Christmas Recap

While I've been in Moscow, I have had absolutely no motivation to contact old friends. Well, one of them. But this is very irregular for me. I'm usually the guy contacting every person in my old phone list and organizing rides and stuff. But, now, I don't really feel like talking to anyone. It's not that I don't want to see them; I just don't want to organize it. One night, though, I did go out with two of my cousins - Lindsey and Mike. Mike recently turned 21, not that that should be construed to mean he's green. I picked up Mike and we met his sister at the hot spot of Scranton. We wandered around it, looking for Lindsey. Mike saw a good number of people that he knew and talked with them. I saw a good number of people that I know, and I avoided their gaze. Part of me wonders if they recognized me anyway. But then when we finally found Lindsey, one of the guys in her group said he knew me from my high school. I did not recognize him. But he was short, bald, and jacked. I'm guessing that in high school he was only short. He seemed a little bothered by the fact that his name was not familiar to me at all. Luckily I had not had much to drink or I may have pointed out that I was well known in high school and he probably wasn't. (Not that I want to fall back on high school class structure but I was always speaking in front of the school and I was a leader of half a dozen clubs. I was the Oracle of the Dead Language Society, for Zeus's sake!) I convinced my cousin's to go to a different bar down the street. I knew that some friends of mine would be there. We'd be able to sit down. The band would be quiet enough that we could talk. And the crowd would be a little older. I'm happy that we went. I met Carrie's fiance and we talked about meeting each other when I'm in Washington D.C. next month. I mentioned to Jim again that forestry is a booming industry in Wisconsin - because it apparently isn't in PA. I saw Ed, who went to Greece with me before our senior year of high school. We were never close friends, but we'll always have that tie between us. It's still listed as the best week of my life. Another classmate of mine was there - Alex. I haven't talked to him since graduation, but it was nice to see him again. He kept reminding me of elementary school. Why didn't anyone ever tell us during those second grade lunches, that the social skills we honed there would someday be useful at a bar fifteen years down the road? My cousins and I left the bar at a reasonable hour. I drove them home and we had a good conversation about our family. It was good to get their opinions on things that Kelly and I talk about like our parents and grandparents. On Christmas, my aunt told me that they had had a good time out with me. They then teased me by telling everyone how sloppy I was and how I'm a talkative drunk. I was reminded of how serious my family thinks I am and how most of them don't understand me. I hope that my time with my cousins has at least convinced them that I'm not a stiff bore and that we'll continue to go out whenever we're all home at the same time.

From Moscow

Sometimes my mom makes comments like, "Why aren't you staying in town longer?" or "Why don't you use more vacation to come home?" The highlight of my day today was watching the Sumo World Championship on ESPN2. I didn't know that white guys compete in stuff like that. The Bulgarians were kicking butt.

Ugly Christmas Sweater

I crashed an ugly Christmas sweater party last night. Christie brought me along to a coworker’s party. Lucky for me though, she had spent the day scouring the Goodwill for sweater that I could wear. It was actually a sweatshirt. It had a large bear in Christmas-wear on the front. And then on the back, was the back of the bear. It was sweet. The sleeves only came down to three quarters of my arms. I made the finals in the sweater-off, but the guy in the woman’s candy cane sweater and Santa troll pin took home the prize.

During the party, Christie and I were talking about holiday plans and whether or not we’d be going home. Another party guest overheard us talking about Moscow, PA and was interested to hear more about our hometown. It turns out that he knows someone in Moscow and has been there a few times. We quizzed him on places and names and it turns out that he really had been to NEPA. What a strange coincidence.

Wisconsin is cold. Seriously, when the temperature reaches the twenties, we all talk about how warm it is. And there are no traces of sarcasm.

Fields

This past Sunday I went to Chicago with my new friend, John, and his girlfriend, Kate. We wanted to check out the city in Christmas-mode. Our first stop was Marshall Fields - specifically the Walnut Room, which is supposedly the place to eat when doing your holiday shopping. We had to wait in line for an hour, just to get a pager. That was at 11 o'clock. They told us they could seat us at 2 - probably. So, we wandered the downtown, went to eat, looked at the windowfronts and shopped a little, while we waited for our table. Yes, we ate, while waiting to eat.

At a quarter to 2, we went back to the Walnut Room floor. They had not paged us yet but said that we could get in line anyway. We still had to wait another 45 minutes to get a table. Then when we finally sat down, we realized that half of the tables were not even set - they were trying to create the heavy demand! This pissed us off, but we stayed anyway.

The big attraction of the Walnut Room is the giant Christmas Tree in the center of the dining area. Sure, it was nice, but I don't think it's worth waiting 4 hours for. Plus, you can see it from the furniture department directly above the Walnut Room. Another drawing point of the restaurant is the Fairy Princess. This is a woman who goes to all the dining tables and sprinkles fairy dust (actually just mundane glitter) on all the children. She's dressed up in a fancy dress and she has a wand. I'm sure she's magical to little kids. Anyway, the father at the table next to us pointed out how great it would be if "the big kids" at our table were sprinkled with dust too. Kate full-heartedly agreed and John and I agreed too, but not nearly as emphatically. It made for some great pictures and, if Kate gets them to me, I'll send them along to you. The princess fairy took a great deal of liberty when sprinkling John and me. John's hair looked white with glitter. And hours later I was still shaking loose pieces off of my head. It wasn't until I went swimming the next day that I finally lost all of it. Even the pizza guy at dinner asked us, "Dude, what's with all the glitter?" It's fairy dust, buddy, and it makes me fly.

At one point in our shopping, Kate suggested that I buy the fancy chocolate from Marshall Fields, which is called Frango. She and John insisted that it's good enough that I should bring some home to my parents for Christmas. Though not wanting to sound too snobbish, I declined, explaining to them that my hometown has it's own chocolate provider, Gertrude Hawk. I went on about Moscow (as I tend to do) and talked about the recent fire at the chocolate factory and how Mr. Hawk is a volunteer firefighter with my sister. Kate and John listened politely, but still said that I should pick out a small box and try it. I looked around and then discovered that each box of Frango's chocolate was stamped with the message: "Manufactured by Gertrude Hawk Chocolates, Dunmore (football team rival of Moscow), PA." The parenthetical information was not stamped on the box, but it should have been.

True Story.

BONYE 2006

It's official. I'll be in Boston for New Year's Eve. I plan to be there from Thursday night until Sunday night.

Late Night with New Friends
Candle Burning from Both Sides
Early Morning Swim

Christmas Party

I survived the "Holiday Party." But I'm wondering how my coworkers did. Amazingly I think I was the most sober of the bunch - even though my guest was my flask of Jim. And noone helped me drink it! The party was held in Kohler, Wisconsin, known for its toilets and bathroom fixtures. There were a couple of office parties being held in the same ballroom so there were a bunch of tables though we only took up three of them.

This morning I managed to wake up at 9. Actually someone had called my phone, though the number was "unknown" so I may never know who it was. I made a quick sweep of the continental breakfast and saved the stash in my room. I bundled up and headed out to the sports center and gym. It was a full-fledged salon and spa, but only affiliated with the hotel. I had to walk past a frozen lake, on which there were ice fishermen. The gym had 2 lap pools. The showers had three showerheads. They had real soap. And towel service! It takes so little to impress me. It was great.

The extra money was definitely worth staying in a nice hotel over night and the peace of mind of not having to drive home or watch how much I drink.

I should also point out some highlights of the night. Scanning the crowds for bad hair pieces with a new coworker's husband. Dancing with the new guy's cute girl friend. A lot. Not being punched by the new guy. Telling the manager, flabbergasted by discovering the latest office romance, that there's a lot more that goes on in the office that he doesn't know about. The electric slide.

Phone w/ Adina

Last night I talked to Adina for quite a long while. That's not the important part of the story.

During the night I had a dream about our conversation. I dreamed that Charley had somehow got his hands on a written transcript of the conversation and was upset over things we had said. Then I was transported to a BU dorm and I had to talk to one of my residents because she was upset over the written transcripts of our conversation. But I wasn't back in the dormitory, I was an RA in a frat house. Everyone was getting ready for a dance as I talked to this girl and then I was pulled away because people were complaining about a naked guy in the kitchen.

I rarely remember my dreams. And when I do they normally have nothing to do with my life - current or past. I don't know why this one was different.

Like college, but without the books

This will be my third straight night of drinking (with no end in sight).

Two days ago I went out with the new transfer to the Milwaukee office. We went to a small pub - the new guy, his girlfriend, the guy from church (whose girlfriend I met on Sunday), and Ann (whose parents' house I went to for Thanksgiving.) It wasn't the best night out ever but that was because everyone was meeting each other for the first time and there were a good number of introductory-type conversations. But it was a pleasant enough night that I did stay out until 12:30. This was also the same evening that Christie and I went to the Walt Whitman poetry reading. The best line from that event: "Whitman was not afraid of expressing his manly love."

Last night I went to dinner at one of those family-style Italian restaurants. Ann organized it but she was sick and didn't show up. That left four diners which was just barely enough to make the large meal worth it. The new girl at work came with me. She's new to Milwaukee. Her husband still lives in Chicago and she goes back there every weekend, so I don't get many chances to invite her out. We all ate a ton. And the bottle of wine was good too.

Tonight Jake comes home. He's been in Chicago all week. And last week he had been back East for the holiday. We were in the apartment at the same time for about an hour on Sunday, so we caught up a little. He's already called me as he's driving back. Maybe I'll have the Creepy Daves prepared for when he arrives.

Tomorrow is my office holiday party. This year I have reserved a room at the hotel so that I won't have to worry about driving home. Everyone has asked me if I plan to bring my flask again. The office manager wanted to know if my guest will be Jack or Jim.

My weekend has begun

We finally finished our United Way Campaign at work today. I feel that I have been on this committee forever. I wouldn't mind it so much if it weren't so democratic. Do we really need a meeting to discuss everything? The order in which we raffle off prizes. The limit of tickets a person is allowed to buy. Who's going to ask the United Way contact person for stickers. What we really need is a United Way 2006 Campaign Committee Dictator, or perhaps an Enlightened Despot. Someone to rule with an iron fist. There were four of us on the committee. Our office only has 32 people in it. More than ten percent of the office was on this committee! That's hardly an indirect democracy.

It was also quite evident that I was the only non-democrat on the committee as we argued over raffle ticket distribution. The other three thought that there should be a limit to how many tickets one person could receive. They thought that after someone gives $500, that person should be ineligible to have any more chances in the raffle. "That's fair," they said. No it's not. And really, if someone gives $1000 to the United Way give them a $10 gift certificate to Qdoba. I don't care if they make more money than the rest of us. They donated a large chunk of money to a good cause. We should applaud that and make it known.

I was done with work at 4:30. I didn't do much today. I was caught up in the United Way beauracracy. But I stayed until 6 anyway. I had important things to do like make my football picks and steal left over pizza from lunch. I tried to convince someone to go to see Harry Potter IV with me tonight, but nobody would. Of course, I understand that most people are working tomorrow, but I expected there to be one closet Potter fan amongst the people I've met in Milwaukee.

I suppose I should leave for the theater soon. I'll bring a book to read while I wait in line.

Tomorrow I go to meet Tom in Chicago. I'm excited to see him. We're going to a Brewery tour. Jake, Katie, and Christie are definitely coming with us. The other people flaked out on me. But then John from church said that he'd like to meet us too. But I think he has to do the 6 o'clock news. That's so weird.

"Hi, I'm under 50 too."

I made a new friend!

And I met him at church. And he's not a weirdo (at least as far as I can tell, yet).

A few weeks ago I noticed another young guy at church. I figured it was someone's son, so I didn't say anything. But then on Sundaywe passed each other and said, "hi," and started to talk. It's sort of funny because I kept imagining that's how dogs see the world. There could be tons of other people around but a dog only really notices other dogs. I automatically noticed the other person in the sanctuary who was younger than 50.

After the service there was a lunch and we sat with each other - as well as the old ladies. There are some other people in our congregation who are in their 20s, but they are all chemistry doctoral students from Africa. They stick together and after discussing organic versus inorganic, I'm tapped for conversations.

John and I sat and had a pleasant conversation about college and moving around for jobs. I'm calling him "John" because it turns out that he works for a local news station and is a regular reporter. I had to admit to him that without a TV I wasn't even sure what the local stations are, let alone who he is. As we left church we exchanged phone numbers and decided to go out for coffee on Tuesday night.

Today we set up a meeting place and time. We met for coffee (but I drank juice). I didn't know how to ask him if he drank alcohol. Eventually though our conversation went to what we do for fun and it became apparant that we both frequent the local bars. So, we decided to go across the street for a drink. It was nice and I enjoyed talking with him. We don't have much in common when it comes to interests. He didn't even know there was Johnny Cash movie released this week! But it turns out that John knows a good deal about his pension plan and I know more than I thought I did about broadcasting.

John plans to celebrate Dan Goldin Day with Tom and me on Friday.

Parental Visit II

Sometimes I pick radio stations simply to spite my parents.

Parental Visit

My parents are in town. To kick off a Milwaukeean weekend, we went for dinner at a German restaurant. The leftovers are in the fridge and they stink. I can't believe I ate that stuff.

The visit so far has been enjoyable. Let's see what a full day together is like.

Catch the Spirit

At dinner last night, Jake, completely unprompted, says to me, "So, what are our plans for Dan Goldin Day?"

True Story.

After my exam, I went shopping for a GameBoy. Why are there so many people in the mall on a Tuesday afternoon? And why were there children there? I almost asked two kids why they weren't at school.

I walked into the electronics store.

Nerdy Electronics Store Clerk (but probably the manager): Can I help you?

Me: Yes, I'm looking for a GameBoy. Do you also have used ones?

NESC: Yes, we do, but I'd honestly suggest you buy the new one. It has great new features. It comes in graphite or blah, blah, blah.

Me: (What's graphite? I know its chemical symbol is C, but that's also coal and diamonds and they are black and clear. I wonder what graphite is.)

NESC: blah, blah, blah...and that's why you should get the blah, blah, blah.

Me: Ok, if I have games from my old grey brick GameBoy, can I still use it on this player?

NESC: Yes, other features include...blah, blah, blah.


Later, at the register:

NESC: Can I interest you in-

Me: I will probably not come into your store again in the next year? (When I worked in the bookstore, this is how I tried selling the frequent buyer card - I first asked if they shopped with us enough to warrant a card.)

NESC: This magazine is great because it has an unbiased view of various gaming systems, even Nintendo. As I can see from your purchase, you have great taste in games.

Me: (I'm buying Pokemon and Super Mario 3. My tastes suck.)

NESC: Also, this magazine will make sure you never miss anything important.

Me: (Like the ratification of the Iraqi constitution?) I really don't think I would appreciate your magazine, but thank you.

So much fun

My exam was so much fun today, I think I'll take it again in May. Out of 40 questions, I probably guessed at 20. That is flat-out guessing, not even doing the problem. There were also about 10 that I did and my answer was not one of the five choices so I just had to choose one that was close by. I don't get my results until January. I'm not sure if I should start studying now or wait for the score. There is a chance that I passed, especially because the exam is graded on a curve. As for tonight, though, Jake and I opened up the grey goose and popped in his Married...with Children DVD, Season 1. The grey goose helped me to appreciate the show.

Jack & Co.

Jake is taking his GMAT tomorrow. He'll be starting his exam 4 hours after mine is completed, which means that he'll have to catch up to 8 hours of drinking. In anticipation of our Tuesday night celebration, we have in our kitchen: Jack, Jim, Grey Goose, Blue Curacao, Gordon's, Captain Morgan, Bacardi Vanila, and a couple of coronas. Given how little we've been drinking over the past two months we have enough liquor to outlast our lease.

But we do have 12 new cocktail glasses, and we're itching to use them all in one sitting.

Practice Exam

My exam is tomorrow. There will be 40 problems on it, to be completed in 4 hours.

Yesterday I took a mini-practice exam: 10 problems in an hour. I received a 40% (that's 4 correct). That's really not too bad of a score, especially considering that the questions were not the typical; they had been written by a professor at University of Chicago who felt that they represented what the SOA (Society of Actuaries) expects of us. What concerns me more is that of the 4 correct problems, 3 of them were guesses. The problems that I actually computed were wrong, save 1. Oh boy.

Anticipation

The actuarial outpost still has not confirmed my registration to be a member of the discussion forums. I have things to say. I want to be accepted by my actuarial brethren (and sistren). I have pension questions that need to be answered.

Have you heard the latest actuarial news? During last Thursday's Course 8 exam, some of the Pension exam takers were given the wrong case study; they were given the Medical Benefits study! Aye carumba! Bosha moi! Years of preparation and hard work and they were given the wrong test! Some proctors, quick-thinking (or not), took it upon themselves to find copies of the correct test and made copies of it for the students who had the wrong exams. This is fine except for those people across the country who ended up not receiving the correct exam. This is a big deal because these exams are graded on a curve. So, either a bunch of people will be disqualified because they followed the proctors' lead or a bunch of people will be pissed that they were given an exam they did not prepare for. I don't know how the Society will sort this out.

nothing special

I really like this actuarial discussion forum that I've found. Perhaps, now I won't spend so much time reading friends' blogs while I'm at work.

The past few days have not been too eventful. After work I go to the library to study. And after that I come home to study. I do a good deal of daydreaming during the day and thinking about things besides mortality rates, but I don't seem to remember any of those thoughts when I go to sit in front of my computer.

Oops, there's another ladybug on my computer. They are all over this apartment. Not just within, but they're on the outside of the building too. When I was walking in front of my building yesterday, one flew straight at my eye - full speed. And man, those things can be solid, when they hit you straight on. My hands automatically went for my face and my body flew back with my head. I wonder if anyone saw me on the street as I battled the crazy ladybug.

Today is Jake's birthday. He had dinner with his girlfriend and her family. He invited me too, but then uninvited me when I hesitated as I decided. He said he understands that I want to study. That wasn't why I hesitated. I just thought it would be weird to meet the GF's family like that. It would be his party, but because I'm the new guy, I'd probably get the attention. Either way, I'm glad I got out of it. I actually did some studying tonight, though I skipped my stained glass class to do so.

For his birthday, Jake received 12 cocktail glasses, a martini mixer, and a bottle of blue curacao from the GF's family. What kind of person do they think he is?

New level of Nerdiness.

I hit a new level of nerdiness today when I found the discussion forum for pension actuaries and was excited. Let the good times roll!

Nickel Creek & The Ditty Bops

The night after the Matt Nathanson concert I saw Nickel Creek. They were playing just down the street from me. I recently bought their album and think it's great. I listen to it, on average, once a day. Well, I used to, but that was before I bought the Ditty Bops' album.

The show was so good. Pure entertainment. It's hard to classify the music, though most stores would put these bands in the Country/Blue Grass section. But that's mostly based on the fact that they use mandolins. The Bops also have washboards, upright bass, a guitar, keyboard, and various other sound makers. Their show was fantastic. When a musician didn't have something to play during a song, he/she would do something to help the show. One percussionist had so few parts to play that he managed to carve a jack-o-lantern during his downtime. There were juggling, a sword fight, and dancing. There were also "pirate songs" as the Ditty Bops have challenged themselves to write a "pirate song" every day that they are on tour. I can't explain them, but if you get the chance to see them, do it. They are a treat for the ears, the eyes, and the mind.

Nickel Creek headlined. They are a trio of violin, mandolin, and guitar. They also had bass back-up. The mostly played stuff from their new album Why Should the Fire Die? Full of life and spunk, but also touching. And there were definitely funny moments in the show. At one point, the two siblings argued a little back-and-forth as only brother and sister can. They also introduced a song by saying that they cover it because it really is "pure, unadulturated fun." The opening notes sounded familar, but it wasn't till a long screechy note of the violin before I recognized Britney Spears' "Toxic." It was funny, but it was also extremely well done. Two encores before we let them leave, and the first included some tap-dancing by the bassist.

Note to self: Look for a tap-dancing class again.

Wireless

Jake and I (actually just Jake) finally hooked up our internet via the wireless router. It had been two months that I was using my laptop on the floor of my bedroom behind the door so that I would be close enough to the jack, power cord, and telephone. The designers of the apartment were either not thinking about personal computer usage or had planned on our wireless abilities.

charming

I have been home for most of the day with NPR playing in the background while I study. I don't know how many times I have heard it mentioned today that Judge Alito's confirmation will not go as smoothly as Justice Roberts, because he's not as charming. Is that really such a big deal? I mean, certainly, John Roberts took the "Most Attractive Justice" title from...uh...well...well, he has the title now, but I really didn't think that played a role in the selection of a justice. Physical features are important for elected officials, but I thought appointed positions are based more on abilities and cronyism.

Matt & Matt & Kate

Last Thursday, I drove out to Madison for a Matt Nathanson concert. It had two opening acts: Kate Earl and Matt W-something. I had convinced a friend, Ann, to come for the drive with me; it was our first road trip.

I took the afternoon to study, so we were able to get on the road, sharply at 5 o’clock. Ann’s a teacher so she had been home at 4. Even with our early departure though, we hit traffic leaving Milwaukee. But really, the worst Milwaukee traffic is better than Chicago traffic at 8 pm on a Sunday. We had a good ride. Ann and I have mutual friends and we were able to compare stories on them. Ann was also planning a Halloween party so we talked about that. The conversation was pretty mundane and didn’t really get good until we each had a drink at the pub where we ate dinner. When I say, “we” I mean Ann as she is small and it only takes one drink for her conversations to go into normally taboo waters.

The concert began at 7:30. We were in the doors at 7:35. But alas, we only heard one of Kate Earl’s songs. We were buying drinks during “Hero” and only made it to the “stage area” for “Officer.” I’m disappointed that we didn’t get to see more of her set. But it was nice after the show when I talked to her at her merchandise booth. I asked her to sign my CD and Ann took it from her purse. Kate asked, “Did you bring this with you? Did you buy this in a store? That’s great.”

I replied, “Yes, the radio in Milwaukee plays you all the time.” But I don’t think that she was impressed with our 90-mile trek to see her perform. I suppose 90 miles to an Alaskan is nothing. When that didn’t get much reaction, I said, “My friends saw you last week in Boston and thought you were great."

But I dropped that train of thought though, because Kate only said, “You bought my CD in a store. That’s great.” She was cool. She signed my CD “To Donny [heart] Kate Earl. So, apparently she has already forgotten Tom.

The first Matt on the stage wasn’t as bad as I had expected. Tom and Felecia had me prepared for torture, but it was ok. The girls sharing our table told us that they actually came to the concert for Matt W-something; that he plays on campus sometimes. Most of the audience knew who he was and sang along to his songs. Ann thought he was adorable. But that may have been the beer talking. He did have a short guy playing a guitar next to him. I only mention this because I thought the guy was sitting down, but he wasn’t – just very short.

Matt Nathanson made it to the stage, but he wasn’t alone. He had a band. Huh? Where’s the cellist? I want Matt Fish, not drums, rhythm guitar, and bass. I thought about the other performances of his that I’ve seen in Boston, and part of the attraction was that it was just MN and his guitar (sometimes accompanied by cello) putting on a show. Sometimes quiet, sometimes surprisingly rocking, but never with all the extras that tend to cover up lyrics and melody.

MN mostly played his own songs. We didn’t hear any Bon Jovi or Boston. Is this because he’s gaining popularity, or is this a different audience in Wisconsin? The only covers we heard were Duran Duran’s “Hungry Like the Wolf,” Prince’s “Starfish & Coffee,” and James’ “Laid.” But I don’t count the last two as covers because he plays those all the time.

I was also surprised at how lewd MN was. I don’t remember that. At one point he went on and on about the drummer’s penis. It wasn’t cute, like a story about “the best chicken you’ve ever had” just dirty. Actually there was a lot of talk about genitalia. It was somewhat awkward. Those of you who saw him in Boston last week, did you have a similar experience? Has MN changed over time, or just over distance?

I went to MN’s website recently and noticed that he has a new tour stop – in Milwaukee. I didn’t have to drive the 90 miles; I can walk to his next concert. And the concert is in 2 weeks, on November 15^th. I’m not sure if I want to go. I had a great time in Madison, it just seems too soon. Also, it’s at Marquette University, in their auditorium, and I’m not sure if I want to sit in a theater with a bunch of college freshmen. But, that’ll be a week after my exam and if I can find a buddy to with me, I think I’ll cough up the money.

Quotation of the night

Me (to Jake): Whenever I end up talking to strange drunkards at the bar like that guy, I always end up feeling homesick.

Set-up for Failure

This afternoon I am home studying for my next exam, which will be here in less than 2 weeks. I am not ready. And I'm starting to prepare myself for failure. This isn't really a big deal, though. Most people fail Exam 3 on their first try. Most fail it on their second try too. The pass rate is usually about 30% so actually most people just plain fail it. This is the important exam that is based on actuarial mathematics. This is the whole reason that actuaries exist. Other exams cover calculus, statistics, regression, time series, economics, laws, interest theory, etc. But this is the crux. If one is bad at this exam, he probably won't be a good actuary.

I have never had a class on actuarial mathematics. So, while most students spend two semesters on this subject, I had to learn it on my own in 3 months. I have done a good deal, but it probably hasn't been enough.

On my side, however, is the fact that for the last exam sitting, Exam FM (sequencially before Exam M) was much easier than expected. They passed about 70%, which is unheard of in the actuarial community. Therefore, there are a good number of extra people taking my exam who probably don't realize how much they should be studying. Luckily though I have some earlier experience before FM was so easy, so I have a grasp of what is expected of me.

Despite my concerns though, I am driving to Madison tonight, to see Matt Nathanson and Kate Earl. Whoohoo. What if I get hit by a bus the day before my exam? I'd be upset if I missed this concert for an exam that I never even took.

Weekend Update

I told myself that I would study on Friday night. But I went to dinner with Jake, Katie, and Christie. Christie is from Moscow, PA. She was recently offered a job in Milwaukee as an engineer. She lives in my apartment complex. We had dinner and then Jake and Katie had their own plans. Christie and I went to all of the open art galleries around the downtown as it was Gallery Night in Milwaukee, but we became tired of that decided to go barhopping instead. I took her to the spy-themed speakeasy, which she loved - though she didn't like their special "code beer." We then made our way to the dueling piano bar. She had never been to one but we had a great time. We had run out of cash at this point of the night and there was a $20 minimum to use our card. So what else could we do? We had to keep ordering beer.

On Saturday night, two of my coworkers through a party at their house in the suburbs. They invited quite a few people from work so I asked if I could bring some of my friends. They thought that this would be great, so I brought Jake and Katie, Christie, and Ann. There were only five other guests who showed up at the party. So, I literally was half the party. We carved pumpkins and watched the World Series. In honor of the White Sox, I wore my new mullet wig. It was hot. I don't mean that in the temperature way, even though it did keep the back of my neck warm. I again carved a George W. Bush jack-o-lantern, but it wasn't nearly as good as last year's. They eyes weren't beady enough, but I again captured the sneer and the big ears.

I worried that Jake and Katie didn't have a good time at the party but today Jake told me what a good time he had. I wonder if the big screen TV helped. He mentioned that since moving to Milwaukee he usually hangs out with Katie's family, "which is cool, but it's nice to be with a bunch of people our age again." He then gave some examples that he could make obscure Simpsons references and jokes about animal sex and nutsacs. (We played Balderdash and had to come up with the storyline of a movie titled Pardon my Trunk.)

Church this morning. And a run in the early afternoon. I fell asleep while studying. Ann and Karen invited me to their apartment for a homemade pizza dinner tonight. That was a relaxing time as we sat around the table and made fun of each other all evening.

Ray called tonight and we talked for quite a while. He had his military medical check on Friday and tomorrow he has his physical fitness test. I don't know how I feel about his joining the marines. I suppose if it's what he really wants to do, then he should go for it. But it's also quite scary.

Recently I've been thinking a lot about what's missing from my Milwaukee friends. Jake and Christie keep me talking about our mutual friends from Boston and Moscow and I can't help but be reminded of how good I had it in both of those locations. After this weekend I felt that I now have the materials to build a circle of friends here in Milwaukee. I have talked to both, Jake and Christie, about this and they want to be a part of it too. Part of me is concerned that I didn't put as much time into studying this week that I spent on socializing. But then the rest of me feels that there is an optimal time to build relationships with people or you miss that chance. Now may be one of those times and tests will be given again.

For those of you that know Ray, you may find this hard to believe, but I always feel so much better after talking to him. Somehow he always makes me think about what's actually important in life. I don't know if it's because we find stress in different things, or because some of our values are completely at odds with each other, but I always come away from our talks feeling that the world is going to work out just fine.

P.S. Happy Mole Day

No escape

Hands down, the most uncomfortable time during my visit home, was a conversation with my mom while we drove to a quilt show. The quilts were in Montrose, PA, which is about 1 ½ hours from Moscow. It’s an extremely picturesque drive, passing old farmhouses and homes with large verandas. The leaves on the rolling hills were a range of colors and they were still on the trees. We took backroads because we had the time and it was a lot prettier.

However, for part of the drive I was distracted from the scenery because we talked about menopause, and more specifically, my mom’s menopause. (I’m not going to worry about her reading this entry until she learns to turn on a computer. And even then I don’t think she could navigate the internet anyway. I’m not being mean - during the weekend she asked me if an iPod is something to sleep in.)

The conversation started innocently enough. We never actually said the word, “menopause.” Mom was telling humorous stories about how emotional she is these days. She can’t read the newspaper mostly because of the coverage of dead soldiers, however less emotional stories get the tear ducts going too. She also says she cries during church. She then moved onto stories about her friends, mostly the Material Girls (her quilt group). She also told me about a neighbor whose husband has suggested that his wife see a psychiatrist. We both laughed at this because we think the couple needs psychiatric help for much more serious reasons. Mom then started going off on how men don’t understand and how dumb we are. She brought up 13-year-old girls and I panicked. Suddenly staring straight ahead out of the windshield wasn’t enough separation from this topic.

I did what any nerd would do in my situation. I made the topic scientific, even a little mathematical. I recalled the information from my research paper on estrogen and Alzheimer’s disease during junior year’s endocrinology class. I talked about how a man produces a level amount of estrogen through his whole life so there’s no shock to his body. When his testosterone level rapidly declines, it doesn’t affect him as severely as a woman is affected by her estrogen drop. There are theories relating women’s decline in estrogen to the higher relative number of female Alzheimer’s patients. My mom had nothing to add to this part of the conversation, as I had hoped. I had successfully hijacked the conversation. We turned to talking about the silly exploits of the neighbors and we never looked back.

Church benediction

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you will live deep within your heart. May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you will work for justice, equality, and peace. May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you will reach out your hand to comfort them and change their pain to joy. And may God bless you with the foolishness to think that you can make a difference in the world, so that you will do things, which others tell you cannot be done.

-Author Unknown.

Ranger School

One of the first things I thought about on September 11, 2001 was the Draft. I remember crossing the Mass Pike to the boathouse for my sailing class and thinking about whether we were at war. I walked with Beth and Jackie who were talking about apartment things. That discussion seemed silly at the time, but they had not watched the news that morning and I had only overheard rumors of "attacks" at the library, so I did not feel it was my job to spread possibly false information. While they talked my mind raced with all of the possabilities that "attacks" could mean and what the United States' response would be. I thought about what my response to that response would be. Would I join the military or wait for inscription? Or would I dodge it? I even had a professor at the time (chain-smoking, Green Quaker), who told us that if we (the men in her class) needed help in the future she knew ways to get out of a war.

During this time I remember often talking about the Draft to my friends. And it was funny because all of the guys had similar reactions to the attacks - we first thought about military service, but the girls hadn't given it nearly as much thought. As the days and then weeks passed, we realized that this wasn't WWIII. Dubya came out of hiding and we had a better idea of what action would be taken. It would not be such a large-scale operation as I had been thinking about. We began to return to thinking more about our individual advancements and not so much of the country's. However, Tyler continued to talk about military service. At the end of sophomore year, actually on the 4th of July, he told me that he intended to enlist after graduation. I thought it was a good idea. He gave me professional reasons for why it was a good move, but I know his decision was more for personal reasons, and I agreed with those.

Later that year, my feelings towards the military started to change. I dealt with high school friends who had enlisted. They weren't happy. The war in Iraq began. People were questioning why the US was there. And I hoped that Tyler's decision had changed.

But it didn't. And he enlisted. And he's been in training for more than a year now. And I hope that his training continues until the various campaigns are complete. Or I hope that he's stationed in Oklahoma.

Today he begins training for Army Rangers. He should be proud of his making that cut. I am and I'm also impressed. I hope he excels - I think he will - but part of me would like to see him return home.

Matt & Kate

I just bought my tickets for the Matt Nathanson and Kate Earl show.

Work

Today I had a meeting with my people manager (PM) - the guy I was recently assigned to because the original person quit. I don't like my new PM, professionally nor personally. Two months ago, when we set up this meeting, I had no idea what we would talk about. However, I had plenty to say today. Of course, he spent a good deal of time talking about things completely unrelated to my job. He spent 15 minutes talking about Medicare reforms. I work on Pensions. I know it was 15 minutes because I watched the clock outside his window for the entire time.

One highlight of the meeting was when I said my annual goals were "silly" and "I'm not going to do these."

Another good part of today's meeting was the look on PM's face during the following exchange:

PM: Well, at least we've recognized the problems.
Me: But you recognized these problems a year ago. It's frustrating to know that Brian and Mike [the guys who quit this summer] had these same complaints a year ago, and now I have them.
PM: uuuuhh. Yeah, we don't want you to quit.

This was actually enough to get PM to sit up straight. He spent most of the meeting leaning back in his chair with his feet on his desk. He also yawned at least 7 times. Like a lion. In the middle of his sentences. I don't even think he knows he does it. It's rude, but it bothers me more just because it's awkward. Do I avert my eyes from his feet on the desk? Do I not look at his tonsils while he's yawning? These situations did not come up in corporate orientation training.

In other office news, a stressed out Jason (5 years my senior but the next person in seniority to me) snapped back at a consultant and pulled me into his complaint too. He makes a valiant complaint, with which no one can argue: we have too much work, all of it is labeled as "urgent," there has been no signs of new hires, and they expect us to have time to study.

Also, I heard that at a planning meeting, the bigwigs were discussing future projects and they kept saying, "Well, Donny's on that team." or "Donny's supposed to do that." until finally someone made a remark that I can't possibly do everything that was mentioned.

So, what I'm trying to get at is that today at work, everyone was super-nice to me. I think either they're afraid that I'm going to quit without warning or they know that they'll be asking me to do work for them in the near future.

Along this line, Jason greeted me this morning with, "Oh, you're hear today?"

"Yeah, did I say I was going to be somewhere else?"

"No, there are just some days that I wonder if you're going to come back here the next day."

holiday

Was today a holiday? I noticed that none of my friends posted today except for Jenn, who wrote about her day off. I worked. I worked for a little under 12 hours. And I did not enjoy it.

The best part of today was after work. A friend of mine from Pennsylvania, Christie, has moved to Milwaukee and tonight, we met at a local bar. I had dinner and she had some post-dinner soup. She told me about her weekend and how she's doing in Milwaukee. She ended up moving into the same apartment complex that I'm in, though a different building. It's funny that she's going through some of the same experiences that I had a year ago. For example, she tried the neighborhood church, where they prey on young people, and was frightened away despite their zealous invitations to socialize after church.

She realized that everyone else at work is married. And they talk about football all of the time. (I let her know that the football talk doesn't stop when the season is over either.) Her boss drives an SUV and has a W '04 sticker on it. Christie's an environmental engineer and was greatly bothered by this last discovery. At least I know that she's signed on for a year-long lease, so she has to give Milwaukee a decent chance.

Moscow Update

Today was my first full day back home in Moscow, PA. It is my sister, Kelly's, 22nd birthday.

I woke up at 8 to go for a walk around the neighborhood with my mom, like we used to do when I was in middle school - before I had a job or a driver's license to get away from the house. We talked about life as a 20-something. It was an actual conversation. She listened to what I had to say and I didn't tune out some of her stories. It was nice.

Back at home we watched a little Regis and Kathie Lee (with Kelly Ripa). We watched a little Ellen and then the painter guy, Paul, showed up. Paul is painting most of the house because my parents are buying a new refridgerator. It's a long story; let me elaborate. Dad wants a new fridge because he cooks now. When I lived with Dad, he used to have me make him sandwiches because he didn't know where the mayonaise was. Dad wants a new fridge - one that he won't have to bend down to the vegetable drawer. This higher-vegetable model is 33 inches wide - 3 inches wider than the allotted space. So, they need to move the kitchen cabinets. If one moves the cabinets though, new wallpaper will be needed because the wallpaper is very dirty, especially near the stove where Dad has learned that pots need lids or they spatter. Well, as long as the wallpaper is changing let's put in new floor covering. Lose the linoleum, bring in the hardwood. And while you're at it, put hardwood floors in the living room too. Rip up the carpet. And then, this is where the logic loses me, paint the whole house too. At the bar tonight, Kelly added to this story and told me that my parents also plan to get a plasma TV for above the fireplace.

My mom asked me today if an iPod is something to sleep in.

I studied this morning while Paul whistled about the house.

I went running around Lake Scranton with Jim. I learned some good gossip from him. Chris's girlfriend is pregnant. Carrie has a top-secret government job. And I can't remember the rest but it was a run's worth.

I went to the cider mill with Kelly. We bought apples and cider. She revealed some family gossip that I never knew about and has me concerned. She also told me about a recent suicide - a kid a year ahead of me in school - actually one of the elementary school bullies. Even my dad asked, "Wasn't he the mean kid on the bus?" (My dad would struggle to name ten people I graduated with, but somehow he remembers this guy.)

I visited with my high school Latin teacher, the Kak. We talked about books, her medical problems, my life in Milwaukee, and more gossip. The ninth grade English teacher has certainly left his wife for the geometry teacher who is going through a divorce. This story was confirmed by the woman I sat next to during my flight from Detroit to Scranton. Very coincidental, but during my flight, I sat next to an old teacher from my high school. I never had her, but she knew my name. I was going to press her for details during my flight, but I knew that the Kak would tell me just as much, but without judgement.

Dinner with the family at one of the Japanese restaurants in town. I ordered the sashimi, and didn't have to share with anyone. Great.

After dinner, Kelly and I hit up the bar for her birthday. No drunken debauchery, but we did see some old friends of mine. It probably wasn't tons of fun for her, but if her friends were old enough, they were welcome to come out too.

I had better go to bed soon. Tomorrow I'm going to a quilt show with Mom.

ugh

I have a client meeting at 8 am tomorrow. Straight from work, I'm going to the airport to fly home. Speaking of home, a girl from Moscow moved to Milwaukee today. She's already offered to drive me to the airport. I love the small-town mentality of always helping our neighbors. I've already offered her the use of my car while I'm gone so that she can look for apartments. She also may need some supplies for the new apartment while she waits for her grandparents to drive here with the moving truck. I think I may put together a survival kit - you know some utensils, a lamp, duct tape - the essentials, for the mean time.

Kate & Ray

Katie called me. She's back in the states but she has a long lay over in LA. A one-week layover. Her friend, whom she's staying with, sent her a message saying that he'd be late at work and she should find dinner on her own. I told her to give Ray a call. And I gave her his phone number.

I hope she calls him. And I hope he takes her somewhere. And I hope that that somewhere is K-town. And I hope she has stories for us.

Opening Credits

I had high expectations for yesterday - but they fell through.

I acquired the high expectations on Monday morning, when I returned to my apartment after my swim. This was the first time in weeks that Jake and I were getting ready at the same time. We were both going through our morning rituals in our respective bathrooms, but I could hear his music playing. I didn't recognize it but it was upbeat and powerful. It reminded me of pop rock from the 80s. And it reminded me of the opening credits to a movie.

You know, the type of movie in which there are "normal" suburban people who suddenly have something incredible happen to them. The movie always begins with the main characters getting ready for the day, completely unaware of their fates. And the character, if he's cool, has everything go his way: he catches the toast as it pops out of the toaster, the parking spot in front of the school is open. But if he's the loser character, the little brother gets in the bathroom first and the school bus drives away as he runs to it.

On Monday morning I felt like I was the cool character. Something was going to happen. Doc was going to whisk me away in his Delorean. Ducky and I would make plans for the upcoming dance. Or maybe, my father and I would switch bodies for a day.

My expectations have not panned out. The government forms I have been working on will make a terrible movie. The auditor's request will make no impact on the future, let alone take me there. But I'm not too disappointed. The movie could have turned out to be a horror flick or even worse, an M. Night Shymalan project.

Weekend Update

My weekend was frustrating and I don't feel that I got much out of it. A good deal happened but nothing very memorable. However, on paper the events look good, so perhaps the pay-outs will be later in life and perhaps I'll never even see the pay-outs.

For example, on Saturday evening I took Tyrone out. Tyrone is the high school kid I mentor through the YMCA. I had hoped that we could see a play at a little black box theater, where I have season tickets, but the show was sold out. So, instead we saw Corpse Bride. (This was my second time.) We ate dinner at the theater - it was the type of movie house with couches and tables and they bring real food out to you to eat during the movie. I brought Tyrone there because he's always talking about "the females" but I don't think he does anything with them. He just gets their numbers for now. But someday, when he is going out on dates, I want those dates to be more than Appleby's and the Cineplex. This mentoring is more than academics.

We did talk about school though. But most of the talking was on my part and usually it sounded more like a lecture. Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm overstepping a line when I talk to Tyrone. I worry though that he's given an unrealistic view of life by this YMCA program and other self-esteem raising programs. I'm all for the "Dream Big" motto, but you also have to "Work Hard." In our discussion of possible careers and my stressing what subjects are important, I caught myself telling him, without thinking, "But you don't use verbs correctly." Ugh. Also, he's on block scheduling. He currently is taking "Working with Clay," but no Math. He spends 7.5 hours each week on pottery, but he struggles with simple arithmetic.

Friday night we went dancing at 80s Night. I brought a coworker who got drunk and kept bothering one of the girls with us. Touching, dancing too close, only talking to her even though the rest of us were standing right there. It was awkward - and somewhat creepy. Everybody said that they had a good time and they'd like to go again, but the girl has asked me if I wouldn't bring the coworker next time. Ouch.

I worked. I received a promotion, as of Saturday so, I was working those overtime hours at a new, higher billing rate.

I studied. Ask me about a pure endowment insurance. Or m-year deferred whole life insurance. DeMourve's Law? No problem. But I haven't learned about the premiums yet.

Jake came home from Mexico. And he leaves for his next assignment on Tuesday. It's like I'm back in my single apartment, but at a fraction of the rent.

I swam four kilometers but I ate a lot of junk food.

My minister told us about her new granddaughter who is the size of my foot, but only weighs less than 2 pounds. She brought one of her diapers to church to show us - the size, not the surprise inside. Actually I think it was a clean, unused diaper. It was so tiny, probably big enough to cover a tennis ball.

As you can see I did a good deal. I experienced things, but for some reason I feel that none of it was important. "85% of life is just showing up." I suppose that's what this weekend was.

18A Request

Sophomore year, I put together a list of the "Top Ten Things Don't Want to Hear from Your Freshman Roommate." This list included such gems as:

"Do you want to play boggle?"
"My name sounds Jewish, but I'm really Asian."
"I build robots; they suck balls."

And beyond that, I can't remember any of them. If you have a copy of this list, will you please send it to me? Thanks.

Tom - request

I was going to leave this as a comment from an earlier post but then realized that if I'm not reading my comments, then what are the chances anyone else is.

Tom, will you please send me a copy of our list of quotes and characters from our trip to Myrtle Beach during Senior Year? If someone else has it, I'd appreciate it from you too. I just figured Tom's the most likely to have it saved and to know where the copy is. My copy was destroyed when my computer crashed.

I can't remember the melody.

It's a little wild and a little strange...
when you make your home out on the range.
Start your horse and come along..
Cause you can't get a ride if you can't hold on
Singin, yippee kai aie ay. (Yippee kai aie what?)
Like the cowboys say. (Sing it again now.)
Yippee kai aie ay.
'Till the break of day.
You'd better watch out for those man-eating jackrabbits... And that killer cacti....
Hey Duuuuuude

Roommate Bonding

Jake and I had our first Out-of-the-Apartment Bonding Experience this weekend. We've gone out before for drinks or dinner but his girlfriend also came, so they were more Third Wheel Experiences.

We went to the Brewers/Cardinals game. I won the contest for who would spot the first mullet so Jake bought me a beer. It was a good game but extremely long. The hot dog race was at 9:30!

Jake drove and on the way home, he had the difficult job of selecting music. Remember, we've only known each other less than a month so we're still figuring out where each other stands. It's way too early to bring out the Bananarama music or the Beauty & the Beast soundtrack. (Just kidding, Ray, it's never too early to reveal to your freshman year roommate that you can sing Belle's opening number in its entirety, yet you still can't distinguish between the Beatles and U2.) So far Jake and I have been playing it safe at home. We stick to pretty neutral stuff, macho but not insulting. Jake has been playing his classic rock - the Boss, Mellencamp, maybe some Elton. I've been sticking with current cool music - Maroon 5, White Stripes, Johnny Cash. (Notice neither of us are playing women. I waited till he left today to pop in my Dixie Chicks CD.) At home, selecting one CD out of 30 is safe. It's not saying "no" to 29, but saying "yes" to a specific choice.

However, choosing music in the car is a different story. Songs come on the radio randomly and, in a moment, one must decide if it's good or bad. Are the oldies considered goodies? Is rap crap? What about Rod Stewart - cool or tool? Cory almost moved our of our apartment Junior year when he heard me playing a James Taylor album; I didn't make that mistake twice.

On our ride home, Jake was doing fine until he stopped at a station playing Wham's "Wake me Up Before you Go-Go." I was sure this was going to be nixed, but he didn't change the station. In fact, he said, "I don't care. I like this song. We'll keep it on." I was so surprised that I didn't stop to think before I said the first thing in my head: "Choose Life." I didn't think he'd get the reference but he did, and we talked about the music video and where "the other guy" is now.

As "Go-Go" was winding down I asked, "How are they going to top that off?"

"They'll come up with something."

And as the opening beats of "Come On, Eileen" were thumping, we knew the station certainly had. Poor old Johnny Rae...


On my way to the gym the next morning I tried that station again and heard Kenny Loggins's "Footloose." I car-danced the whole way to the swimming pool.

definition of friend

I was looking on the facebook today - I had to confirm that John really is my friend. Anyway, I have two exams to prepare for so I certainly spent some time randomly looking at other people's friends. I did a search on my high school and I got a ton of names. Very few of them graduated with me, but I recognized a good number of family names. It's a small town, we know about everybody.

My question though is: "Is it strange to request to be friends with kids I used to babysit for?" Well, whatever you say, I already did. Also, some extra information: their mother used to send me raunchy forwards. You know, the type with naked fat women jokes and the accompaning picture. I learned to screen her emails. So, it's not as if I crossing some sort of "inappropriateness line" with this family. It's just - Would it be weird to receive a friend request from a guy that used to come to your house on Saturday nights, order a pizza, and then tell you to go to bed at a reasonable hour (usually 10 minutes before the parents were due home, yes, my RAing skills were honed as a babysitter.)?

Mumbai, Schmumbai

Our IT guy's position has been eliminated. All the IT guys in the firm's positions have been eliminated. However, when we experience computer problems, we'll be able to contact the "help desk" in Mumbai, India and they will be happy to guide us back to computer solvency.

What are the leaders of my firm thinking? Have they ever tried these "help desks" before? "Help" is the last term I would use describe them. And where is Mumbai? Actually I looked it up and it's the new version of Bombay. (Even old New York was once New Amsterdam.) When was Bombay's name changed? I don't remember that happening.

I've recently started a log to keep track of all the times I've needed the IT guy's help. Usually I don't need him for catastrophic problems, but just small things to make my life easier. I would never feel comfortable calling the "help desk" about them. Some things on my list this week include: changing the default settings of my printer and installing new formulas in Excel. Sure I could do these things myself if I had an hour to spare and a manual, but I don't have either.

Replacing the IT support staff with foreign "help desk" will certainly not be cost effective. Every associate knows this, unfortunately the CEO and coterie do not.

Defense (and a joke for Jackie)

As you know, I moved to a new apartment at the beginning of the month. This has caused a good number of problems with my internet connection - well, not really problems but inconveniences.

We had signed the lease for a year with an agreement that we'd get free internet. This "free internet" access manifested itself in a little box that we had to connect to the phone jack in the kitchen. Jake tried it out, but alas, we had no internet. Neither of us wanted to complain to the leasing office because we had bigger problems that we wanted them to focus on. For me it was my bathroom sink's leaking. For Jake it was the army of spiders that made their way through the crack between his screen and window every night. Because neither of us had the internet connection fixed, we found other means to access the web. Jake used his wireless card to steal from the neighbors, who we rationalized were receiving free cable from the office anyway so it wasn't stealing, and I used my computer at work.

I had set myself guidelines that I would not blog at work. I have no problem reading blogs and commenting from my work computer, but I will not post. Part of this reason is that I know the IT guy can tell what websites we go to, and I would rather if my blog doesn't stand out from the many that I read during a day at work. This lack of posting was in September of this year, also known as the "blog drought of '05."

Since the "drought" I have bought my own wireless access card. Though I haven't figured out how to steal from my neighbors, I don't have to anymore. My apartment complex has fixed our connection and I can post from home. However, some livejournals now consider me a spammer and I'm not allowed to leave comments on them. I'd also like to repeat that my access is through the phone jack in the kitchen, so I'm sitting on the floor while typing this. And there are spiders crawling about; they must have broken through our duct tape.

Foot-in-mouth disease

This past week I have said a few inappropriate things that have made me want to crawl into a cave. I'd rather not relive any of the stories by writing about them now. But I wonder if stress is affecting me so that my brain filter isn't in full effect.

Seneca

However many people a tyrant slaughters, he cannot kill his successor.

Dentist follow-up

My dentist called today to see how I was feeling after my cavity was filled yesterday. I have never had a doctor follow-up on how I felt.

Frenchie

Luic is a guy from our NYC office. He's originally from Paris. At first I thought he was an arrogant bastard. It turns out that he is, but it's not because he's French, it's just his personality and I like him because of it. Tonight he gave the waitress such a hard time, but when it came time to pay the check, he added a tip well beyond the gratuity that was already included.

When Luic is around some of us talk in really bad French accents and we spend most of our time discussing "not saving [his] ass next time in WWIII."

He and I took care of most of the two bottles of wine at dinner tonight. Viva la France!

The Spawn of Tom & John

I'm going to have a tough time explaining why my coworker reminds me of Tom and John, combined. His name is Thomas and he's from North Carolina. He went to school in Texas. So, I suppose his Southern background makes me think of John. He is also very smart though it is mostly in math and finances. But I'm constantly impressed with his knowledge of social sciences and current events.

He has the same facial expressions of John. The look of shock on Thomas's face when LA Michael confessed to crying throughout the entire 3rd season of Felecity could only be matched by John's look when Ray would talk about guns and/or Beauty & the Beast. He is also good at flirting with the girls, though I wonder if he's really interested in them. A good deal of his attention is spent on Jison (married for 7 years) and Angela (engaged this week). He's also a spiffy dresser. Today he wore cuff links though it was Denim Friday.

Thomas reminds me of Tom mostly because he dances like him. I don't mean in a club or some other dance setting. But he dances when he's waiting for food - in the lunch line or when choosing candy for the sleepy afternoons. He also dances while sitting in class; one can tell when he's figured out a problem. His shimmies are similar to Tom's when he learns that new comic books are released or when he's listening to songs about Christian vegetables or hears that Johnny Damon has a new haircut.

I would say that Thomas's style or intelligence reminds me of Tom, but it doesn't - just his dancing. Those other aspects are John's.

Also, John, one of my coworkers from Boston is gay (maybe) and he's cute - I think. He lives in the North End. And he's an actuary; he's a good provider. Anyway, I know you have Daniel and I'm not sure if it's improper for me to mention this or not - but I thought I would because every time I talk to this guy I think, "I like him. How can I introduce him to John?"

I've also met quite a few people from Philly, but I don't think any are worthy of Adina or Dan's time, especially given the fact that they're engaged now. Actually I don't like a good number of the people that I've met from the Philadelphia office.

Half Day

We only had a half day of class today. Boy did I need the break. I had originally thought that I would spend the afternoon exploring Atlanta, but instead, my friends and I walked around the local mall. We didn't even see a movie as we had originally planned. But Jison did get a pedicure.

Trivia went well last night. There were four rounds of ten questions each. We placed third; prizes went to the first two teams. Our team name was "Get it in There," which is a phrase that our instructor has been using all week - long story, not very good story either. But my teammates thought it was great. The questions weren't nearly as difficult as the ones I'm used to at Our House, but it was still a good deal of fun. How did Al Capone die? What were the only two states to join the Union on the same day? In what city were the Dirty Harry movie set?

Actuarially Excited

Do you know why 40-some actuaries - all in their 20s are excited? Because we found a local bar with trivia. I am with my people. My fellow dorks.

Jumper

The hotel has a large open area in the center to where all the rooms open up. On the ground floor there are fountains and tables in that center area where people eat and meet. The hotel rooms all face this open space so that we can look over a railing down to the lobby. The other day, while we were at lecture, a former employee of the hotel jumped from the 16th floor to the lobby. I don't know the whole story, but there is still a tarp covering up part of the fountain and garden area. I wonder if there is a chalk outline under the tarp. Do cops still use chalk outlines?

Typical Day in Atlanta

I am in Atlanta for an internal company seminar on Actuarial Mathematics. About forty coworkers of mine are here - staying in the same hotel, eating out, galavanting about town and whatnot. I want to go home. I'm tired of eating out and sleeping in this giant bed. I'm really sick of studying. This seminar is intense. We're here for 8 days. We are in class for 8 hours each day. And then some people study at night too! While others spend their evenings checking out the bars, going to the gym, enjoying the hotel's complimentary happy hour, and blogging.

I feel like I've been here for a long time, but it's only been a few days. And my days aren't too jam-packed either. Here is a typical day in Atlanta:

6:00 - The alarm goes off.
6:01 - I fumble with the hotel clock.
6:30 - Turn on shower.
6:35 - The water finally is hot and I shower.
7:00 - Complimentary breakfast, usually with a coworker whose name I can't remember.
7:20 - The first shuttle leaves for the office.
8:00 - Class begins.
8:00-12:00 - Lecture, interupted by hung-over coworkers stumbling into the room throughout the morning.
Noon - Lunch, traditionally something very heavy and Southern.
12:37 - Back to lecture (The class was split between evenly between 30- or 45-minute lunches, so we settled on the average. We're actuaries.)
4:37 - Class ends and we are set free. The shuttle takes us back to the hotel, but I always walk.

After class I sometimes run at the gym, but one day some friends and I stayed at the office to study more. It was grueling. Actually it was extremely helpful to work alongside peers.

5:30-7:30 - Complimentary happy hour.
7:00 - Meet in the lobby to go for dinner. Organize the shuttle. This is extremely difficult as we still don't know most people's names. We also don't know who wants to go to eat with us, and there are some whom I don't want to eat with. Also, there are 40 of us, how do we politely keep our numbers down. Especially because my group is clearly the cool clique. (Yeah, I may have the gold medal but it's still the special olympics.) We're actuaries, remember.
9:00 - Back at the hotel to study or out to drink.


Newsflash, kiddos: We found a bar with Trivia Night on Wednesday. We're going to dominate. And I'm not the one who found it. Luic, the bitter Parisian suggested we go after he read an advertisement above a urinal. And Thomas, the South Carolinian Libertarian, who is a cross between Tom and JohnnyBombay fully endorsed it. Thomas also speaks with a French accent, but that's just to make fun of Luic. They should be good for clever team names. On a sidenote, Thomas did not see the advertisement because he used the ladies' room. We were at an Irish Pub and we couldn't figure out which restroom was which. However, when I walked into the wrong bathroom, I noticed that there were no urinals and turned right around.

This post is costing me $10

I'm in Atlanta, learning about Actuarial Mathematics. I finally bought a wireless adapter. My hotel charges me $10 to use their wireless internet. Rip off. I'm not sure if I should be charging it to my company. If I were doing any work, I would but I'm really paying just to blog - and to read the email from my friends who have moved recently.

I am meeting my coworkers for dinner (and free cocktail hour!). Gotta go.

I'll have details later. They'll include the guy that is a cross between Tom and John, the engagement, the suicide in the hotel, a penis veil, a short cop tackling an actuary, and so much more.

Also, I need to fill you in on my new roommate, Jake.

Cancel cable

I tried to call to change my address with the cable company but I couldn't get through "due to a fire in the North Milwaukee location." I imagine as they all fled the building, some manager stopped and yelled to his coworkers, "I must change the phone message! Go! Save yourselves! This is customer service, damn it, and our customers deserve to know what's happening!"

SuperGlue

My bottle of SuperGlue cracked open. Luckily, though, it glued itself shut and did not spill in the drawer.

Milk

I also keep the caps from the milk containers. I drank about 35 gallons of milk this past year. Skim milk, but still, that's a lot.

Eggs

I accumulated my empty egg cartons this year, in case I ever needed some craft supplies. Today I will be throwing out 25 of those cartons. In the last year, I've eaten, at least, 300 eggs.

Moving

This weekend I will be moving from Apartment Building B to Apartment Building C. On Monday I will meet my roommate, Jake.

Lo-lee-ta

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta."

I'm actually enjoying the language of this book. I never re-read things just to hear them, but I've been re-reading the first paragraphs of the book. Sometimes outloud, sometimes in my head.

I'm feeling guilty about enjoying this book.

Mid-Year Review

I am struggling to fight the urge to write about my mid-year review with my new boss, the only guy in the office that I don't like. Seriously, at what point do I go to more senior people and ask to be managed by someone else?

Big Detour 2005

Reasons why Adina should be a part of Big Detour 2005

1. Has she ever not enjoyed a road trip with an 18Aer? From the first snow-laden trip to Moscow, PA to the most recent Jackie-bound Sisterhood of the Traveling New Jersians?

2. We will have stories forever.

3. She can see where Dan came from. We can visit the Oriental Theater where he spent his "Goth days."

4. It will be perfect timing for me. I'll have recently finished an exam and have extra vacation time to take.

5. Tom needs company. Of course, perhaps this list will convince Felecia or John to join him too.

6. Listen to what other visitors have said:

Jenn: "Milwaukee is a classy place."
Tyler: "Snap, Milwaukee is great."
Molly: "Golly, Milwaukee is great."
Ray: "Dude, jigga, Milwaukee is great."
Cory: "Mazeltov, Milwaukee is great." (He said this both times he was here.)

7. Listen to what Adina has said:
June 5: " i am seriously considering taking a trip out to milwaukee."

Potpourri

I had volunteered to work at Vacation Bible School this week. I went on Monday and Tuesday nights, but unfortunately no kids came. So, I went home early each night and I don't plan on going back. There were some kids, but they were older and I had been assigned to elementary school children. I'm not really upset over this. I had other plans.

For example, last night I went drinking.

Some coworkers had a happy hour yesterday and I had to miss it for church! What a dilemma, but God won. Fortunately when VBS was done early, I managed to catch up with the others and had a few beers.

Tonight, I had my classics book club. We discussed Alice in Wonderland and our next book is Lolita. We have a theme of old men and little girls going on. I'm kidding; it's just a strange coincidence. I brought two new people, Rebecca and Sarah, to the meeting. (We left Isaac and Abe at home.) This is in addition to Ann, whom I had brought when we were reading Middlemarch. Slowly I'm taking over this club.

I bought some ear drops finally. Having them in my ear for a half hour was a good excuse to watch The West Wing. I didn't see any improvement last night, however, all day long I could tell that things were shaking up in my head. And then, as I was driving home from my book club, BAM! I could hear. It is wonderful.

My boss sent out an e-mail this week about the dress policy. He stressed that we are not allowed to wear halter tops. What's sad is that this was needed to be said for one of the consultants. She looked good, but it really wasn't appropriate for the office.

Can you repeat that please?

Since I began swimming, I occasionally have had water in my ear. No big deal. After a few hours- maybe a day, it would go away.

Last Tuesday, while I was in the dentist's chair, they tipped me back to a weird angle and the water in my ear reached a new section. The water is still there. And I have not been able to hear well for the past week. It's not a big deal until I try to talk with people, especially if there is a good deal of background noise. I also have a problem hearing when I'm eating. All I can hear then is the chewing that is going on in my own head.

I bought hydrogen peroxide yesterday and I've been cleaning my ear with that. It's only $0.52 for a bottle! But that doesn't seem to be helping. I think I'm going to have to buy the more expensive ($2.50/tube) ear wax remover. These are the days that I want a girl friend. I need someone who can see my ear and take care of me.

Of course, a well-trained butler could do that too.

Beth

Last night I drove to Racine to visit Beth, who was in visiting at her father's house. She actually came to Wisconsin to say "good-bye" to her mother who is doing a two-year mission trip in Africa. That's incredible; I can't imagine my mother doing that.

Beth's dad and step-mom were fun. The extended family was there but I mostly hung out with the immediate family, like Beth's dad and brother, David. We ate brats and drank beer. We gossiped about our friends, which I always love to do. I told Beth's dad about Jenn's blog and how it had a good story of the girls getting drunk on Jackie's last day in Boston. We watched the lightning shoot across the sky. We went inside when it started to rain. And we went in the basement when the tornado warnings started. We had our tornado kit with us though - a flashlight, a corkscrew, some glasses and some wine.

We popped the cork and began a game of Trivial Pursuit. Step-Mom had had plenty of wine and she made the game amusing. Eventually though I had to leave because it was getting late. But it was a great cook-out. I should take Beth's dad's offer to come down anytime for a beer or a pizza or anything. It would be a lot of fun.

catch up

I have spent a good deal of time on the phone lately. Besides the numerous calls last week, I talked to Cory last night for an hour. And tonight Thomas called and we talked for an hour too. He was in a car accident today and I think he wanted to say Good-bye before Maureen kills him.

Tomorrow I get to see Beth. She's in Wisconsin to wish her mom well before she goes to Africa for two years. I can't imagine my mom deciding to go on a mission trip for such a long time. But good for her. She's a nurse and I'm sure her skills will be appreciated.

I haven't been studying as much as I should. I haven't done anything to prepare for my pending move. And I haven't cooked that eggplant that I bought at the farmer's market last Saturday.

The Dentist

I went to the dentist today for the first time in Wisconsin. I brought all three of my health care cards because I still can't figure out which is which. And it turns out that none of them are for dental care, but somehow the receptionist knew where to call and she figured out my benefits. I then asked her to explain my benefits to me. Being that I've spent the last year working for a firm that values benefits, including dental, this was not a proud moment for me.

My dental experience was different than what I've known in Pennsylvania. First of all, my old dentist had been my mom's when she was a kid. So, we have history. I arrived at my dentist's office all the way out in Waukesha. I filled out some forms, played with a mind puzzler, and read some Humor in Uniform before Sharon called my name.

Sharon brought me to her cubicle where I was to sit and wait for the doctor. They weren't going to clean my teeth today. This was a "get-to-know-me visit". I kept imagining an interview, in which I botch up some simple question and then am denied future treatment. Because really, what did then need to get to know? I have teeth. They have plague. Speaking of plagues, I noticed that Sharon did not have any hanging on her cube's walls. This sort of worried me as even barbers proudly display their credentials.

The office didn't have little examining rooms. All of the hygenists had cubicles. Everyone could hear everyone else's business. As I waited for the doctor I could hear the woman next to me, though I could only see her sneakers. I don't like the idea of my cleaning or filling or any other medical issues being discussed in such an open environment.

Sharon handed me a dixie cup. I gave her a funny look and she told me to drink and then spit out the disinfectant. It was gross and I couldn't help but think that a shot of Jack would be just as effective and much more enjoyable.

The dentist arrived and introduced himself. He told me that he broke his glasses this morning so he couldn't see me too well. I told him that I had water in my ear from swimming so I couldn't actually hear him too well either. I laughed, but I don't think he thought it was funny. He looked at the form I had filled out and said, "So, you're an actuary?" I said, "Yep." The hygenist in the next cube (but it could have been a patient) yelled over, "My nephew's an actuary too! A lot of tests!" The dentist began to tilt my seat back and I got the feeling that the "get-to-know-you" period of the visit was over.

He handed me some dark glasses to wear and explained that it's for the bright light and "just in case something goes flying." What kind of place is this? Just scrape the plague off of my teeth, buddy. Take some x-rays. Give me a drink. Tell me to spit. Lecture me on flossing. And give me a toothbrush. I put on the glasses and felt ridiculous, but incredibly safe. The dentist poked around while giving stats to Sharon: "5mm in the anterior pituitary, slight overbite on teeth 3, 4, and 5, plague in quadrant 4." I had no idea if they were good or bad statements. Or even if they were real.

The dentist left so that Sharon could take my x-rays. But first she had to check that I had not had any x-rays recently. I explained that this was the first time I was using this insurance and that I had not been to a dentist in a year. But she checked anyway and told me I was right, I had no history. Thanks, Sharon.

After the x-rays, I was told by the doctor that my teeth are so good that they could squeeze in a cleaning right then, if I would stay. He called Toni, the hygenist, and she soon came to my cubicle. It turns out that Sharon doesn't have plagues because she doesn't have credentials. Whew, mystery solved.

Toni was very friendly and talked the whole time. I made her laugh a couple of times too. She told me about her invention that she wants to develop but isn't motivated enough see it through. She told me about her friend who had the means to help her design it too. It's a dental tool of some sorts, but Toni wouldn't give me the specifics. I'm not sure if she thought I would steal her dental innovation or if she had just been worried that someone in the next cubicle would overhear. Either way, she was gentle while cleaning my teeth, so I hope if she does develop her project that she doesn't become so rich that she doesn't continue to clean my teeth.

busy

I'm just too popular and busy to sit down and write a good posting.

Chinese buffet

I went to one for lunch today. That's the closest thing to "news" that I have to report here in Milwaukee.

brewers vs cards

I went to the Brewers game tonight. I sat next to a 5-year old Cardinals fan, who heckled me. He did tell me a good joke (though prompted by his mom). And I did trick him into cheering for Lyle Overbay. Any day that I outsmart a 5-year old is a good day.

Prince

I finally broke down and took The Half-Blood Prince from the library. I had read the first hundred pages while in the Seattle airport for 5 hours. I read the next two hundred pages during my trips to the library when I needed breaks from Actuarial Mathematics. But tonight they had four copies there. So, I didn't feel guilty - as if I were taking a book that was meant for a fourth grader and therefore depriving them of a future love of reading.

Backstroke of the West

Even non-Star War fans will appreciate it.

party

I threw a party last night. It was a success. I made meatloaf, deviled eggs, and tomato & cucumber salad. Strangers introduced themselves. We played Mafia and Trivia Pursuit (though they weren't nearly as good as the games we played in college). We went outside and tossed the frisbee in the dark. People climbed up above the garage. I talked to the security guard about people climbing to the garage roof. He took my name. I hope I don't get detention. I remained semi-sober and had no hangover.

I need a drink.

I'm throwing a party tonight and I need some ideas for a good summer cocktail. I will also be serving coronas if that helps. My current liquor collection contains shiraz, Cap't Morgan, and Jack. I'm looking for something fruity, maybe, so I know that I will be buying other bottles too.

Any suggestions?

Drunk Hugger

At dinner with my coworkers last night, we discussed the drunken adventures of the Intern. The office manager thought the stories were great. He's still a college guy at heart. I bet he was in a frat. He's huge, probably 6'4" and built. Not necessarily muscley, but certainly not fat - he's just a big guy.

I sat next to him at dinner and while we discussed embarassing drunk stories he quietly said something about "hugging people". I couldn't help it but laugh, because it's a well-known fact in the office that the manager hugs people when he's drunk. He's hugged all of us at one point, I'm sure. And despite his size, it only takes two or three drinks to get him to that point.

I started to laugh at his comment, so he turned to me and asked, "Are you laughing at me?" I could only nod because I was laughing too much. It really is a silly idea: it's like finding out that the varsity quarterback from high school loses all of his toughness after 2 beers and starts hugging everything in sight. Luckily the rest of the table was laughing at Intern, so noone else knew that I was laughing at the boss, except for the boss. He understood though. He's a good guy - fun to be around and understanding. And if you by him a drink, he'll give you a hug.

Where's my elephant?

I've had a range of thoughts today. And somehow they all bring me back to the question, "Where's my elephant?"

Of course, I was thinking about one of my favorite questions, "Am I happy/content?" and "What's the difference between the two?" I thought about how much I am going to study for the November exam, which, chances are, I will not pass. And why am I doing it?

I thought about the work that I want to pass on to the New Hire and the Intern. It's grunt-work that I'd rather not be doing.

At happy hour today, I mentioned the "raise-less promotion" that someone received last year. (Since then, he's quit.) And I expressed my desire to turn down anything that would bring me more work with no compensation. Now, I'm not saying that I need more money, but perhaps different work that would expand my knowledge or opportunities to try new things. However, the "raise-less promotion" seems to just be a way to raise my billing rate, which will make my life more difficult and the firm more money. I find it offensive.

When I mentioned this at happy hour, my colleagues looked at me shocked. I'm not sure if they were more shocked that I thought it or that I said it. I also revealed some cynicism by saying, "We're not going to have mid-year reviews. And anyway, Bob's supposed to do mine and I don't think that's going to happen." I know most people share my disdain for Bob, but I'm the only one stupid enough to say anything. Especially because he's become my manager now that Deb has left.

I received a late phone call last night. "Moshi, moshi." Kate said. She then explained that her firm sent her to Tokyo for a few months to work on a case. She's a paralegal. We talked about the nature of work and I don't think she likes her current condition, but she couldn't expand, given that she was calling me from work on her lunch break. I thought it was interesting that Kate called me because this week I was contacted by another friend who happens to be in Japan now. She left a comment earlier this week. She, Laura, claims to be stalking me through blogger. So, the only two people I know in Japan are both tall blond women. I wonder if they ever see each other over the crowds of short, moreno people. Kate invited me to visit in the next few months, but I can't see being able to afford those plane tickets on such short notice. But as I was thinking about it, the thought occurred to me, "Why not? I deserve it."

There were other moments today that I thought about things and experiences that I want. And that I feel I deserve. I'm happy but I'm not content. Where's my elephant?

Celebration Dinner

After work tonight, the exam-passers of the last sitting went out for dinner on the company. We went to a fancy seafood restaurant downtown. It was a nice intimate group. There were the highest level actuaries there as well as the exam takers who are usually the youngest employees. The dinner was delicious and I would not be able to afford the restaurant on my own. Well, I could, but I wouldn't enjoy paying the bill. This was some more motivation to pass my next exam.

This weekend I began my study schedule. It's ambitious. In the mornings I will study corporate finance before work and in the evenings - actuarial mathematics. Yeehaw.

80s Night

I went to 80s night at a local bar on Friday with a coworker, Rebecca. She and her husband and their friends all remember the 80s. I was born then.

Rebecca introduced me to a friend of hers (Chris or Dave, but it doesn't matter, for the story, I'll call him, Chris). We went through the awkward introductory questions. I tried to make myself sound older; he is 35. But he is short, so I felt older. When I told him I'm originally from rural Pennsylvania, he said, "Oh, so you had a farm?"
"No."
"But you had a lot of farms around your house?"
"No. We had woods. You could hunt there if you want. But I lived in a neighborhood. We actually had sewers installed when I was in high school." I said this to be funny (even though it's true), but he took it seriously.
"So, is your family really religious then?"
What the hell? Where did that come from? And who asks that within the first five questions of meeting someone? And it's entirely too subjective. I don't think I'm very religious, but some people might. And on the other hand, most zealots would caterogize me in the "heathen" column. But it's none of your (Chris's) business anyway. So, for a strange question, I gave a strange answer:
"We're a blue state."
This ended the conversation. Well, it brought on some awkward silence and then one of us walked away. But later I found out that he's fron Osh Kosh. Osh Kosh! Who are you to be judging rural PA? You're from Osh Kosh.

They did not play "Livin' on a Prayer" or "Like a Prayer".

Library Story

I'm going to combine two events that happened to me this weekend because it makes the story much better. The sum is more than the pieces.

I went to the library. I had two goals - read my Actuarial Mathematics book for at least 3 hours and to read the rental copy of Half-Blood Prince so that I won't have to buy a copy nor pay the $1 to rent it for the week. The library that had a copy of Prince is about 12 blocks away. It's a great distance to ride my bike - too far to walk comfortably with my text book but too close to rationalize using my car. So, I took my bike: I fought traffic, I used hand signals, I rode uphill in the blazing sun without sunglasses. I arrived at the library in about 15 minutes (I hit a number of red lights.) but when I went to lock my bike to the rack I realized that I had forgotten the key to my bike lock. Curses! I stood and stared at the rack for 5 minutes willing the key to appear even though I could picture it on my shelf at home. When I finally accepted the fact that "apparating" is impossible, I got back on my bike and rode home. Somehow, I rode uphill again, though this time the sun was behind me.

I arrived at home a sweaty mess. I decided that this time I would walk to the library. My biking enthusiasm was quashed and I didn't like the idea of dripping perspiration on my textbook. I dropped my helmet, lock, and tire pump on my table, laced up my sneakers, and set out on my return trip to the library. Thirty minutes later I arrived at the library. I walked past the bike rack to the front door. But it was locked. The Milwaukee Public Library is closed on Sundays in the summer.

A Dash of Mortality

In a recent conversation with my mom she told me that she quit her job. This isn't too big of a deal. She worked at the front desk of a local supermarket. She did it more to get out of the house than for the money. Actually I think it cost our family more to have her work 20 hours each week than if she were at home. She had gone back to work when I went into high school so it's not as if she's not going to know what to do with her time either. I have a feeling that her yard is going to finally get some long-needed attention. She says she quit because she was tired of dealing with the management; there had been some changes in the last two years. And also, her peers that she counted as friends had already quit as well.

What bothers me about this though, is that when she told me she quit and I asked her what she's going to do now, she said, "I guess I'll retire." She then laughed so I didn't take her seriously. But still for a brief moment I was reminded that my parents are not going to remain the same forever. I've been so caught up in the changes that I've gone through in the last 10 years, I forgot that the rest of my family is living their lives as well.

My family is still pretty much the same as they were a decade ago, except everyone is older. The youngest member is about 11 years old, though we still call her "the baby." All four of my grandparents are alive and so are my great aunt and uncle. They don't drive as much as they used to, and they don't golf anymore, and they talk more often about their doctors than their grandchildren. But in a lot of ways, they're still the same. Grampa Dicko (seriously, that's what we call him) still goes to the VFW for a beer directly after church. Dad's mom still looks like she could spit fire whenever Hilary Clinton is brought up in conversation. And Uncle Harry still sends every dish back to the kitchen when we eat out. They still tell the same stories and laugh at the same jokes.

So, I was taught a little lesson during my conversation with Mom. Things will change. And I can't do anything to stop them. But my money's on the fact that I'm going to be taught that lesson again. And then probably a few more times.