much of a regular I have become at the gym though. The first time I took the class I was surprised at how many people noticed that I had missed my regular swim. And one guy, who has never talked to me previously, asked me for my opinion of the class. He had been nervous about joining it and wanted to know what it's like for a beginner. I didn't mind answering his questions, because he was wearing clothes, which is more than what can be said about other chatty guys in the locker room.

How can I make it known that I only want to talk to other guys if we are both wearing pants? And why do I seem to be one of the few people who feel this way!?

Stay tuned for a future post, in which I will tell you about my Pilates class.

The Reign of Bob is Over

I have a new People Manager. The reign of Bob is over. Not that he did much reigning anyway. He was usually too busy to have significant meetings with me. And I don't particularly like him, so I never went out of my way to make those meetings any more pleasant or frequent. It's somewhat unfair of me not to like Bob. He's a nice guy, and I don't have any serious professional complaints about him. Most of my complaints go away after an afternoon of grumbling and perhaps a beer. I just don't like him. Personally. So, I can't complain about him, or even request a new manager, because I don't have a particularly rational reason for him not to be my boss. I just don't like him.

My new People Manager, on the other hand, is Jason, someone I consider to be a good friend of mine at work. He is only a couple of years older than I am and was recently promoted to "consultant". We work together all the time, but we're usually goofing off. One of our current projects is to perfect the "walk and talk" a la Aaron Sorkin as we go down the hall to pick up our print jobs. (Yes, this is the pinnacle of excitement for an actuary.) We gossip about our coworkers, and often share information that few other people know. I was going to tell him that I am looking for another job, but now I don't know if I can do that. He's my manager now, and that has thrown our whole relationship out of whack.

I sort of mentioned this concern to him by asking him if we can still go to baseball games together. (Because I would certainly not have gone with Bob. Poor Bob used to offer to take me out for lunch for my "review" and I would suggest we stay in the office instead.) Jason had a good response, though. He said, "Of course, we can. But now we get to bill it to a code."

I am being selfish in my concern over the change in my relationship with a friend. This is a good opportunity for Jason, who needs the chance to try various roles in the office. This is also great for the junior associates, who now have a manager closer to their level and easier to approach. I should look forward to the changes.

I love my bank

Today they sent me a free coupon to reverse one overdraft charge that I may incure in the next year. Isn't that great? My last bank charged me $140 in overdraft charges before they let me know that my paycheck required a 5 day waiting period before it cleared. But my new bank sends me sweet coupons of love.

In addition, my bank is easily accessed in my grocery store on every day of the week and into the early evenings. The interest rates are quite high despite the smaller savings amounts of a twenty-something. And the staff is very friendly: even beginning to recognize me. Sometimes they are a little too friendly, such as the new bank teller, who this weekend asked me if my savings account is a money market because I "have a lot of money in there." I remained polite, but I wanted to correct her because: 1) It really isn't "a lot" of money. It's enough to get me by if my car dies or if I quit my job for a few months. 2) Don't say stuff like that outloud.

Also, a local bar recently charged $60 to my debit card even though I only spent $20. They have not yet responded to my voice messages or e-mail. It's the type of bar that is only open after 9 on weekends, so I haven't actually gone there in person. I lost my receipt, but I know my bill was $20, because that's the minimum charge and I only had one drink. (I thought I was mad about the $20, but the $60 made me angrier than when I see grocery stores using apostrophes in their produce signs. e.g. Apple's and Banana's) However, my bank told me not to worry. They suggested I approach the bar once more, and if the management doesn't check their records, we can just fill out an affidavit. Easy as pie.

Work update

Three of my coworkers (or their wives) are now expecting babies. That's 10% of my office will be having babies within the next nine months. And the woman next to me said something along the lines of "And I think there will be more." in a way that made me feel that she knows something I don't.

A few months ago my firm did away with in-house IT support. Brilliant! Now when we have a problem we simply call the "help desk," which is neither helpful nor a desk. It is group of very friendly Indians in Mumbai who are happy to use every courteous remark that has ever been coined in the English language. They are quick with my ticket number (in the case that I need to call back later) and the suggestion that I restart my computer.

Last week, two of the office computers broke. One due to a juice spill and the other just because laptops are finicky. We have an extra "loaner" computer, however, it took a day for the "Help Desk" to figure out how to get it working. Then it took another two days for another loaner to make its way to our office from Chicago. This is not because the loaner laptop walked to Milwaukee - it just took that long for the "Help Desk" to realize that they cannot fix the broken computers over the phone. One of the guys affected bills his time at $390 / hour. He spent four days trying to get a computer. Missing eight hours of work each day cost the firm $12,480. That's incredible. Maybe I don't understand the cost-effectiveness because I'm not a partner.

Today we had another mishap concerning our computers. The office network was "down" - probably due to not enough memory. I learned today that our main drive only has 19 gigabytes of memory. That's crazy. We decided, during the four hours it took the "Help Desk" to fix the problem, that we would all open gmail accounts and begin saving our work there.

2006 - Year in Review!

January
came in with bang and a Gentle Hand. BONYE was a hit and soon to be a tradition. Within the first hours of the New Year, Felecia rejected my (drunken) marriage proposal and I decided that 2006 would not be the year for love.
Got lost on my first trip to Milwaukee's NAACP. Asked for directions at the King library, but the only person who could help me was the other white person. What gives?
Visited KT in DC. Began thinking about moving and finding a new job.

February
was wicked cold and I spent a good deal of time inside. Saw Prairie Home Companion in Milwaukee and Wicked in Chicago. Managed to not sing along to either show.
No snow.

March
began with my first retreat at my new church. Afterwards I felt much more a part of the congregation.
With my new Milwaukee coterie, I saw quite a few concerts - David Gray, Aqualung, Nickel Creek, Ditty Bops, and the 5 Browns.
Played tennis for the first time this season. Made plans to play often.
Played tennis for the last time this season.

April
was very busy in the office. And I kicked up my studying campaign for the May exam.
Tap Danced my way through every Thursday night.
Golf lessons on Saturday mornings.
Not selected for jury duty.
Saw my most wide-spread, "acceptable" public drunkness ever, at Brewers Opening Day.

May
Exam! But very busy at work. Did not study nearly enough, and expected not to pass.
Went home for my great aunt and uncle's 60th wedding anniversary. Danced and drank with the family.
Visited Minneapolis with Christie and Jake. Considered moving there.

June
started with Riversplash, the official kick-off of the summer festival series of Milwaukee. This was my third attendance at Riversplash, but this time I had friends who went with me! Sang along with Milwaukee classics such as "Sex and Beer" and "Tonight (I'm Gonna Ruin my Life)."
Met the intern. Was the first person in my office to tell him, "Shut up" and "You don't know what you're talking about."
Bed bugs moved into our apartment. Jake moved out.
Still believed in the Brewers.

July
brought the end of the strawberry season. I made jam.
Rush tribute band!
Exam results came back positive. Yea! I'm a third level actuary and can now learn stronger spells to fight the orcs.
Beat all four sausages in the 5K Sausage Run.

August
J and Lindsay visit Milwaukee. Watch sows give birth at the State Fair. The piano-player hits on Christie at the dueling piano bar. She doesn't discourage him. We toast "to bad decisions".
New apartment. No bed bugs!
Attend a coworker's pool party. Leave before the naked chicken fights.

September
Visit Las Vegas and Los Angeles. See Tom and Ray and Cory. Miss my friends and wish that they still lived in the room next door.
Puked on a plane. Twice.

October
Study, Study, Study.
Weekly parties, but I behaved.
Organized my office to volunteer at a local soup kitchen. We served 300+ dinners. Learned good things about my coworkers.
Aunt Virginia died (not unexpectedly), but I was reminded of the worst part of living so far away from home.

November
hosted another actuarial exam. I smuggled my answers out of the room and when compared them to the posted solution, reasoned that I probably did not pass.
Julie still in town.
Aunt Sharon died. Her local newspaper allows people to leave messages under her obituary online. As a teacher (of Latin!) magistra, she had many messages from previous and current students. This made me reevaluate my current career path.
Dan Goldin Day brings about new traditions such as being turned away at the door of the brewery tour and making cool new friends. This year was Adrienne and Trevor.
Hosted a chili dinner for the young adults at the church. Realize that there are some other young adults at the church!

December
began with a big snowstorm. Company holiday party was a blast. Because I could walk to it, I definitely had the most to drink. Luckily I was also the photographer, so there aren't many pictures to commemorate my shenanigans.
Attended my first baby shower.
Visited PA for Chirstmas.
Prepared for PhilONYE.

I hear a symphony

Dreamgirls is not about the Supremes. It's a Supreme-like story, but it's not the Supremes. It's a good movie, but it's not what I expected.

I've been singing "I hear a Symphony" (albeit with the wrong words) in anticipation of the movie all day. And I was wrong.

Charlotte's Web is still about a pig, right?

A Secret about Santa Claus

I may be late discovering this, but this will be a new favorite Christmas song for me. I can't wait to go caroling next year.